The end

Great effort 73 days no easy task keep doing what your doing its working and it great to hear you sounding so happy and positive about it

Hello gamcare.

I just joined the chatroom here for the first time, i was really pleased that i managed to get in there. It is nice to have somewhere to come to talk. I am still gamble free but really struggling with wanting to gamble today. I am unsure as to how i keep wanting to go after the amount of pain and heartache i have gone through with this addiction yet it still calls to me. I must be mad.

Tangled

Tangled

My second diary entry for the day. Just to say i am not gambling. I cannot believe it. I thought i was gone. I have urges but they are not defeating me, they are only urges right.

Tangled web wrote:

Tangled

My second diary entry for the day. Just to say i am not gambling. I cannot believe it. I thought i was gone. I have urges but they are not defeating me, they are only urges right.

It depends Tangled. Compulsive gambling can be the same as an alcoholic in addiction.

Have you thought about counselling gamcare?

I guess i have not thought of counselling but i have joined the chat room today, i was very happy to be there at exactly the right time even though it was the end of the meeting. I hope to meet some of you in there at the next one.

Tangled web wrote:

I guess i have not thought of counselling but i have joined the chat room today, i was very happy to be there at exactly the right time even though it was the end of the meeting. I hope to meet some of you in there at the next one.

You probably will. I attend the chat room pretty regulary.

Thank you triangle for your reply. I am hoping to make this year a gamble free one. It is my priority over anything else and it really has to be, gambling for me became very serious. I have to look at my gambling as life or death, thats what im gambling with in reality. Its no fun, its not entertainment, it went way beyond that. I have to always remember the seriousness of this addiction. Once i start gambling it is like a snowball, i cannot stop it. I go completly out of control and there is nothing i can do to stop it, so i am trying really hard not to start again. It was ugly what happened last time i had a relapse and extremely frightening. I am so scared of going back. I dont know how to trust i wont after so many times of promising and failing.

Hi Tangled just been reading through your posts, you're doing fantastic! Pleased your finding your way round chat room, it's good to be able to talk to other people. Take care. Wcid

Hi Tangled

Just wanted to say a big well done to you. You deserve it!

You are right - an urge is just an urge and these are normal to have. Its how we deal with these urges that are important. Having them is ok. Acting on them can be catastrophic as we all well know.

Take care and remain strong.

Feb.

Tangled web wrote:

Thank you triangle for your reply. I am hoping to make this year a gamble free one. It is my priority over anything else and it really has to be, gambling for me became very serious. I have to look at my gambling as life or death, thats what im gambling with in reality. Its no fun, its not entertainment, it went way beyond that. I have to always remember the seriousness of this addiction. Once i start gambling it is like a snowball, i cannot stop it. I go completly out of control and there is nothing i can do to stop it, so i am trying really hard not to start again. It was ugly what happened last time i had a relapse and extremely frightening. I am so scared of going back. I dont know how to trust i wont after so many times of promising and failing.

Welcome, and it was great to see you on the chat last night. All being well, i'll be on there later.

WDID, Feb and Triangle thank you so much i am so pleased to have met you in chat and i am looking forward to being there again. The days are adding up for me and i am excited about it. The urges are still there and I am still trying to keep going and getting busy when they come. It is hard to keep going, when they hit but i just know that i cant go back there. You know what i think to myself, i think well if i did it today why would tomorrow be any different, if i can get through today why wouldnt i be able to get through tomorrow. I hope its my rockbottom the last time. Ive said it so many times before. i really hope i never go back its so serious for me now when i gamble that its risking my life. I want a life, i want to live and i just want the simple things in life.

Hi T , Nice feeling isn't it my friend having our live's back ?, all the best with your continued success, one day at a time !

Take care buddy and well done !

Thanks Alan It is a good feeling to be gamble free. I have hit the 90 day mark and though i have relapsed in the past i am treating this is as new recovery and a fresh start. So i will be counting the days, which i am glad there is a counter here that does it for me. I can be lazy!

I didnt think that i would make it as i have had a lot of thoughts of gambling but getting past christmas and new year had been a huge challenge and i am past it, breathing a sigh of relief. I have also discovered the chat room here which i am thrilled about. Thank you all here for your support and i am learning to get around to your diaries.

Tangled Web

Thanks Alan

Great that things are working for you T and that the chatroom helps , keep racking up those days my friend !

Best wishes Alan

Another day gamble free and i am so happy about it. the urges are finally starting to fade, they were really really biting. I am hoping that if i just keep doing what i am doing that they will lessen over time. Its strange how all of a sudden it changes so quickly my resolve and i think i iwll never go again to thinking crazy thoughts and almost going again