Struggle journal

Thank you both for your support, I have given control of my finances to my husband and it has been that way with internet control with K9. If I am to be honest as will us all there are ways and means around everything and should I want to gamble I can.

I however don't and will not no matter what, the cost of doing this would be too high for me to pay. I love my family and at present keep looking at pictures of my beautiful girls. I will not give in to these urges even if it means I have to look back at what I have written, hold on to my pictures or just cry. Sounds very insecure probably but it is keeping me on the straight and narrow at the moment. I hope you are right Julie that the urges will ease off in time as time is what I have at present 🙂

Day at a time as they say

Hi Amanda - just checking in with you girl - you are doing so so well - the spare money, the loans, the life you want........all of it will come a step closer every day you don't gamble. Handing over your accounts is a huge step - it feels so weird at first and embarrassing, as well as requiring a lot of humility to do. But after a few days it will feel so liberating for you - your partner sounds like a good man - he could be the hero of the well this week - lol!! Watch this space!!

Don't forget to check in this week girl if you haven't already done so!!

Hold your head high Amanda!!

Mr Brightside

Well having a bad couple of weeks for wanting to escape and spending money but somehow am keeping myself from gambling. Keep saying no, and finding the strength to do so.

The light is somewhere but I am afraid I don't see it fully as of yet, it will come in time I should think, the urges and passing them are what is taking over a lot at present.

Day by day, minute by minute I am muddling through, life is greener on the other side - I keep telling myself 🙂

Hey Amanda,

it is indeed greener on the other side, take it easy, don't pressure urself, minute at a time, day at a time..you never alone, and can fight it off girl!!! believe in urself u doing brill 🙂

B kind to urself

S x

Great to see you here Amanda......

Thank you for your post on my diary, we can do this hunni......we ARE doing this 🙂

I haven't been using my diary much lately but I pop in most days for a read and to keep myself motivated....

Mr B's challenge is keeping me on track 🙂

Every single day that goes by without gambling is a victory Amanda......be proud of yourself!

Take care

M x

Hey Amanda,

Just me..........just checking in........and hoping you are doing ok. It seems to have been a tough week for everyone - I'm hoping that you have grown less reliant on the forum and are managing a lot better.

Big number tomorrow!

Take care girl and stay strong

Mr Bx

Well all going good here, must admit when the urges got easier to handle I have found myself getting a lot tighter with money. Unsure how this is happening but on the positive I am saving a lot. Hopefully if I continue can pay off my overdraft in a couple of months and then start looking at my loans. Is this usual after a little time to start watching every penny or am I just trying to throw myself into something again? I am unsure but whatever the case it is a good thing.

I have kept myself busy all the time that I do not have time to think and even when I settle down or have a minute I read or knit.

Anyway all good here and surviving well 🙂

It's just so good to have you on here again Mrs.

That's all I wanted to say......apart from that I'm on that same money mission.....it's exciting!!

Catch up soon and keep going!!

Mr B

Still going well and keeping well. Into the third month of no gambling so very happy. House is a lot happier for it so although still not anywhere near good on the bank score can at least hold my head a little higher. Managed to save and bring downs the overdraft a bit this month which is nice.

Anyhoo all good here and happier with myself.

Hey - just me checking in to see how you are doing and wondering where you've got to - hope all ok Amanda.

Take care,

Mr Bx