the end of the road, a new start on the way

Hi ands,

Slowly does it.......in my early days on here I literally had to take my recovery hour by hour, this then went to day by day. Give yourself time ands. Time is a great healer.

You can beat this if you really want to.

Jas x

Hi ands,

I guess we all express emotions in different ways, but it is very "normal" for your emotions to be all over the place right now in these early days. I felt very similar in my first week, it's a big moment, and the change in habit makes us feel quite uneasy about things.

But you are doing great, like the bit about spending time with your kids instead of gambling, that was a big thing for me too.

Keep strong and it will all be ok in the long run, as jas said take it slowly - that's why my diary was called "Steady as She Goes!".

All the best.

Weldy

Hi ands,

I don't know about you but I find that after a good cry I feel so much better. For us humans tears is actually natures way of dealing with many of the negative emotions we experince. Crying is actually a good thing in my opinion but perhaps like you I was brought up in a household where there was seldom any tears or much visible emotion at all so I internalised that as normal. I learnt to surpress emotion but it always finds an outlet and for me it was in gambling.

For me its a big thing in recovery to try and respond to my feelings in more appropriate ways.. and crying is actually the direct and most appropriate reponse. Ive also cried on a tube train and nobody batted an eyelid. why would they? .. anonymous cities everyone with a public face minding their own buisness. I guess the thing is finding that safe space to feel the feelings.

Sorry for going on a bit.. keep working your recovery one day at a time. For me the craving to gamble did lessen with time but it did take time. Withdrawal symptoms a very real phenomenon in gambling addiction just like any other addiction, in my opinion. Keep safe... S.A 🙂

hi ands,

like weldy Say's, it is normal, the change for us at the start is massive, i felt lost, even with family good friends etc, i can only speak from my experience but after a couple of weeks emotions were much better, tears are good, we need to let go of the gambling and I'm sure most of us here have shed more than a few on our roads to recovery.

Keep occupied, stay focused and soon the emotions will ease I'm sure.

well done so far your on the right road keep going mate x

green x

Ands

Thanks for your post, have a gamble free weekend with your boys, you deserve it and well done.

DT

Day 5 saturday, the norm would be for the boys to go childminders and me to the arcade for the day. But not this saturday about to go shopping then taking boys swimming and pizza. Have the urge to gamble but im not going too. Very emotional again today, but kinda happy with myself.

Does gambling realy supress our feelings?

Hope you all have good weekend!

Hi ands,

Hope you having a good day with the boys. They sound so sensitive and loving, giving their daddy hugs when he's crying 🙂 Make sure you stress to them that they are good boys, havent done anything wrong, and its not their fault you feel sad - its just kids tend to blame themselves for everything! My sister in law had a sudden bereavement a few years back, and their youngest boy is very sensitive. He kept clinging to his mummy, and you could see he was worried she was cross cos she was crying. He was fine, but needed reassuring that he hadnt done anything wrong.

Enjoyed chatting to you guys too, and if im a sweetie it takes one to know one 🙂

You are doing great, and keep letting those feelings come out - I realised yesterday I was pushing a lot of feelings deep down with the gambling, and they have to come out.

Freda x

Ands

Well done for today, everyone can change and you are proving that. Don't worry about the crying, you have been suppressing a lot of emotion for a long time, it will stop.

I am pleased your boys have their dad back.

Sorry, made you cry again.

DT

Morning Ands,

Well done...day 6 already. Slowly does it eh! One day at a time my friend. In my early days I used to go 1 hour at a time and then half a day, then a day....now no gambling for Jas since 23.4.09 (nearly 11 weeks) If I can do it anyone can.

You say you have two good friends ands......have you shared your problem with them. You need support to help you through this and to enable you to express your emotions.

Enjoy your time with your boys...walking by the river sounds so lovely. You are lucky to have a river by you!

Thinking of you......Jas xx

You are really going through the mill, arent you! The craving should start to calm down a bit, but they will be there for a long time.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. I found at first, being able to do nice things like go shopping with a friend, or having plenty of food in the house, didnt feel that good. I was comparing them to gambling, so they couldnt compete. I would resent not gambling and think 'whats the point if Im not even appreciating these things?' That changed after a couple of weeks, and i did start to enjoy things again.

I think it felt like having a bereavement - i was grieving for losing that part of my life. Coming to terms with having to let it go. I still have the occasional lapse, but I think ive accepted that i cant have gambling in my life anymore.

Try to be patient, the acceptance will come.

Freda x

Hi ands,

Well done so far, and trust in the fact that if you continue with this, things will get better, they are not getting any worse.

When I started my recovery, I just felt that I wanted the days to pass by quickly, because the upset and the magnitude of the problems were just too near in my memory. But gradually, as things improve, that time does pass. Just concentrate on the here and now, and make the smallest of changes, these then start to have some results and you will begin to feel better and stronger.

Keep going, and time will begin to heal the wounds, slowly but surely.

Weldy