The last attempt

day 3. sad,very sad.

day4. can not escape thoughts about amount of losses. it pushes hardly.

Hi dovy, well done on day 4 keep pushing hard, it will get easier.

You have won for 4 days keep starving it.

Suzanne xx

Day 7. No money - no temptation. Only thoughts on bets still. Trying to avoid anything that remembers betting.

Day 9. Just easier a little bit. Maybe small progress: already less than 100 times a day think about lost money and about the possibility of betting again. But I acknowledge I can not win as I am compulsive gambler. Try to do my best - to stay away from these devil's places.

Change is happening only when we do not do this, to what we are accustomed to.

Still day 9. Read many posts. Already become boring as words and thoughts are repeated. Many of you talks about triangle. Normal gambler always find time to do it. Usually I visited casinos on my way to walk, then during lunch time, then after work hours. Usually I placed bet everywhere via my mobil phone, even when I am in the toilet room I make bets or look to results even when cleaning up my a*s. So TIME, you will always find it.

PLACE. Yes you can block many places. But gambler during his compulsive condition will find many many places to gamble: internet cafe everywhere, kids mobile phones, friends mobile phones, computers of neighbours, also many offices of bookmakers doesn`t care about your self excluding and so on and so for. So it is really naive to talk about place.

MONEY. It is probably the only thing that works. And only in that case if you control yourself, your thoughts - what is very difficult.

I mentioned previously that gamblers are very smart people. They always find the way to get money for playing, but not always find money to buy some food even for himself.

Personally for me it seems that many people here lost for example 20 000 pounds or even less and they already speak about suicide or similar. Yes, it could be cruel situation in some cases And yes I found a few really cruel stories when losing their all life savings, losing houses, loosing families, are in deep deep debts (not 3 wages). So these people really needs help who are in the bottom, but not those who have 5000 pounds debts and still their live in front of them. I THINK WE have to separate low stakes gamblers to separate forume.

These are only my thoughts on my diare. Sorry, I know that many of you will not like it. Have a goog free betting night!

Addiction is not measured by the amount of money you have lost my friend.

Barriers will obviously only help if you desire to stop gambling, they are designed to give you time to think through what your considering doing.

Your comment about women & young gamblers is both offensive & incorrect.

Have you considered professional help, or GA or would that mean you actually having to do some of the work required in giving up yourself?

I would suggest you to jump off this high horse straight away. With comments like that, you're not setting any good example for fellow abstainers.

Think and think again of what you put down.

Regards,
S

Thank you for your comment day@atime. Yes , it shows that I am very angry to the world.

I was in GA. Dislike it, as they speak about God too much. Your are right about professional help, that is why I look here for my destiny brothers, but not for those who lost few thousands and now in debt to their parents. I will not receive an adequate advice from them and I will not give them a real help.

Ah the God excuse! I have been in GA rooms for nearly 8 years & have never seen God forced on anyone.

I understand your angry but people on here have been nothing but kind to you .

Nothing you try will work for you without 100% commitment.

Deal with the addiction before it deals with you

Day 10. Payday was today. Thanks God, my wife catched that moment of transferring funds and took my card. Ok, now no money no temptation. But I am angry, I want to earn more by betting. Try to calm down drinking 5th pint. GL to everyone high stake gambler. And please do not write this sh... 'you are doing great, you can, abstain, keep fighting, i am with you... f... you I am alone with my problem. Please do not read my diary!!!

Day 12. Not easy.

I'm sorry but your biggest problem is your attitude. U came to the site because like the rest of us u wanted help, but reading your diary u really need to be less Selfish. Your comments about posts from women and those who have lost less money than you are appalling. The only thing that makes u any different to anyone else is u either earn more or have access to more. The destruction is still the same. Instead of belittling those that have came here for "losing just 3months pay" congratulate them on getting help now. Use your own experience to show them how.Worse it can be. Help others and u will find help yourself. Gambling makes us all selfish but rarely have I seen it so blatantly written. I hope your wife continues to control the finances and u get time to realise that you won't beat this with a big win. I wish u well all the same, despite being a female with less than 5k of current debt

jw1976 you wrote very correctly. Thank you very much. I wish I wrote so diplomatically as well. Maybe in few months I will manage. I will try to share my experience how to not reach such deep bottom later on. Now I write my diary only for self control.

Now I need to shake down myself after huge losses. I will do it myself because remember jw1976, 80percent of people do not care about your problems; rest 20 percent are happy that you have worries.

my heart goes out to you because the depression in you is clear to see. have u considered seeking medical hep first for depression?. it is linked with gambling addiction and i am on anti depressants myself which do help. ts hard to concentrate on the postive when you feel so low. think of your positives. your wife, who has stood by you and clearly has a lot of love for you. you dont deserve to live like this. you have made made mistakes by gambling money and getting into debt. it doesnt make you a bad person. those mistakes wont be corrected by trying to win it back, your making everything worse by even thinking that. its a scary prospect but you need to put a long term financial plan in place. i dont know how bad it is, but is bancrupty an option? an iva? even a debt management plan?. you may feel ashamed but the relief u will feel when u control these debts will help with your gambling recovery. you need to forgive yourself for past mistakes, they are done, gone. time to move on and be the man your wife married. i wish u well x