It's time I fully committed to "STOP". Gambling once and for all and venting on here is were it and my gambling stops once and for all!. To begin I'm not actually a new member I've been registered for a few years but only commented a few times but I'm starting out as a new member and hopefully a new person with a new mindset on gambling. Over the last few years I've visited the site numerous times but only after losing money I couldn't afford to and in a twisted way to read other people's stories to look for the worst ones to somehow make me feel better about my situation (I apologise if that make me sound like a d*ck but I'm just being honest). Anyways back to my story (I'll try to keep it as brief as possible) . I've always liked drink on the weekends since my early teens (27 now) and since the age of 18 liked a bet. I've done what you could class as the usual if you read most peoples story's on here - started on small footy bets..they got bigger. Then went onto blackjack etc and finally onto the media dubbed(I definitely agree btw) ****** C*****e of gambling SLOTS. I've won money and then inevitably lost it and more. I've self excluded all sites possible even opening accounts just to close them but then found myself going through pages and pages on Google just to find a new one to sign up to when I've got the urge to gamble and that little voice in my head won't shut up telling me how I won all that money off such a small deposit in the past. I've giving my bank card to my girlfriend but always managed to talk her into giving it back. I've done weeks of wages in minutes impulsively to then have to work for weeks (in my mind) for NOTHING. And I've had to ask my single mum who ironically works in a bookies to bail me out when I've been skint. But this is it as the title says the last straw time to accept it can't go on anymore! I suffer and take medication for generalised anxiety and have done for a few years so big losses certainly don't help with that . At the start of the post I mentioned I like a drink on the weekend and also a gamble. my real problem is them combined that's when there is no off button until everything is gone and that's exactly what happened last night. Basically the last couple of months have been crazy there were a few personal problems with the relationship etc which was stressing me out and after a year of no slots just a ВЈ50 max a week deposit limit doing football bets on one site which I stuck to . I made the choice maybe because there's currently no football on or maybe just because I needed that escape gambling brings. But i signed up to a site didn't set a deposit limit and then lost all ВЈ3000 of my savings in 1 night chasing my original ВЈ50 deposit! I'd worked bloody hard on cold muddy building sites to earn that money. Maybe I should of stopped then but I couldn't accept the loss .the following week I deposited ВЈ100 I played ВЈ2 and won a ВЈ1000 I withdrew ВЈ500 and thought what the hell I'll try ВЈ50 spins then on the 8th spin bang I hit it the bonus round ВЈ6000 I'd got all my savings back cleared my credit card and still had a nice lump left over. well here's the really stupid bit I got the money and over 4 weeks or so just fed it back into the same game . Last night I had ВЈ1000 in my savings and ВЈ1200 (ВЈ500 over draft) in my bank account... ВЈ 100 deposit turned into ВЈ1200 then ВЈ1000 and then somehow ВЈ500 over my over draft!. I now have £0 in my bank or savings plus know the week I've just worked still isn't going to put my balance back in the black. I feel like such an idiot and sick to my stomach at how stupid I've been but my biggest fear is doing it again in the future .
whats the point in working my ****** off to save money when theres a risk I'll just do this again! No matter how many sites and sister sites I self excluded from there's always new ones for me to self destruct on. After last night I've called the bank and told them I've lost my bank card and there sending me a new one which my plan is to give straight to my gf and have here scratch the last 3 digits off the bank so I can't use it on any online gambling sites I'm hoping this helps and I'm never in this situation again. So this is it I'm committed this time and will do it this time I'm done with gambling! Thanks to anyone who's taken the time to read this and thanks in advance for any support or advice I get on my journey to becoming gamble free... DAY 1...
Thanks for starting a diary again Minksy.. I'm sure others will be along to comment and support but in the meantime you are welcome to call us on the Helpline or Netline. Sounds like you are putting someblocks in place but we can help you out with more, and we can offer free counselling or point you towards GA. Anyway, our details are at the top of each page of the website.
Take care
Forum Admin
Day 6 . Still s******g about the loss but at least I've ended up on here tonight instead of one of the many self destruction sites...I'm going to bed now thanks for all the help , support and encouragement to beat this s**t addiction gamcarers ..Oh wait :/never... mind.
People are with you even if they don't always reply. Sometimes we need some attention, some warmth and support but others are sometimes just in their own problems like I was earlier. You did the right thing tonight. I didn't. You will get support here. Keep posting.
Day 21. No slots or gaming at all but have placed football bets the last 2 Saturdays (each Saturday with in my deposit limit) . So not really sure if this is an achievement or not? I've actually got a positive bank balance now (from working not gambling) still owe just over ВЈ300 on my credit card but shouldn't take to long to clear . I can't ever let my guard down with slots etc again my £3000 savings have gone and I'm beginning to except it but this has to be a lesson I learn from
Slot free, possibly loss free but not gamble free, you're still feeding the addiction.
CW
Hi Minksy,
Welcome. Just read your diary, thanks for sharing. Maybe you would have had a better response posting a new thread in the "newbies section" anyway that's in the past now, lets move on. From reading your opening post, I and many other members will agree that YOU cannot control your gambling. We are all in the same boat my friend. Look how you went back after the big win, look how you "chased" and lost much more. Then in yourself you think you are ok placing £xx on a weekend football bet? That £xx could have been rebuliding your savings or paying of the credit card. My god I did some damage chasing, I look back now and think even if I'd have walked away for a few hours (or switched off my phone) I'd have been ok. BUT NO, through my recovery I know I wouldn't have been ok because I'm addicted to gambling and I couldn't control myself. The "chasing" just made the walls fall in around me quicker. Now when I look back over the 6 months I've been gamble free I'm glad it happened that way or I'd still be an addict living in denial.
Again if you read your opening post...... where did it all start......the "good old, harmless and fun Saturday football bet"........ look where it has led you my friend. Think about it, if you really want to stop gambling it means no gambling at all.
I'm wishing you all best, start counting your days when you are totally gamble free.
Regards, Shep.
Cynical wife wrote:
Slot free, possibly loss free but not gamble free, you're still feeding the addiction.
CW
As CW says be very careful
If u feed the monster the monster still lives and waits for a moment of weakness and will pounce and destroy you!
Dont feed the monster and its weak and eventually gambling urges are less and less
Thanks for the words and tbh I think I know deep down that if I win. the bets will get bigger. And if I lose I'll start stupidly re betting on "anything" inplay to recoup the money just to continue the cycle and it will just be a matter of time before I lose everything again. Since that loss I've actually found it easy to stay away from the slots..maybe it's because the footy season is giving me just enough of a fix and I think somewhere in my mind I (maybe stupidly) think there's a chance I might get it back as sports betting isn't "complete luck" ... problem is I know deep down even if I did win big it would go back on betting so what's the point? Writing and speaking to others with the same problem does really help. It's going to be tough not doing my weekend accy it's almost like a bloody ritual 90mins on a Saturday I look forward to . Giving it up will P**s me off if I'm honest as it doesn't bother me losing a tenner but i need to except it's not losing a tenner that's the problem it's the fact of what it will eventually lead to. people drink and don't become alcoholics , people smoke cannabis and dont become heroin addicts and people can gamble responsibly
.. When it comes to gambling I know I'm not one of them people and it's P****s me off .
Wise words my friend. Get your mind set for the rocky road ahead. You can still enjoy the footy results on a Saturday, enjoy a live game on a Sunday. I certainly do but you'll find without betting better things to do to occupy your time, it will come naturally believe me. Just think of the Saturday nights you've gone out P****d off about your footy bet being let down in the last minute and the urge to win it back in a stupid in-running mad decision. Same applies on a Sunday. I've lost count of the Sunday nights where I've lost on the English Premiership in the day then been chasing like a mad man on the Spainish footy in the evening. MAD!
I remember saying sports betting was a "true result" not fixed like machines, bandits, video slots etc cos there all programmed to make money. Probably like your description of "isn't complete luck". Sorry but it got me nowhere, only thousands in debt. Try saying it isn't luck to all the BIG HITTERS who'll have bet on millions on one of the top4 winning the Prem league last year. Or the ones who'll have laid Leciester not to win the league in the later season. These are the reasons there are no skint bookies. If you feed them, they will take every penny. It's all luck I'm afraid.
All the best, Shep.
Cynical wife wrote:
Slot free, possibly loss free but not gamble free, you're still feeding the addiction.
CW
minksy89 wrote: Thanks for the words and tbh I think I know deep down that if I win. the bets will get bigger. And if I lose I'll start stupidly re betting on "anything" inplay to recoup the money just to continue the cycle and it will just be a matter of time before I lose everything again. Since that loss I've actually found it easy to stay away from the slots..maybe it's because the footy season is giving me just enough of a fix and I think somewhere in my mind I (maybe stupidly) think there's a chance I might get it back as sports betting isn't "complete luck" ... problem is I know deep down even if I did win big it would go back on betting so what's the point? Writing and speaking to others with the same problem does really help. It's going to be tough not doing my weekend accy it's almost like a bloody ritual 90mins on a Saturday I look forward to . Giving it up will P**s me off if I'm honest as it doesn't bother me losing a tenner but i need to except it's not losing a tenner that's the problem it's the fact of what it will eventually lead to. people drink and don't become alcoholics , people smoke cannabis and dont become heroin addicts and people can gamble responsibly .. When it comes to gambling I know I'm not one of them people and it's P****s me off .
Self reflection and learning is an important part of recovering dialy from this addiction. If only there was an easy answer I could suggest. Sadly there's not. keep sharing Tri xx
minksy89 wrote: Thanks for the words and tbh I think I know deep down that if I win. the bets will get bigger. And if I lose I'll start stupidly re betting on "anything" inplay to recoup the money just to continue the cycle and it will just be a matter of time before I lose everything again. Since that loss I've actually found it easy to stay away from the slots..maybe it's because the footy season is giving me just enough of a fix and I think somewhere in my mind I (maybe stupidly) think there's a chance I might get it back as sports betting isn't "complete luck" ... problem is I know deep down even if I did win big it would go back on betting so what's the point? Writing and speaking to others with the same problem does really help. It's going to be tough not doing my weekend accy it's almost like a bloody ritual 90mins on a Saturday I look forward to . Giving it up will P**s me off if I'm honest as it doesn't bother me losing a tenner but i need to except it's not losing a tenner that's the problem it's the fact of what it will eventually lead to. people drink and don't become alcoholics , people smoke cannabis and dont become heroin addicts and people can gamble responsibly
.. When it comes to gambling I know I'm not one of them people and it's P****s me off .
I can completely relate to that. I often tell myself I'm not addicted to just putting a few quid on a sport's bet on a Saturday. For me it's just about justifying the first bet In my head. Then I'm back full circle. I could only assume for me everyday would somehow become Saturday.
There's a couple of posts over on my diary where I say the same. Go check it out you may laugh because I think I lasted about 2 days lol
All the best
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