(((Jac))) so sweet.
I'm really doing well...on both the gambling and the smoking fronts 🙂
I received a call this weekend that my uncle died...I saw him briefly when he came to visit my mom just before her death (11 years ago)...maybe close to 20 yrs since I've really spent time with him or his children.
At one time, we were all very very close.
When my Mom died, the family kind of fell apart. I see my brother often...that's about it tho.
The funeral was 3 hours away...so I spent a day preparing for the trip (thes three trying to get on without me..HA!)...didn't know if i'd end up spending a night or not...I didn't...I drove there and back yesterday.
I am ok...it was sad...his children were distraught...I remember feeling that way when my Mom died.
There are many many casinos along that drive.
It crossed my mind.
Far from home, etc. etc.
Who would know?
well *I* would know...so...I did a few things...first...thought about my next post...did I really want to come here and say that? then...as I approached the casino exits...called my husband to check in...gave him my estimated time of arrival at my destination (now...I'd have to lie my way out of that somehow) PLUS...I'd probably miss the entire service if I stopped...I know how I am.
I drove right by...no problem...ride home...I really didn't have a thought of stopping..but...just in case...I called husband as I approached that area...told him how long before I'd be home.
Funerals...grief is what allowed me to justify my last relapse...I cannot let that happen again.
I did not.
I was *exhausted* when I got home..only stopped in for a minute before getting to bed.
On the one hand...it doesn't FEEL like that big of a deal...the fact that I didn't stop at the casino's...but my wise self knows that it was...there was a time when I was unable to make that choice.
On the OTHER hand...I am so glad that THIS is the post I am writing today 🙂
5 days out from the 6 month mark 🙂
the smoking is surprisingly easy...especially considering the past few days.
((((Rosemary)))) - what a nice thing for you to say...I really AM enthusiastic...it is my LIFE...so many of our lives are at stake here...I am glad that it shows...hope that others may 'feel' it and find insporation. It can be done.
(((Joy))) am so glad you're back here...I appreciate you sharing your journey with me 🙂
(((Chris))) I've seen your posts around the forum...you sound like you're doing well 🙂 good for you!
No matter what is going on in my life...no matter how bad it feels, gambling will only make it worse.
NO GOOD can ever ever come from me gambling.
Nothing has changed...it never will...the casino only holds pain for me.
(((Jack))) thanks again..hope to see you soon.
Am glad that I'm here...where there is strength and HOPE.
I am not alone.
xoxooxox
Dear Peg
Reading your thoughts and giving us insight into your daily struggles is so uplifting and heartening. Thank you for sharing your battles and triumphs with us. It gives me hope.
Love Lydia X
peg, its so good to see that things are looking up to you, and well done on the smoking, or more particulary not smoking! How i wished i could get that under control, but i think its like everything else - all in good time.
Hi Peg, sorry for your loss but so pleased you were strong enough not to let grief sway you in your quest to continue to stay gamble free.
it must be harder over there as the casino's are open 24/7 and so many of them. You are showing what a strong person you have become.
Thank you for your support and kind words and look forward to more of your posts. Joy x
Hi Peg,
Well done on the quiting the f**s and remaining gamble free, I have been reading through your diary with interest and it along with your kind words and support for me are helping me pick up the peices in my life, i am going to try and give up smoking too soon, got to prepare for it though,
all the best
Ben
it sure is strange how...some days..those thoughts surface...not really urges...more like fleeting thoughts, usually...i'll be driving by a place that i used to 'play' and think..well..maybe??...then...some days the thoughts are more than fleeting...like the drive to and from the funeral services this week...and since then...no thoughts at all...
so...the last few days..i've been going about life just like i am a 'normal' person.
was up all night last night with a sick child..and today was under the weather myself...'normal' mom stuff.
as much as i hate to see them sick...i *do* love being there for them...i wasn't always...even if i was *here* i wasn't happy about it..
we have a busy weekend planned...family things 🙂
i know it won't always be this easy..but it is today...and today is all that any of us have 🙂
love to you
xoxoxo
peg
I hope you can cherish this weekend and enjoy your family "stuff". I lost so much of this and was so ignorant i cant beleive it myself, but these are the things that are so important to us all but are(were) so easily overlooked due to our own selfishness, and these are the things that have a price that money cant buy, sorry im driveling but ive had a few beers!
once again admiring your strength, I hope you truly do feel normal this weekend with your children and enjoy being and being "a normal mom" and a good one too as im sure you are
all the best
Ben
Hi peg
we have a busy weekend planned...family things 🙂
here we are living again, long hot baths, manicures, hair do's and family things. we've spoken before about it being the simple things that give us the most pleasure, i've bought a new top! (have posted so wont fill your diary with it)
i love that we're all here, posting, recovering, living.
you're doing wonderfully peg.
take care, claire xxx
6 months today.
in the beginning..those milestones seems so far away...out of reach...hmmm well, even now...when i hear of people with YEARS of clean time..seems that way..out of reach...
but here's the way I see it... right...6 months is a long time BUT it is going to pass...whether I gamble or not...the next 6 months IS GOING to come and go...I can choose whether or not I am going to fill those days with misery...or live them to the fullest.
Taking it one day at a time...just today...before you know it..those days just string together...weeks, months, years 🙂
they're going to pass regardless of how I choose to live them.
Embrace this moment. It's the only one we have.
xoxo
Well said, and well done Peg.
Hi Peg,
WTG...6 months! 🙂
Thinking of you
Jackie x
hi peg
great news on your 6 months.
Well done and stay strong and focused.
all the best
jim (last bet 22/04/06)
a funny thing.
well, not funny like ha ha funny...funny like strange funny 🙂
a few weeks ago..someone posted here about treating this with meds...and i googled vitamins and gambling..came up with this..
Q: All my life my knees have ached at night. I would use Aleve, arthritis-strength aspirin or Tylenol and usually wake up and have to take more at about 3 a.m.
I read in your column about using turmeric for arthritis pain and I bought some turmeric capsules. I took one with milk and a cookie at bedtime and slept pain-free all night and every night since then. It is almost miraculous.
There is another interesting effect. I used to enjoy playing the slot machines. With video slot machines in bars and restaurants, I was playing the slots once or twice a week. I felt that I was a little too interested in the slots, but I'd still find myself spending more in them than I intended.
Since that first capsule of turmeric, I have had no interest whatsoever in gambling. It was like flipping a switch.
I'd think this was simply an odd coincidence, but I recall reading about a prescription drug with the opposite effect. It triggered a gambling compulsion that went away when the drug was discontinued.
Gambling is hard to kick, so I thought you might be interested in my experience. Turmeric has been a godsend to me on two fronts.
A: We are intrigued with your story. Studies show that turmeric, the yellow spice in curry, has anti-inflammatory activity. We haven't seen any previous indication that it would help against gambling.
on this site: [url= http://tristateneighbor.com/a…news/country_living/news9.txt ] http://tristateneighbor.com/a…news/country_living/news9.txt
I googled gambling and turmeric but didn't come up with anything.....anyway...i thought...what the heck?
(hey...i'm a compulsive gambler...i'm all for the quick-fix...got a pill that will take care of this??? COOL)
so i head to the drug store and i find a mult-vitamin that contains 50 mg turmeric extract.
but then... no way i'm gonna TEST this...so...I'll never really know, will I?
oh well...can't hurt..besides...i could use a muti-vitamin anyway.
so i've been taking it for a few weeks now and i have *been* thinking about the fact that i haven't been online NEARLY as much as I had been (for the past five and a half months) but just today..I wondered if they were somehow related? if perhaps this turmeric had something to do with reducing the need/desire for THIS compulsion????
who knows...but I thought it might be worth mentioning...in the event someone else might want to give it a shot??
that said...
i haven't been keeping up with all of the posts...haven't been on safe harbor so much either...but during the time that I was gambling....not only did I neglect mySELF...but I neglected EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in my life...so I've got some catching up to do 🙂
I still check in daily...just don't do it forty TIMES each day 🙂
off to fix dinner!!!
love to you all.
xoxoxo
Hey peg,
Thanks for the continued support on my diary and a very interesting little clippit on tumeric. Might be worth looking into.
Like you say anything is worth a try to take away the thoughts that lead us into temptation.
Must feel good that you aren't reliant on the support here, but at the same time come back to check everyone is ok.
I hope I will have the same drive and determination a few months down the line, cos I must admit I am a little worried about the 3 months mark as this is when I have noticed most relapsing is occuring.
Anyways, glad to see your continued support to us newbies, it does help, and nice to see you staying strong.
Just for TODAY!!
Ben x x
Hi peg, there might be something in the tumeric theory as I started a few months ago to take Zioban which is an anti depressant. Aparently not much cop for what it was intended but those on it that were smokers, reported back they had lost interest in smoking?
Unfortunately at the time I started to take it I was moving house and got very stressed. The doctor said it probably wasnt the right time and I now intend to take it again starting on Monday.
Even if it is all in the mind who cares if it works? the end result is what counts.
Looking out the window and it is getting sunnier out. Quite dull earlier, am off to my local college as I am my daughters guinea pig for cellulite treatment!! first she puts this sucking machine on all over, then freezing cold pads over the legs which send electric pulses. Am having this for 4 weeks so will let you all know if it works!!!
Might help if I start a diet too though, otherwise will have smooth skin and still be looking like Mrs Blobby.heheheh
hugs to you Peg Joy x
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