the end of the road, a new start on the way

Hey Ands,

Hope all is good, gambling free is gonna make it better whatever else is going on.

Thanks for your support - keep it going pal.

Thanks, Jim

Thanks as always for your posts!!

Popping in for my dose of gamcare, still gamble free and all in all life is on the up. Since giving up my disgraceful gambling addiction, i am getting to learn who the real me is!!! Its so nice having a normal life without the thiefing, lying and general dishonesty which imho comes with this s**t addiction.

As for my parenting that too has improved so much, got glowing reports from the school on my sons general progress. The depression has lifted from last year and i am now of all meds including the sleepers.

My general health has also improved considerably since quitting gambling, much better diet now.

My sons no longer look like tramps, nor do i now, even got nice haircut, lol! Remeber the days well walking round in shoes which are literally falling apart, jacket which was so manky and now i think what a tramp i used to be.

I like reminding myself what life was like when gambling and i have no intentions to go back down that road!!!

take care ands, last gamble 09 sept 2009

You get out of life, what you put in... To my boys love you both always and forever.

Well diary, have always been honest on here and after 17 months gamble free i have well and truly f***** up!

For the past 2 days i have gambled, took boys school jumped on train and went miles away, got my mates daughter to pick my boys up whilst i sat at a fruit machine, Reel Kings done sicky at work and have blown 1600 quid!!!!! The money i have been saving for a holiday for the summer.

So ashamed of myself, have realy let my sons down and need to get a grip.

All that work down the f*****g drain, and boy i have honestly tried so f*****g hard.

There's something f*****g wrong with me, sad b*****d.

To those who follow my progress....SORRY

Ands at least your honest...17 months is rapid progress from your darkest days...dont turn it into a binge though... its very much a case of we cant win cause we cant stop..one thing to take from this is we must ALWAYS be on our guard..small consolation but thanks for sharing..it could happen to ANY of us....youre in my thoughts.

Hi ands... sorry to hear about your gambling. I know from my own experinces how hard it is to come back and acknowledge a relapse especially after a long period off it. But its like wp says... you have been honest and by acknowledging what has happened to the world you have also drawn a line under it. 17 months is a very good acheivement. Its not like its back to the beginning.

Now is the time to get back on the recovery boat and take the middle seat. Remember that we can never go back to the days when it was juts a bit of fun. It always will be straight back to the deep end. Onwards and upwards and forwards one day at a time. Keep safe.. S.A

I'm new here and this is only day 1 for me but anyone who can do 17 months to me is a real inspiration. 17 months! If you did it once you can do it again and beat even that for sure.

My friend. I am sorry. I think I know you well enough to know you will beat yourself up.

I am sending you an e-mail.

Still proud of you.

Oh Ands mate,

So, so sorry to hear that you have gone and been sucked into the dark, dark world of gambling.

But only briefly, eh? Please, please don't let this be the start of a massive downfall for you.

Think of your boys. Do this again for them. Think of all the lovely times you have had with them in the last 17 months.

You may feel rubbish now but time is a great healer. Be lucky that you have such lovely boys. I, and others on here, am still single and gambling has stopped me from having a family of my own.

You also have your health.

Many thanks for being honest with us, it just goes to show that we must all be very, very aware that one tiny bet will lead to a lot more.

Just one slip, eh mate, now start again and go for a lot more than 17 months gamble free. You can do it!

Hope you feel better tomorrow, as I said, time is a great healer and your boys depend on you.

GT

I'm thinking of you Ands. So sorry to hear what's happened. Pick yourself up and start again. Take care. Russ

Thanks for your posts!

Today i will not gamble.

The tears roll again and the reality of what i have done makes me feel physically and emotionally sick.

******.

Hi ands,

just caught up on your diary. Im sorry you have had a set back mate. All of your hard work is not undone, just some of it 🙂

Yes, it will set you back, but not to the beginning. Setbacks happen. Goodness knows I've had plenty myself.

Don't give up giving up.

Take care,

f x

Hello ands,

I understand that following previous lapses you have been very hard on yourself, so this time you have an opportunity to try a more compassionate approach with yourself.

As you know, you are welcome to use the helpline and Netline for emotional support, as and when you feel like it.

I just wanted to share some information about self-compassion, which might be interesting for you to browse.

http://www.self-compassion.or…ments_of_self_compassion.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-compassion

http://www.scimednet.org/wired-for-compassion/

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com…rges/?partner=rss&emc=rss

Take care,

Adam.

Hi Ands

Really sorry to hear about your slip mate. But they happen, its how we react that counts. You may not be able to take your boys on holiday now but that doesn't matter. what they want is the non gambling dad they've had for the last 17 months, that is a lot better than any holiday. My thoughts are with you mate.

take care, and try not to be too hard on yourself (and I know thats a lot easier said than done!)

Thanks for your posts, i have not gambled today.

My heart goes out to DaveP

ands

Today i did not gamble, nor will i tomorrow!

ODAAT time i will better the 17 months and this time around i am not going to count the days.

Realy did think i had this addiction cracked, but pressures of life just got to me, No excuses but my brain can justify my slip up but my heart cant and never will!

At least i stay true to myself and i yes i will beat myself for a little longer then that will pass i guess. silly sod!