The bear the last diary no more.

Day 2 arrrggghhhh sounds horrible although better than day 1 no gambling today.

The bear x

Day 3 thoughts of gambling are in the air of course this is the tough stage again first couple of weeks always are have good day everyone x

The bear x

Keep fighting bear,u will get there.

Avoiding that 1st bet no matter how big or small is the key.

Keep them blocks in place mate.

Losing the plot spent day having a bet won 300 back sitting here feeling very low want to stop the thoughts and me acting on it need to make new plan of action :-

The bear x

Bear

fella it is the true sign of madness to do something over and over that is destructive.

The thing that you give in equal measure is the want to come back here, and face your addiction.

For me you have to ask yourself the question

Does the bear want to stop gambling?

Do you gamble to feel like a winner, a feeling I know only too well. The feeling that if I left it a loser then that would be the thing tha tthe world would judge me on.

That today I know is just addiction talking, it goads you in, telling you it will be different this time.

I asked the same question to another author recently.

Why are you gambling to win??

What is your ultimate goal?? is there an out figure, a point were you will be satisfied, and walk away??

Because for me there was never an out goal, give me a five figure win, I would beat myself up, it was not a six figure win!!

The money was just the fuel, there really was no point to my mindless gambling in the end, it just beat me up, emotionally tortured me, actually the wins more than the losses.

Funny we deal with the losses quickly dont we?? forget and move on to the next episode.

If the answer to the first question was Yes,you the bear want to stop, you have to consider the way to do it best.

For me the triangle

Time-Money-Location take one away the punt impossible, you gift yurself time, a great deal of time, time to embrace life, live it without the emotional termoil.

I gambled to within one day of losing more than money fella, I was one day from losing the lot.

Embrace recovery, it is to be enjoyed.

My friend never give up, believe in yourself

Duncs.

Hi Bear

You can turn this around but you need to have a plan for the next period of time and stick to it. This is going to turn into another disaster your honesty is to be admired now you have to do this for your partner and unborn baby it took me awhile to learn this but you can do it. Forget about the money think about how up and down your moods are in this traumatic period for your partner. It will suck the joy out of life and take memories yet to be from you.

Michael

Hello m8

Sorry to hear about this lapse, i really thought your CBT was leading you to the promise land ! try to rethink where it went wrong and learn from it, then move on again !

Here for you, Dark Place

That's enough done a thousand pounds I look at my girlfriend sleeping with my unborn baby that is enough........

enough is never enough for a gambler.... because tomorrow is always another day....

God knows i know it so well, i will pray for you and myself, we need divine intervention because i have started gambling again this morning.

i am sick to the stomach with it.

Bear,

Please get yourself together..You are worth so much better than this disgusting habit..

YOU can make things change. Stop, and look ahead, your dreams, family, all you need in this world. You are worth happy times to come, you will not find it in a punt...

Please be kind to yourself

Strength to you

Keep posting and venting it all out

Sandra x

Thank you Sandra disgusting habit it really is spent the last few days locked in my phone should be concentrating on my girlfriend feel awful this morning how it grips so quickly is scary I start my fight again today day 1 not giving up never need to find nice me again he gets lost in gambling and wastes my life whoever is thinking of having a bet or gamble after being clear for a while all I can say is dont you will end up in the gutter it's not nice 🙁

The bear x

On my newborns life I stop on this day the 16/12/2013 yep big words from me but something i will never go against or his life will be ruined,I can't go on,suicidal is a big word but can see how people get there managed to lose a thousand pounds and it has hurt me a lot this is the only way to stop its the only thing I love enough to quit this habit I won't gamble again.

The bear

Hey bear - I'm hoping that this note finds you winning your day 1 fight - this time last Monday I was sitting down with the people I have lied to for years about my addiction and hidden all of my losses from. I split from my wife earlier this year and that meant movin out out of the house......and losing that every day, every night feeling I had with my 3 year old daughter - it breaks my heart every night I go to bed. Having lost over £600 last Sunday on a FOBT I realised that the only way I would get that back was by admitting to myself and those I love that it wasn't just mental health issues I was suffering from and the reasons for it, but it was also that gambling had taken control of a lot of my life and the things it was driving me to do. Suicide is a big word - but it has an even bigger impact - I lost my wee brother to it in 2009 and it continues to have an impact in all of our lives 5 years on. If it wasn't for the devastation it caused I think I may have been there myself.

So.......you have a fantastic motivation to beat this, you have so much to live for, you have support in all of us to get it off your chest and boy, what a feeling it will be when you can look back on today and know that your new life, free of the pain, guilt, torment, self loathing.........and look at your pride and joy son and see the joy you bring him and see and hear of how proud he is of his amazing dad - that's you mate.

I'm 8 days on the journey on a new road having been 25 years going the other way.......and I'm no where near through the worst of it.......but I'm gettin closer every day to the best of it and I still long to be there.

We can do this mate.

Take care,

Mr Brightside

Hi Bear

You need to get yourself clear of anything that sends you gambling till you can do it yourself. You can do this but you need to get yourself away from where you are now. Remember you can do this but at the moment the gambling juice is still in you. You need to detox and then you can be sure of your decisions.

Michael

Thank you mr bright side for that post a lot of meaning in there I will use as my strength and thanks michael the juice is still in me but I won't gamble again after what I said yesterday day 1 here feeling horrible about what I've done stupid boy oh well can't change the past just the future just today I won't gamble have good day everyone.

The bear x