The promise

I would recommend it to anyone as it does give some insight into what to do to cope with the addiction.

I'm going to have a look for thy Matthew Etherington one where did you find it?

I just typed gambling addiction in the search box on my iphone and it was first in the list. It's called Gambling Addiction - 5 live sports special. There are some other podcasts as well. Let me know if you spot anything that looks useful. Thanks.

Will do this Change I will have look and listen in next couple of days and let you know how I get on. Cheers

Been taking note of quiet a few posters who are really really trying with this addiciton having terrible urges but absolute resolve to stop. Then the kind comments made by people to offer support are just amazing. It inspires me every day to see a bunch of strangers pulling together. I hope to inspire others as they do me as we approach a new year. Keep the faith.

Day 10

On way to worry again and really on countdown to Christmas. I need some rest and to relax a bit. Want to jot down some resolutions for the new year and obviously no gambling will be at the top of the list but some of the other ones are going to be important too.

Positives

- managed to get a little bit of extra sleep inbetween feeds last night so feel slightly better

- been able draw inspiration from others to help me

- coming to terms with my latest relapse and drawing a line under my finances so from today forth I can only see progress rather than needing to recoup money just to get to being even

Last one is probably most important from a mental perspective. Still a little down and the positives aren't coming as easy to me than they did in the first week.

Drop me a post if you've got any observations.

Listened to another podcast this time a panel interview with John Hartson another ex prem league footballer. It shocked me if I'm honest because there were so many similarities in his stories to my own situation.

Examples of comparisons:

- being away from the house for a few days, coming back home and just heading straight past the wife to switch the tv on and watch a cricket match because you have a huge amount riding on it (as soon as cricket match finishes go and speak to wife)

- betting on sports no nothing about and literally just guessing on overs / unders and more random markets

- total lack of concentration and preoccupation with gambling - either placing a bet, thinking of next bet, getting money for next bet etc

Again he said he would need to attend GA meetings for the rest of his life.

The day is chugging away fairly slowly. Been trying to tee some more stuff up for the new year but nothing yet.

Decent progress and i sense more positivity in your more recent posts , good luck with the goals. I too am trying to work out what i want to actually achieve and not purely what i dont want to be doing ... i .e gambling. But obviously the GA side asks us to just concentrate a day at a time and to have ticked the no gamble box each day is definitely worthy of being at the top.

I started listing a few things i sued to do, and some others i havent done and some of these will get some legs pretty soon.

keeping fit physically

swimmming, walking, gym, learn to ski ( both my brothers do, my ten year old son is just starting lessons).Tennis and golf more so in summer.

Mental enjoyemnt/activity

Learn bridge (dont crucify me cos its a card game) learn chess/backgammon. Read for fun. Learn a language (again both brothers are multi lingual... i just never fancied it cos i cud use that time to gamble is the truth innit) Join a club of some sort, photogrpahy, art who knows .... Volunteering of some sort, helping elderly or homeless people or similar

Kids and family

movies, walks, shopping, days out , sight seeing, mountain climbing, bike riding

Obviously these are just my ramblings... but very easily any one of them could become a goal, and theres crossiver potetial too. Like one of them could be take my ten year old swimming once a month or more ... and so on.

We can replace gambling with posiitve things and i know its the stuff we forgot aboutm, stopped doing or never started doing cos we were too preoccupied thats going to make all the difference to me... It does not have to be huge aspriational stuff,,, but then agian thats a personal choice isnt it.

Enjoying your diary, thanks

I like that post manup. Thanks for responding. We both just got to make it happens as word are nothing in this game. I'm pretty determined though!

Anyone else looking forward to Xmas? I cannot wait! What do I like the most? Giving presents and bread sauce... just the tastiest thing on the table! I wack it all over the turkey and potatoes. Only time of the year it surfaces! Oh and all the obscure drinks that appear once a year - sherry, port, snowballs...

Hi Change , yes mate , for the first time in many years I cannot wait to spend time with the family , everything traditional , I've missed life so much it hurts sometimes , What an aaaarse I've been for so much of my life .

Yeah ! def Bread sauce , and I do like a glass of Drambuie after all the excitement ,well prob half a bottle if I'm honest !.

Good to see you all round the forum of late , cracking effort Bud !

Day 11

Looking forward to the day as edging closer to the Christmas break with every hour. Been listening to more podcasts and makes you realise how much gambling affects lives and it is so far reaching. I think being in the zone made me ambivalent to some of the impacts.

Positives

- gained a definite appreciation that this is really serious and it's not a game and affects lives

- not getting as stressed or angry in every day life

Morning Change,

Keep bringing those positives out 🙂

Not partial to bread sauce myself lol prefer onion sauce, accompanied with cranberry sauce, it would not be Xmas dinner without it.

Sherry is my tipple for Xmas morning, (the hard stuff comes out later 0:)))

Have a good strong and positive gamblng free day.

Suzanne xxx

I love the idea of noticing the positives each day. Our lives are a constant flow of ups and downs, but by focussing on the good stuff it helps to balance out some of the crappier parts of our day. You seem determined to beat the devil this time round, and I'm really rooting for you.

I hear what you're saying about plans and life goals. I was posting very similar questions on my own diary a while ago. What did I want out of life? What were my goals? I didn't have a scooby. My ideas were all very wooly..."to be healthy" "to be happy" "to be there for the kids". But what did that actually mean? I really had to think long and hard about it and break it down into smaller bits. So for example, what does "to be happy" mean to me? Turns out it means lots of things....to be doing things I enjoy, to not feel bored, to be connected to the people in my life, to see my friends and get out of the house more, to notice the good stuff and feel more grateful for what I have, to feel like I'm using my brain and doing something productive, to have things to look forward to. The list went on and on!! So then I had to break those things down into smaller managable, quantifiable things and actually start doing something about them. Like manupnow, I made a list of loads of activities and things I'd like to start doing and I've signed up for some of them and have begun giving a few of them a go. I've also been making a concious effort with my relationships. I identified that a source of stress for me was with my teenage daughter as we clash at times. So I'm putting greater effort into our relationship and I'm trying some strategies that (fingers crossed) seem to be working.

Just realised that I'm rambling....sorry. Might have to put that on my list of things to change! I was just trying to say that you're not alone in being unsure about your plans or goals and that they don't have to be huge big plans and dreams "world peace" "start my own international company" 🙂 Just think of one thing that you'd like to do/improve and take small, managle steps to achieve it. Then pick another, then another. All the while acknowledging that you're doing it and feel the sense of achievement.

All the best. LifeBegins x