Starting over

Hi all, I have been a gambler most of my life and decided to stop in 2017 being £40,000 in debt I have cleared over half of that debt and without gambling I had money to spend on myself, I felt that I had control back in my life and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. At christmas I went to a casino and came out winning, I was happy and put the money in the bank then I went back again a few times had some wins and losses. I thought I was in control of it until the losses came more frequent and bigger which made me go back to chase, until last night when I lost it all and some that wasn't mine to spend. Well I woke up this morning and realised I can't do this anymore I have the hopeless feeling back again. So here I am reading peoples stories and trying to get perspective on why i have done this to myself again. I have excluded from my local casino and a few others within driving distance, hopefully that helps, but most of all I really have no desire to keep doing this I'm 48 years old and would like to be debt free before I am 50, I have a good job that pays well so this shouldn't be a problem as long as I don't gamble but most of all I want to feel like a normal person again. I plan to come on this site and read peoples stories any time I feel the urge to gamble, some stories I read I feel they are writing about me and it helps. So here's to day 1 being gf, I am not setting huge goals at the moment, I can only do one day at a time.

Thanks for listening Chris