the end of the road, a new start on the way

Hi Ands,

Sorry to here the bad news mate, you ain't half havin a rough time mate. Life throw's these things at us mate, i don't know why, wish i did. Personally i ain't sure if it's to test us, if it's fate or as i'm beginning to think more each day it's just life.

The important thing now is how you deal with things, like mancity say's get some good references. Most important of all keep the strength you have found these past two weeks and use it to help you move forward, You have come a long way my friend and it shows true strength that even with all the s**t thats going on, your remaining gamble free and staying positive.

You have the best thing in the world mate your boys, stay strong for them and keep moving forward.

catch ya soon.

green x

Thanks for all your supportive posts.

I am realy trying to keep it together, feel kinda hurt and dejected. Never have i been sacked before, humiliating and demoralising. Feel wrecked emotionally and mentally, had to phone the gamcare no. today for a little support. Gotta get through this, but its hard. one thing after another, not alot going right.

Just so glad i have my sons, without them i am worthless and life would not be worth the struggle.

I have not gambled today, the thought of gambling actually makes me feel physically sick. this is where i am today.

Take care all and thanks for all your support again, do i actually deserve it tho???

dont think so...... ands

Ands

Sorry to read the bad news about you losing your job. I am gutted for you.

You can and will pick yourself up from this.

All of us on here have messed up to varying degrees and with varying consequences. But please take heart from the fact that you have recognised the root cause of all your current problems and are doing all the right things to address that problem.

You are doing really well in your efforts to

beat your gambling addiction and if you carry on doing so things will change for the better for you.

As far as deserving the support from all of us on here, I cannot think of a more worthy member than yourself at the present time.

Best

David

Hey Ands,

Havent read your posts for the last couple of days, but was really concerned how distressed you seemed in chat tonight.

Im a bit wobbly myself today, so going to catch up with what is going on for you in a day or two. Im in one of those moods where if I hear bad news I will just worry.

Im so sorry things are so bad for you just now, and want you to know i will be thinking of you.

Keep letting it all out. Whether its in chat, your diary, or netline.

You're not alone Ands, together we are all strong xxx

Andy,

Never consider yourself not deserving of people's thoughts and care.

Everyone, like you, came here seeking help and we all found some help and comfort. This site will by no means sort out all our life's problems but it will help in addressing a few. As determined David said you really deserve all the help we can offer, you have embraced this site, you have been honest about everything, situations , work wise and emotionally as well. You example what the whole Gamcare concept is about and just wish I could do something tangible to help.

You will stay strong for two apparent reasons but also because you set out on a mission to be a better person leading a gamble free life ...and you will. Things will sort themselves out in time.

Take Care

Day 18, i will not gamble today! i thank you all for your continued support, as i keep saying your all realy great and i appreciate it so very much. Sorry for yesterday. xx

Hit an all time low yesterday, just dropped boys of at school going to work on my cv over the next few days, next week my job hunting begins. Thank you for the advice about the reference going to ask today for one. What hit me the hardest yesterday was the list of people who just cant work with me and dont like me, everyone i have worked with for several years. It cuts deep and it hurts, boy it hurts. Gambling is such a destructive addiction, i regret so much for what i have done. If i could turn the clock back i would.

Got to dust myself down, lick my wounds and carry on, its so hard to be positive but i have to be. 3 weeks monday without gambling, so i do need gambling in my life? does it solve any of my problems? will it get me a job? will it make my sons happy? will it make me a better person? NO it f*****g wont! What i would like to do today is go in the arcade with a big sledge hammer and smash the f*****g place up. (sorry about this posting, think im going a little iffy).

Anyway hope you all have good gamble free day, you are in my thoughts. thank you so very much for all your support, ands xx

Morning ands. Lol, your last post. I have a fantasy of going into the arcades and dropping coins coated in super glue into the slots.

I must admit that your last post was very positive. Totally agree, gambling helps no one or anything, of course, except the gambling industry.

A thought here. These folk who say they don`t like you or want to work with you. How much gambling related is that. My guess is a lot.

Lots of things to look forward to with gambling gone in your life.

3 weeks gamble free. Well done. Keep strong buddy.

Hey Ands,

Im back buddy! Im so sorry for your pain. You have had a really awful time of it lately, and you deserve every bit of support and respect us lot can chuck at you.

I hear what you're saying about your colleagues, must really sting. Please remember that they did not reject YOU, they rejected YOUR BEHAVIOUR. That is a very important distinction. Im guessing that for at least the past couple of years you probably havent been yourself at work, and havent had much time for smalltalk at the watercooler.

When you are gambling compulsively its all you can think about, and you tend to disconnect from people. They will have probably forgotten what the real Andrew was like, and only be able to see as far as your behaviour.

You are clearly a kind, sensitive and caring guy. Gambling just stopped that part of your personality from shining.

Your honesty and bravery have genuinely touched me. In honour of that, I am taking the step of stating my real name. Its Kirsty. God knows why I picked Freda of all things! Anyway, ive gotten used to being Freda, so I'll stick with that on here. The point is, you've inspired me to be more honest on here, even if it is scary.

So im now going to post my real name on my thread. In an homage to the wonderfully brave and honest Ands. Keep fighting matey!

f (K) x

Day 19, I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY. Freda (Kirsty) that was very sweet of you, you have touched a nerve, thank you xxx. Have done my cv, going to mail it to a few agencies next wk and see what happens. Emotions are something i have not felt properly for a very long time, since stopping gambling i believe i have felt every emotion possible. From sheer happiness to pure desparation and bone crushing hurt. I feel completely emotionally lost, but my love for my sons has never been stronger, Us 3 lads are going to take the world on..(watch out lol). As they say the truth hurts, but the good thing for me now is that nothing else can go wrong, i believe the worse is over.

I can honestly say i do not regrete being honest, a life free of gambling, stealing and lieing has began for me. Life's what we make it, im not going to fold, you get knocked down, get the f*** up, you get your heart shattered it'll mend in time. My actions throughout my life have had its concequences for me, have lost family, friends,alot of money and my job. However im hanging on to the most important things and that is my sons and a tiny bit of pride and dignity.

Thursday and friday were just horrible but i got through i did not gamble lie or steal, that's a f*****g achievement for me.

I will say without all the help from you good people i would never have got this far, that is for sure.

Take care all and another huge thankyou. andrew xx

Ands,

Well done for getting through the toughest week of your life. I don't know you(obviously) but I feel very proud of you and wish you and your boys a happy and more settled future.

Well done buddy.

DT

hi ands,

just popping in, glad to see your here and still gamble free, you have had a tough few weeks mate and should hold your head up high and be proud of the fact you rode out the storm without gambling.

I really hope you have some joy on the job front, it may take a little time but thats one thing i have learnt in recovery, and in life time is sometimes the only thing that heals some wounds, the length of time it takes can be down to how we move forward, how we think and our actions.

keep strong, stay gamble free, and stay positive.

all the best to you and the boy's, you sound like a great dad, and your an even better dad when you don't gamble. keep it up my friend.

green x

How dare you swear on my thread, you potty mouth! lol!

Really glad to hear you sounding so positive. Wish you would stop apologising though! 'sorry for yesterday'? Sorry for what?! Being human, and having a really bad day. Being in pain when you are going through the mill. Needing support and encouragement. You must never apologise for any of these things.

You sound like you have your priorities right, you've lost a lot but you still have your boys. You can have anything else you want if you believe in yourself.

Take care, f x

Day 20, i will not gamble today. Thanks for all your posts.

Just a sunday morning thought , Why is it human nature to want what we cant have?

I miss my family and my friends.

Have a good sunday all, take care ands

Hi Ands,

Good to read you are continuing to do well in your recovery. Im certain you will make loads of new friends now that gambling isnt getting in the way. Once you are over the madness of the past few weeks, there will be no stopping you!

Take care,

f x

Day 21, i will not gamble today, would normally be at work now. Have emailed my cv to several agencies. Boys gone out for day with their friends down to Brighton. Would have gone too today but have made my excuses as i know what would happen, i would not be able to resist the tempation, and would end up on the fruit machines.

Feel quite depressed and lonely today, miss my family and friends, i guess its a case of rejoining society and establishing myself again. I used to avoid people and conversation, was more interested in gambling than people. Have a lot of spare time on my hands, i miss my job.

Take care all and hope you have good gamble free monday. ands