the end of the road, a new start on the way

Hi Ands,

Happy New Year to you and Yours.

Jim

Happy 2010 Andrew and boys. Hope you are all ok?

Jas xx

Day 194 i think. anyway im still gamble free and back to work tomorrow!!!

Thanks to all who have posted on my diary it actually brought a tear to my eye, nothing new there tho, lol.

Had a realy great emotional christmas, euro disney was fab, my boys were loud and very excitable..Had food, pressies and the love of my sons, what more could i want??? im content with my life. Up at 4.30 am christmas day boys opened pressies then i done a good old fry up for brekkies..Had a realy realy great time. Eurodisney made me cry my sons so sweet they loved it, the parade is unforgetable, cold tho, lol!

Snow has been fun and feel sad its all over for another year, the one thing i missed was my family, not even a card or just a call to say happy christmas...... But hey me and my sons are ready for a year of happiness i hope, free from fruit machines which bought me so much misery and pain........i look forward to a year where i dont steal and dont be a disgusting piece of s**t, cos i was and that will be with me til i die, the regrets always seem to be in the back of my mind, bad choices i have made, things i have done just to gamble.

ERRRR enough of that!!!

Happy new gamble free year to you all.

Ands xx

Hi ands,

really glad you enjoyed your holiday! sounds like you all had fun 🙂

I had sadness about family things too over Christmas, and I recognise that feeling of regret you talk about. Its hard to come to terms with the things we've done that we don't like. Wish you could go back and edit history!

Glad you are looking forward though. Im trying to, too.

Take care,

f x

ps - you are sweet too 🙂 xx

Hi Ands,

Glad you had a great Christmas I knew you would - well done you deserve it.

I have plenty of regrets too, but too late to worry and no point I suppose....

All we can change is the future.... that is enough for me.

Keep it going pal, you have worked really hard at this and I am impressed.

Cheers, Jim

Hi Ands,

Sounds like you really enjoyed xmas with your boys. Sounds like your looking forward to the future. You come along way in a short space of time.. keep it up! .. cheers S.A 🙂

Really pleased you had a good time mate! The boys, ahhh, good stuff. As for the other miserable lot, ahem, the rest of your family, what a cold bunch of plonkers they are. Missing out on you and those kids. Their lose and someday they may well come to regret it

Anyway, just dwell on how far you have come. The past is the past. You are a very different guy now that you have the " illness " under control. Forgive yourself buddy, you are now in a different place. Pleases me :)..

Day 200 i think, anyway i have not gambled!

Have routines in my life, my job and my sons, gambling urges come and go but guess they always will. I know i can never act on them, i have good and bad days but guess thats life! Still on the anti ds but i believe they are helping......life would certainly be worse and demoralising if i was still gambling, i hit my rock bottom some time ago and the only way is up and slowly but surely i am on the up. lol!

thank you as always for your posts, ands

200 days! HUGE achievement, well done you!

ands you are such a fighter. You have bounced back better than most could you know. You are very strong mister!

Take care,

f x

Hi Ands,

Good to see you are staying so strong. You were a little quiet in chat tonight and I was a little worried about you. Those urges to gamble are vile but we just don't need the gambling s**t in our lives anymore.

Jas x

Well done on the double century = Awesome!

Just to say hi mate. 200 days. Proud.

Day 209, i have not gambled!!

Work going ok boys are happy and life continues, urges come and go but i will not gamble, not today nor tomorrow! Have good and bad days but thats life.

Thankyou for your posts, dont post as much nowadays i pop into chat now and again just as a reminder that i can never get complacent, and i wont.

Gambling urges may always be there its living with them and not acting on them, i am confident that i can resist the urges as my sons will always come first.....

take care all, ands

Hi Ands

Nice one mate, so glad to see some kind of normality return to your life, gambling just screws us up hey. take care mate.

Blooming well proud of you my friend. Ya made of tough stuff.