Hi all,
After many half hearted attempts at kicking this awful addiction I am finally going to throw everything I've got into beating this.
Im 27 and have been gambling on sports since 16. I will find any televised sporting event to bet on irrespective of my knowledge or enjoyment of the event and once I get behind and start chasing any rational thoughts I had go out the window and I've just got to use everything at my disposal to get the money back. I can't understand my motivation because I could have a fairly comfortable month by not gambling but ever month it's the same old story - throwing all my disposal income away and then convincing myself that I'm fine (im not it's just that I've had no money) and then the cycle continues.
I've read about people really having to want to stop and I do but at the same time I can't contemplate replacing the highs I feel when winning a bet, I just hope this feeling will lessen if not go away?
I spoke to an advisor at gam care and have been referred for 12 counselling sessions starting next week. This is day 5 of what I hope will be a new start. I feel I can stay strong until payday and then the real test will come.
Welcome to recovery & a massive congratulations on your 1st 5 days (I don't imagine they have been easy) 🙂
I never really wanted to stop gambling (just wanted to stop losing) so it was a harsh reality for me to discover that there was no such thing as controlling it! Now that I am here in recovery, I couldn't be happier & you will see a common theme running through these pages! People who slip can't make sense of it because they were happier in recovery! People in recovery have no regrets about being here, just about the amount of time it took to arrive! The addiction is evil but it can be managed by choosing 'No' One Day At A Time & never giving into the urges no matter when they creep up! Good to see you have made this decision @ an age when your whole life is still ahead of you!
I know you didn't ask for advice & you will get it all in due course if you don't know it already but breaking the Time-Money-Location triangle is vital in these early stages as removing 1 takes away the ability to gamble!
I look forward to hearing your progress! Keep strong - ODAAT
Thanks ODAAT,
It has been fairly easy so far as I have no means to gamble, I'm considering handy over my bank card etc to my Oh, would you recommend this? I feel like it would be a good buffer for me and she is prepared to help in any way possible but at the same time I feel like it's cheating im not faced with the ability to gamble and I couldn't go on forever without access to my finances.
Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I will need to find a replacement for watching sports on the TV, I try to enjoy cricket and football but with no action I feel like it's become so dull.
I am thinking about gambling a lot this week, I watched some football last night and ended up pretending a head money on one of the teams to try and recreate a feeling. I was listening to a radio show this morning about England's chances at the next euros and the first thought that came to my mind was 'I wonder what price they are?, I should back that!' it just seems so engrained in everything I do.
I absolutely would recommend it & I am chuffed that your OH is being supportive as this is vital 🙂
I handed my bank cards (all of them) over & had pocket money for lunch (which is humiliating but hey, so was walking out broke every day & doing the fake laugh @ the counter everytime I went up to it) keeping hold of a joint credit card (The bookies wouldn't take my credit cards just let me go over overdrawn!) that would have limited me should I have slipped but equally busted me anytime I did! I had my bank card back after about 3 months & I don't remember if it was that day exactly but I do remember celebrating the fact I had them back one second & feeling the urges kick right back in the next! I knew they were coming & also that I was strong enough to beat them so if you do hand yours over, it is not cheating! It is just breaking the triangle for a while! You'd take a paracetamol or a cool flannel for a headache right?
It's hard to 'let go' of something that has been with us so long regardless of how damaging it was (Stockholm syndrome being a prime example) but we can do it! You will need to find stuff to do (NT has a thread) to keep you occupied especially in these early days when the addiction still thinks it can win & is giving you everything it has! Coming on here is always good! It doesn't matter what price England are, if you win you'll want more & when you lose, you'll just chase until everything is gone!
Don't give the addiction the satisfaction, your life is worth more! Stay strong - ODAAT
Thanks for your words of encouragement ODAAT. It is great to have the support of my OH but at the same time she doesn't really understand what it is like (not her fault)
Its really encouraging to read so many stories of people like yourself who are coming out of the other side. I'll check back in in a couple of days with my progress, thanks again! I'm going to beat it this time!
She can't understand what we don't understand ourselves!
Good to hear you being positive & I'll catch you in a couple of days 🙂 If you get bored in the meantime, pop back, there is always something to read!
Keep choosing 'No' - ODAAT
Day 8 and I'm still going strong!
I think I was being a bit short with my OH over the weekend and I did find it hard with all the sport on the TV. Im still finding that my mind wonders to gambling a lot throughout the day but I can't say I've found the temptation unbeatable yet.
I've got my first counselling session tomorrow after work, I'm pretty nervous about opening up to a stranger but it's been a source of strength to know that the appointment has been coming up.
I hope you're getting on okay and have had a good few days!
RKTWP12 wrote: Day 8 and I'm still going strong!
I think I was being a bit short with my OH over the weekend and I did find it hard with all the sport on the TV. Im still finding that my mind wonders to gambling a lot throughout the day but I can't say I've found the temptation unbeatable yet.
I've got my first counselling session tomorrow after work, I'm pretty nervous about opening up to a stranger but it's been a source of strength to know that the appointment has been coming up.
I hope you're getting on okay and have had a good few days!
Day 9 and I attended my first counselling session today. I was very worried about it all day but it had given me a real resolve to keep going!
I'm determined to get to the route of my need to gamble but I realised that you don't need to think too far into the future fire the time being and can just concentrate on day by day.
I've been set a task to self exclude myself from my local bookies - i must admit I'm finding the right of that quite difficult but I'm going to do it in the next couple of days.
It's still very early days for you @ the moment & I was a right grot bag @ this time so whilst it doesn't excuse our behaviour, it shows you're not the only one struggling @ this stage!
Self excluding can feel overwhelming @ first but it became second nature for me after a battering, I just wish I'd had the good sense to do it on entry rather than once my money had run out! It does help to know, when I'm in an area that I did exclude from that the urges can kick as hard as they like & I won't be giving in!
It is vital to do this One Day At A Time as today is the only day we can control!
I'm going to be taking a break from posting soon so don't be alarmed if I disappear, it is nothing personal! If you like having contact with people on here, pop across to a few diaries & offer your support! I Wished & duncanmac have a big following due to their great advice!
You can do this & once the fog starts lifting, you will start to feel an awful lot better! Stay strong - ODAAT
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