Steady as she goes!

Hey Kev

Glad you were able to shake off those thoughts of gambling to pay the bills - I think of that kinda thing all the time but I just keep reminding myself i would just be increasing them longterm.

Saturday today - gonna be a toughie for me. Always the best racing day of the week and everyone I know I completely preoccupied with it this morning. Havent looked at racing since wed or anything to do with it so hopefully will get by. How are you finding it - have you managed to watch it or have you been like me and completely avoided it?

Hope you have a great day!

Eyes

X

Hi LE,

Hve had a really good 4 days, and feeling good about things.

I have to say that I haven't had the tv on at all this week since Monday so have really just kept away. As it's saturday, it does feel a bit strange not trailing through the RP and the form and I'm glad that the Guineas is next week and not this week as I have been to that meeting every year since 1990. My friend wants us to go next week, and I haven't yet decided although if i do go I am determined not to have a bet as I just don't want to.

Have worked really hard this week, and clocked up a 47 hr week, so asuming that all my clients are solvent and pay my invoices will have some money to pay off some bills in a couple of weeks or so.

It's definately best to think about doing something else today as it is a bigger temptation on a saturday. So what have you decided to do today?

Weldy

Hi Weld,

Thank you for your thoughts in my diary I was touched by them. As you say, it feels good to get replies and to know that ones thoughts have been heard and acknowledged. Ive been a prolific poster at times especially when new people join. I often think that if people feel part of something here they are more likely to stick around.

For me on average I ave posted in my diary every other day and the last 11 months have just flown by.. all gambling free! 🙂

I have red your diary. I see that you are under the financial cosh at the moment.. but they will sort themselves out in time.. no quick fix! I can o so relate to the not being able to buy anything for oneself but using every last pound to gamble with. I would regularly convince myself that when i next won a jackpot I would buy this and buy that. It never happened.. self-delusion! I make a point nowadays of buying myself something nice to wear once a week or once a fortnight. I now have ten pairs of shoes and trainers as opposed to one of each. I have choice about what to put on my feet! lol

I notice you talk about "band rehearsal". To me that looks like a natural replacement for the gambling. That and music in general coukld be your passion, your fun.. one of the things you do for yourself.. but soemthing that does not have to empty your bank account.

Keep working your recovery.. just one day at a time as you are doing.. as I work my recovery just one day a time. All the bestb in recovery.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA,

Yes the band is good as it helps to distract me for even a little time from the gambling, especially in the summer now that the evening meetings are in full flight.

However, this isn't a new hobby, I started it some 6 years ago thinking exactly that when I quit gambling once before.

However, I went back to the gambling but thankfully continued with the band, and that is good as we have progressed into a pretty good covers band.

I have recently joined another band which will take up a bit more time, so as long as I can keep this up (which I fully intend to!) then all will be well.

I'm nearly through today, and have family coming to dinner tonight, so I will have completed my fifth clean day.

Feeling good about that and have been very good today, though couldn't believe it when a friend phoned me this morning for some "betting advice". He wouldn't normally do that as he doesn't often bet, but he knows me as a gambler so called me. I have to say that I thought the irony was quite hilarious!

But I did say to him that I couldn't actually help him as I was abstaining from betting, which he chuckled about and didn't ask any further questions about, but I'm glad I was able to tell him that and more importantly, I was not tempted to go off and turn on the racing channel and watch.

Guess that was one of those "tests" that are sent to us from the divine devil of gambling! And I passed the test!

Instead, did some gardening, went to the local refuse site, tidied up the garage and washed both the cars. Very productive day!

Well hope you are all doing great to!

Hiya Weldy

Well Id say Ive safely made it through my first saturday without a bet! Went a long drive to a country park and spent the afternoon walking in the beautiful sunshine. Was very heartening. Grabbed a bite to eat on the way home and just enjoyed the peace and solidarity that the nature gave me - kinda like a refuge for the day.

Anyway home now - glad to see you managed to fill the day with lost of tasks - feels good to get the little things done. Hope your family dinner is enjoyable.

Ive just had a blow by blow account of todays racing from my dad. It annoyed me having to listen but he doesnt buy the fact i have a problem so had to just bite my tongue.

Interesting what you say about the guineas - I live up north and for us the sunday is usually a big family day at hamilton with private box etc. Ive already made my excuses and will not be there for the first time in 10 years. You will know yourself about Newmarket but Id think very carefully about it bud before you decide to go.

All the best

Eyes X

Hi Weldy just joined the site today. I am addicted to slot machines. But feel it is the same as any gambling as get same rush as seeing if your horse comes in or jackpot flashes. Great to see you are being positive about everything and seeing every danger put in front of you as a challenge to beat.

Money is an issue and sometimes so much so it is what makes us go back to gambling as we see it as a way out to deal with our debts. But we all know this isnt the answer as if we did have that one big win we would just end up spending it and even more!!! thats why this addiction is a clever sneaky little B*****r.

So stay strong and carry on with the family trend and the band. Its a case of keeping ourselves so occupied we havent the energy or need to gamble. Life can be a high in itself we just have to realise this.. Min x

Hey all!

Thanks for the replies, and glad to see some good progress by many.

It's sunday noon (ish) and i have just got up after a good sleep and I'm looking forward to today as I'm taking the kids out for a walk.

i'm on day 6 and it feels great. Not feeling tempted, as I keep reminding myself what I'd be doing and feeling and just don't need all that c**P.

Hi cantcope, glad to see you on here. Yes, I agree that whatever your form of gambling they are pretty much the same thoughts and results that mess with your head, it's clear from the forum that they are the same demons just in a slightly different form.

LE, keep up the good work, keep posting and reading as things will come good if you keep going and resisting any temptations. It must be hard to hear your family talking about the day's events, but you are doing well to not get involved.

Well, catch you all later and be strong.

Weldy

Hey Kev

Just had a look at the band website - so professional - looks amazing. You have something really productive to get your teeth into there - that must be really enjoyable.

My brothers band havent got a site as yet - hes kinda in between bands at the moment. In truth hes an exceptional guiatarist but his band were all mates who just held him back because they werent as good.

You asked about my bf and last week I decided to end things there. Its been on/off for 4 years and he has major issues of his own which I cant carry for him anymore. We will stay friends but for now I have to look after myself and he wasnt good for me.

Hope you had a nice sunday

Eyes X

Just checking in - have nearly completed day 6 and I'm in good shape. No urges at all today.

Weldy

Hi Kevin,

I am on day 54 and reading your first post , Icould have written that myself 54 days ago. Today despite still owing £60k I feel much much better , I am pursuing interests , I am working hard , I am spending time with friends and quality time with my wife , I am exercising , decoratimg and working on projects I wanted to do for years. The biggest crime for me about this all even more than putting myself and family in big big debt is the completely enormous amount of time I lost.

None of this will ever be recovered, coming to terms with this is partly beating the problem I think.

Good Luck.

hi kev

Day 6 for you mate, it will soon be 60, be strong and keep up the good work.

Gazza...........

Hi Gazza,

Hope so mate! Finding much support here and it is helping so much.

Weldy

Monday morning blues!

The day has started badly and I am feeling very under pressure with work. That's usually a trigger for me to bury my head in the sand and go gambling, so I will have to keep my wits about me today!

"The silicon chip inside my head has switched to overload!". Must keep strong!

And it's raining aswell.

Weldy

Hey Weldy,

Try to stay strong........go an hour at a time and keep posting updates on here.

Let's be strong together.

Jas x

I've got to go to the sodding bank now and it's raining here too //(*_*)....life eh!!!

Hellllllllllllllooooooo Kevin

Firstly thanks a lot for your posts most appreciated. Sorry to here that you feel under pressure. Don't worry it will get easier, I really only ever gambled seriously at the beginning of the month and I could go a couple of weeks quite easily without gambling BECAUSE I had no money not because I was strong willed but as soon as the last day of the month came BANG!! all of these thoughts would come rushing into my head.

I had a long (ish) skim through your diary and I think you should be really proud of yourself you are doing really well. Also at this point its good to see that you have struck what seems to be a kinship with Lying eyes and jas seems to be in there a lot as well. This is really important as you help each other through these early days and weeks.

I pasted my 6 month barrier yesterday and I didn't even think about it until earlier when I was skimming your diary. So well done Kev keep it up and things I promise will get easier I now no longer have worries about the telephone ringing the postman or have to stop the kids playing in the front garden in the summer because of the bailiff coming.

I am not out of the woods yet but the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched back on

We are similiar ages I am 43 next time and when I started adulthood I didn't have a burning desire to be a liar cheat and general A******* but thats what for many years I was.. I am now trying to change all of that to become the Man,Dad,Partner, Brother, son & Friend I set out to be..

Cheers Kev and keep posting Danm