Stephen ~ Stopped Gambling 27th January 2018

Is there anything more we can do to help you through this? I am thinking more practical stuff such as come and write something short every morning and every night in your diary would that help?

Hello Stephen, I know it’s been said before but how about sticking with the same diary. Also, a bit of a cliche but don’t beat yourself up and appolgise about letting people down and finally as I’m on a roll don’t put yourself under so much pressure by telling the Gamcare world and trying to convince yourself that you will never gamble again. My moral here is, stop putting pressure on yourself.

Hello Stephen sorry to hear bout ur relapse again well done for being honest

Thankyou Nicenormalfamily, Volcano, Christer and Changemylife. I really do appreciate the support, encouragement and advice. I will get back to you soon.

Not been feeling very good. I woke up last night dreaming I was drowning and today I have just felt really down in the dumps. I have my CT Thorax Scan @ 4-20 so a bit worried about my chest/breathing also. That's because of smoking, I stopped when I was 50 but the damage was done by than. I've only had one enemy in my life and that's been me.

Self pity reading is about 99.9%. Why oh why oh why am I such a fool. Whatever compels me to gamble i really don't know. Sheer madness.

Anyway Day 2 now and just got to try harder this time.

Sad to hear this mate but glad uve a positive mindset to beat it this time with this diary,I think uve had a few now since I've joined the site it would be good to see you racking up a few months gamble-free and once you get to that stage im sure the compulsion to gamble will weaken day by day..good luck

Thank you for the support and encouragement Sel.

Congratulations on 100 days gamble free, you are doing really well.

I look forward to following your journey...stephen

Just started my 3rd day gamble free.

Most of yesterday I spent looking at myself with nothing but contempt. Regardless of whether it helps or hinders it is just the way it is.The unpalatable truth, my weakness, is right there staring me in the face. Over the years i have repeatedly promised myself, and others, that I would never gamble again. Time after time I have reneged on that promise.

They say a man's as good as his word but my word is obviously worth nothing.

"Stand up and be counted" or be like me and run to the fobt machine in the bookies.

I hope I can summon up the strength, courage and sense of decency that will empower me in my fight. It is only by complete abstinence from gambling that I can hope to find any peace of mind, happiness and self respect....stephen

Hi Stephen,

I'm really sorry to read you're still in the wars my friend. Goodness me, you've got your stresses mate, I can't even put myself in your shoes and imagine. Please go easy on yourself. You're a good man. You're up against it, and have health worries that would affect anyone! You have a strong spirit and that will always put you in very good stead.

Thinking of you.

Mixer

Hi Stephen just saying hello. Good luck with the scan this afternoon. It's impossible to say 'never'. You're human. I think this is a tough time of year and not feeling 100% doesn't help. Just for today.

Thankyou Mixer & Merry go round for your support and encouragement.

Had my scan yesterday afternoon. Panicked because I felt nauseous but the technician said it was ok. I will see the chest consultant next tuesday.

My last episode of gambling has had a profound affect on me. I have felt utter contempt for my relapse and have been shocked at my own self-betrayal. I accept life has it's ups and downs but what I can't accept is my own attempts at self-destruction, through compulsive gambling.

Everyone has challenges to face.I will navigate through them as best I can, with a clear conscience, a smile on my face and hope in my heart.

The road to hell is lined with casinos, betting shops and compulsions to gamble.

The good news is I am now back on the GamCare road with my friends. It is only on this road that I will find my way home. My intention is to embrace the opportunities that come my way and deal with misfortune as best I can.

Love and best wishes to all on the diaries...stephen

Day 3 of my gamble free life.

Feeling super confident, self assured and ready to rock n roll.

Swim and a steam this afternoon. Salsa has been cancelled tonight which is a shame. Going to go swimming at least every other day. Dance twice a week. Get out about when possible and be hsppy and calm.

A challenging few days ahead. My monthly works pension go's in the bank tomorrow and my weekly state pension the day after. Part of me thinks I have a battle on my hands but nobody means me any harm. The staff in the bookies will not be out and about looking for me. The only danger I face is from a little circuitry in my brain which will probably encourage me to gamble. I'm not falling for that again. My gambling days are over.

Love and best wishes to all on the diaries. We don't have to gamble. We make the decisions...Abstainer The Free. x x x

Hey Stephen, just dropping in to add my support to you. Glad you are feeling confident, I really hope your gambling day are over bud, success or setback, we are here. Scott

Hi Stephen - sorry to hear about the relapse but glad that you're back here armed with that rock solid determination to tackle it again. It's great to see you jump right back on to the bucking bronco. It's a challenge but your positive mindset will work wonders. Stick at it buddy - let this stumble just be a stumble, the fight is still very much on.

And best of luck with the scan results next week.

Take care and know we are all here for you, fighting this together.

I know you have us & your Angels but are we enough? Have you turned yourself over to your Higher Power or are you reliant on your willpower? You’ve been in the grip of addiction a very long time & being unwell is incredibly stressful...I really think you would benefit from the real life support you will get from the rooms.

If the gambling devil comes a calling, post your tune & we’ll all crank it up & help drown him out.