the end of the road, a new start on the way

Ands,

So pleased for you and your boys, without gambling you can have a life and you will. Congratulations. Your post made me cry I was so pleased to read it. Am big P**f myself sometimes.

DT

Wooooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooo, I am so pleased. Ands mate, this is the second chance. I had one of those and didn`t blow it and you need to do the same. Great idea, when you get an urge just read that last post of yours.

Everyone deserves a second chance. Speak soon.

I have been keeping you and your boys in my thoughts and prayers. Thank goodness you have the result you deserve. Things are on the up and up for ands, you brave soul.

Now dry those tears you "big girls blouse"......you need to smile now, after all you have something to smile about.

Very proud of you............Jas xx

Hi ands,

great news about you and the boys, so glad it's all working out, the rest will fall into place i'm sure.

Try and get some good food inside you mate, and a good sleep may help, now things are getting better.

keep going mate, life is good, lets enjoy it.;-)

green x

Green, DT, Freda, Jas, SA, Mancity, DD, Ginny, Weldy, Graham...............The biggest THANKYOU to you all, you have made me cry lol! I could never have got through the last 16 days without the caring, thoughtful support you have all given me. Your all very special to me and have no idea how you have changed my life for the better. love you all, im a soppy ******, x x x x

I sat down by the river and cried for about an hour, then went to get my boys from school, gave them the biggest hug and they both looked so embarrassed, bless them both. Theyr'e watching the cartoons before they go bed, im such a lucky man, took my boys for granted and let gambling take over my life, what a ****** ive been. I dont know if i deserve this second chance but believe me im not going to ruin it.

I have never felt so emotionally drained in all my life, feelings of happiness, sadness, kinda anger at myself and boy im ashamed, when i started my diary i thought i could do everything in a week and everything would be ok. I was incredibly nieve and i got it so very wrong, i know im a long way of ridding gambling out of my life for good and i still have alot of work to do. But from now honesty to others and myself is going to be top priority from now onwards.

Take care all, your all great. andrew x x

Phew, thank God for that!!! I have been thinking about you lots and even bought your situation up to a mate of mine who refuses to stop gambling despite risking similar to the situation you found youself in. I am so delighted for you I can't really explain. If any man should ever lose his children , you are a million miles away from ever being that man. Throughout your early battle to stop gambling they have always been at the forefront of your mind. It's hard enough trying to stop without all this s**t as well. Your a fantastic Dad and like Graham said we all deserve another chance especially your sons who would not known what had hit them had it all gone wrong.

Just for today and tomorrow and all that we do not gamble. Can you win two boys at the bookies I doubt it. Take care and try to sleep well tonight after everything you have been through. A good nights sleep you certainly deserve. Tomorrow gives fresh challenges I am sure you will rise to them.

Cheers

Ands

Just read your post and want to say I'm made up for you today. It's fantastic news.

You are well on the road to your new life with your boys who I'm sure are very proud of their dad.

Keep going mate you will get there.

David

Hi Ands

Jut wanted to say that I have been reading through your diary yesterday and this morning, when I read about the social workers I found myself thinking 'please give him a chance!' and I felt so relieved for you when I saw that it went ok. I don't know if that sounds weird because I have only just joined?!

I am so incredibly impressed with your honesty, I can't even imagine how much courage that took. I hope one day that I will have the courage too.

Thank you for posting your diary, I can relate to the stealing, something I am also not proud off, I stole money from my own brother / partner / parents, I'm pretty sure this is the first post that I have admitted this in.

I feel really overwhelmed (in a good way!) by how much this site is helping me and by how much people support each other.

Take care and stay strong

xxxx

Day 17, i will not gamble today, slept alittle better last night. Im bit of an emotional mess today, feel wiped out.

take care all and hope you all have good day. ands

Good Morning Ands,

Have a good day, you are on your way now.

Stay strong.

DT

I went to work this morning only to find my things boxed up, my boss realy apoligetic but i have basically been sacked. A petition was drawn up without my knowledge by all my work colleagues and they simply can not work with me anymore, they simply dont trust me or like me. I get paid til the end of the month and have to pay £100 per month, for the money i have stolen. 9 years i was in that job, gutted, but its my fault.

i am going for an assessment for counselling on tuesday next week at the clapham office.

Life's bit of rollercoaster ride, up and down, makes me feel sick. Had a realy good day yesterday and today find myself out of my job. So now im unemployed for the first time in 19 years, have always worked and i enjoyed my old job. So gutted, but i have my beautiful boys so im incredibly thankful for that.

Hi Ands,

Have just caught up with your diary and I'm a little buffetted by the raw emotions that it portrays.

That's a right blow about the job, after such a big relief yesterday.

Just take things easy, it's going to be difficult, but you have made such a huge change to your life and such a change for the better.

I'm sure that all your friends on here will join me in saying if we can do anything to help then just ask.

You can and will get though all of this.

Keep the head up high, don't look back, only forward.

Weldy

Andy, hi again. What a blow, so sorry to hear this latest bad news but at the end of the day it is not so important as those 2 boys.

Make sure that you get whet you are entitled through from the benefits system and if you have to put the £100 a month on the back burner then that`s what will have to happen.

You are having a tough time but it will get better. I know it`s easy for me to say bit without gambling in your life you will find that it will.

So sorry Andy,

I just do not know what to say. you are really going through the mill. Only practical advice is make sure you get a good written reference from your boss ASAP. If u have been there for 9 years then surely current events won't cloud you bosses judgement on a good reference.

Chin up , look forward not back , easy for me to say, but you will come out of this stronger in the long run.

Ands,

Can't believe what life throws at us because we were gamblers, I am sure after today's news you feel the same.

Try not to take it personally, I have learnt in a very short space of time that most people do not care at all about the mess we have made, they only care about themselves.

Fortunately some people do care and the support and encouragement you receive on here tells you that you are not a bad person. Without gambling you are capable of anything, so I hope and prey for some good news for you and your boys.

I am thinking of you at yet another testing time.

DT