Striving for a new normal

Hello only me

Firstly I think you should google one pound of fat and have a look how big it actually is. Losing any amount each week is a win. I wouldn't take what others say as gospel. The sure way to lose weight is you have to take out more than you put in. I recommend an app called my fitness pal all you do is scan your food and add your excersise etc it does the rest. as Rhoda has highlighted if you're now exercising also you'll be adding muscle at the same time. Scales aren't important it's what the tape says is a truer reflection. Stick with it

Deano

I do it by looking at packs of butter, or bags of carrots....half a pound sounds nothing till you think of it as a packet of butter off your belly 🙂

onlyme,

I have read your diary from start to finish in one sitting. What a beautiful person you really are. The story about the woman be-friending you during the tantrum at pres-school, had me in stitches. Personally I would have told her to do one. Nosey old bag. Well done you on getting to where you have done on your journey, be very proud of YOU. Hope things are good in your world.

Julie x

Hi only me congratulations for tomorrow on being one year bet free. Keep up the good work

Deano

Congratulations on the 365 days a great achievement well done

Congratulations on the year x

Wow! Thank you everyone, for the congratulations and the advice 🙂

I don't have time to write much today as the youngest is miserable and not easily entertained but I just want to say don't ever give up, don't give up on being gf, keep trying, read diaries, understand your triggers and work on them and use as many tools as you can, work on yourself, change what needs to change and be brutally honest with yourself, give yourself time to adapt and change, it's not nice and it's not fun but the sky will not fall and the world will not end 🙂

Rhonda, it's taken me a long time to get to the healthy eating stage, I was eating fairly healthy before but in all honesty one meal a day, no matter how healthy, is just not good enough but I now feel ready to tackle that side of things and in the last 9 weeks I've eaten breakfast everyday which is more breakfasts than I've had over the past few years, I don't know if my body....or my husband is in the most shock lol.

Deano I've been logging everything on Fitbit (valentines and early motherdays present), daily deficit has been around the 1000 mark.....but only because I cannot physically eat any more food, 1400 calories goes a very very long way in clean eating.....if only crisps had the same content as broccoli lol. There is so much conflicting information about....eat to your desired weight TDEE, don't eat below your BMR, eat below your BMR, don't eat below 1200....followed very closely by 1200 is maintenance so eat below it! exercise before breakfast so it burns fat, exercise after breakfast so you don't burn out....the list goes on and on, I just want some decent solid advice that is sustainable and realistic....I'm still trying to work out if starvation mode actually exists as according to some it doesn't at all.....others say only when body fat gets to 5%....and then others say yes when the body has too much of a deficit but they don't say how much that deficit has to be to be too much....it's a headache lol.

Jl35, thank you, that's very kind of you to say that, I have realised I have more patience than I give myself credit for but I live safe in the knowledge that it's currently only once a week, unfortunately due to privacy issues I know playschool won't tell me the other days of the week the child is at playschool so I won't be increasing my boys sessions until september when the child moves up to primary school and I can avoid the mother completely lol.

So this has turned out a bit longer than expected, and taken over an hr to type with lots of breaks and cuddles and snack offerings!

But thank you, without you all writing your diaries I wouldn't have inspiration and motivation, being here makes me feel a lot less lonely and scared.

Hope today is being kind to you all 🙂

The sky didn't fall and the world did not end.

Found out why the youngest was miserable.....a stomach bug has decided to move in for a while, the youngest, husband and middle child have been hit with it so far....just myself and the oldest left standing! Sleep has been pretty much nonexistent. But on a good note the husband had an interview last week and has been offered, and accepted, the job. More pay and no callout.....Yay! The middle child has never known his dad not to be on call so will certainly be life changing for him....for all of us really. Things are certainly changing and I'm embracing it all.......but not the stomach bug.....I do not want that!!!! Lol

Hi only time.

Just wanted to say a huge congratulations on your one year's abstinence. I hope you are going to be kind and treat yourself!

Take care and continue doing what you are doing.

Our Lady.

Congratulations on making 400 days. Massive achievement.
Mba

Well, what a whirlwind life has been!

I am here today, 1895 days gamble free. The past 17mths have been some of the most magical (and nerve wracking) months of my life. I took a leap and learnt I could fly, the sky did not fall and the world did not end. 

16mths ago I started volunteering at a school, not to get a job, but to help out. It was something I didn’t know I desperately needed, and wanted. Two weeks later they offered me a part time position, January this year I was made full time. I have the most amazing job, working with some fabulous children and adults. I am humbled every day that the leadership of the school saw something in me that I didn’t know existed, they have invested time and money in my training, they have supported me when I didn’t think I was good enough. My family have listened to me cry tears of frustration, tears of joy and tears of exhaustion. I am sitting here now, exhausted after yet another long day, but at the same time I am excited about tomorrow. This is something I never thought I would say. I used to dread each new day as that would be another day I would gamble, another day I would prove how worthless I was. Now, it’s another day to learn, another day to make a difference, another day i can improve myself, do better, be better. I try not to take the knocks too hard, try to turn then into a positive, turn them into a learning opportunity. 

I still have days I struggle and give my husband my bank cards, which is why I am here this evening. My husband and I were talking about our savings accounts (yes, I’m amazed we have very healthy savings!), I explained how nervous it makes me sometimes as he doesn’t check any of our accounts which is why I show him, to make a point of saying “look it’s all still there”, he told me he trusts me, that I would be more disappointed in myself than he ever could be. I explained I have days of “I could just....” because he wouldn’t know as he doesn’t look. I tried to work out how long it had been, but couldn’t remember so logged on here to be very pleasantly surprised (yet I still feel sick to my stomach) to see that it’s 1895 days. 

I am not here to brag, I am not cured, I am not a different person. I am still me. I still have good days and bad days, I still beat myself up over what I did, I know the damage I could cause if I did it again, I still feel fear (I suppose I should call it anxiety) about having bank cards or seeing a gambling advert. I still feel sick when I check the bank balance even though I know there is nothing there that shouldn’t be there. I have not forgiven myself but I have learnt not to be too hard on myself. 

I am learning to live again, to love myself, to trust myself, to believe in me! 

Inspirational post.Well done on your gamble free period,getting your life together and getting the full time job and thankyou for coming back to update its been great to read.

Thankyou

Lou x

Dear OnlyMe 

Welcome back to the forum. Congratulations on achieving 1895 days gamble-free. I think that what you have overcome is very inspirational to others. We appreciate that at times you still struggle and I want to reassure that we are here if you need any additional support. Please do not hesitate to contact us on our helpline on 0808 802 0133 or our webchat if you need anything further

Kind Regards,

Ricki

Forum Admin