the end of the road, a new start on the way

Ands

Thanks for your support g****y.

DT

Cheeky, lol!!! take care my friend. andrew (you dont get a kiss).

Ands,

Good.

DT

Day 14, DT you have just made me laugh thank you, i have not gambled today.

Work was hard and stressful but the day is over and i did not gamble. Did not cry at work today, but on the way home the flood gates just seem to open, why i dont know. Picked my boys up at 5pm straight from work, cooked them dinner and then done my ironing for tomorrow.

Had some nastey verbal abuse at work which i took on the chin as i deserved it. I have stolen £1700 from work and i will be paying this back in instalments starting next pay day. I am a lucky man the police where not involved! I will never steal again, i have learnt my lesson, used to be such a thief, food, money etc...........i am ashamed of this but i have realised now that i can not change what i have done. So i will change and i will not gamble or steal again.

Have wednesday of work, social services will be here at 10am to see me, so worried about this (that is a understatemnet) scared shitless.

take care all ands

Ands,

Well done for today, I have some idea how hard that was for you. All your friends on here knew you would do it and you did.

I can't begin to imagine how nervous you are about wednesday, but believe me when I say that you can do it. When you don't gamble you are a good person, when you do, you are a fool, just like each one of your supporters on here. We have all made mistakes, some massive, some small, but all we can do now is be honest and look forward to a life without gambling.

You are doing brilliantly and are an inspiration to me and doubtless many others.

DT

Hi ands,

just popping by, pleased to see the day's are becoming weeks gamble free.

I know you have a tough day ahead of you, hope all go's OK with the visit, I'm sure it will.

will be thinking about you, keep going the journey in life and recovery is a difficult one, your doing great with the boys and your recovery, keep going and be strong.

green x

I did not gamble today - gambling realy is not on my mind tho, had a long grueling day. Feel pretty down, sick and tired, tomorrow will make or break me that im sure. Have nothing realy to add today, just not feeling too good! Hope all my recovery buddies are ok and had a good gamble free day. Take care all, you are in my thoughts! ands x

Hi mate,

Thanks for the post, your words are always welcome on my diary, and don't worry about rambling feel free to ramble away, it's what this place is for.

like you say tomorrow is going to be a tough day, tough days make us who we are, and you ain't half had some tough days of late, try and take these days as your strength to enjoy the days that will come, the better days ahead, gambling free.

all the best mate.

green x

Day 16, Wednesday has finally come, feel very worried, tired and pretty emotional. I will hold it together and whatever happens today i will not gamble, lie, steal or be dishonest in anyway. I will post my outcome later, i bet there are people on this forum who frown upon me for what i have done in the past and have little sympathy, which i understand. But i am changing for the better and i will get through this no matter what.

Take care all and hope you all have a good gamble free day. ands

Good luck with today Andrew , hope all goes well for you.

they running late, thanks mancity.

Ands,

I hope that everything goes ok today. Your ex-gambling friends are all rooting for you.

Speak later.

DT

Also sending out best wishes to you.

Thanks to everyone who has given me so much support and caring, thoughtful posts on my diary. So grateful, could not have got this far without you guys and gals.......thanks so much.

Well they have been and gone, I, yes me. will be picking my boys up from school and bringing them HOME!!!

It was a battering and i have never felt so ashamed in all my life, but it's over for now, they be back in few weeks to check that i have food and that i am NOT GAMBLING.

I am so f*****g relieved and happy!!!

Because they have no concerns that i neglect my children in amyway, they will LIVE WITH ME!!!

This is my final chance, no more gambling, no more stealing and no more being dishnoest. This has been a realy hard few weeks, like for many on this forum (DT my heart goes out to you mate¬).

Gambling has nearly cost me everything, this has been a lesson that i will learn from. Social worker had a CRB check on me and it was unpleasant reading, i have been a thief for along time. It became the norm get paid then within 2 days i would be skint again. So i would nick food and money or borrow it and never pay it back cos i was always skint. This became a part of my life which i am very ashamed about.

I realy cant afford to gamble again ever!!...........if i do my sons will go into care, and i'll be lucky if i see them at all. They would also more than likely be seperated, f*****g horrible thought....... back to work tomorrow, gonna go sit by the river now and have a good cry. Have not slept or eaten properly for a couple of weeks and when i get the urge to gamble im gonna read my diary, its a stark scarey reminder what gambling has done to me.

Thanks again for all the support. ands x