The road to recovery

Good on you for recognising your issue. It's a progressive addiction and before you know it you'll end up a quivering mess still depositing and chasing. When the compulsion grabs you it's difficult to stop, with many stopping only because they have nothing left to gamble with.

I don't want to make light of your situation but if you stop now and stay stopped you'd have got off relatively unscathed. I can say this as I had the chance to stop at £1k, £6k then £10k but I let it back in and eventually stopped at £60k - £70k. Don't be that guy, learn from everyone here, that's why you're here anyway right? To learn how to stop. I wish you well.

Thanks Tom!

Yes I'm aware after reading some of these stories that I aren't quite in the same league as others.

However, I have probably felt just as bad as you and anyone else.

I have betrayed so many people who have given me money which I have used to fund my addiction.

I've hated myself for doing it but couldn't find a way to stop. Despite several attempts.

I've downloaded a cool app which tells me, minute by minute, how much I've saved in gambling thus far. I've only been gf for 3 hours but I'm already up to £1.50 saved. I'll look forward to checking it and seeing that money grow and grow. To me, that in itself will feel like money in the bank. I'm very excited by all this. Though I'm not stupid enough to think this will be easy.

For so many years, Saturdays and Sundays have always been about the football and gambling on the football. It's what I used to love about the weekend. I would bet on matches and then sit watching them in excitement. I'm going to find it extremely difficult to stop that. That's when the real test begins.

My biggest fear is how will I ever watch sport again with the same excitement? What will I replace such a big part of my life with at the weekends? I do love sport, though it has probably become apparent that it was the betting I loved rather than the sport itself.

My other biggest fear is that EVERYONE I know has a flutter from time to time and openly talk about it. That has been what has dragged me back in before.

I don't like feeling left out.

Sad, but true.

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Still a long way to go until then....

Hi Morrey,

Interesting point you've raised about your love of sport. You are exactly right; it's the betting you wanted, not the sport. But here's the funny thing. I love watching football. The question is, can you enjoy watching it without a bet?

And here's the strange answer. It's yes. When you gamble on a game, you don't really watch the game, you watch the SCORE. When you don't bet, you watch the GAME, and learn more about the joys of the game itself - the players, the teams, the skills, the tactics, the spirit and the atmosphere. Without the irritation of a one-dimensional, cold and (frankly) dull bet, you can actually enjoy the game itself. And if you'd've won if you'd've backed the result, well - so what. Fact is, you'd lose overall so what's the point anyway. It's time for you to fall in love with the GAME again (whatever sport, that is, you like).

As regards the roulette, well you can knock that one the head right now. Sticking money into a computer program that's stacked against you? Naaaa, no thanks. Just stop. The cashiers behind the counter sniggering at you (and they ARE) and hoping you do your nuts to help boost their bonuses? Not any more.

And don't worry about being 'left out'. Just say you're not betting any more to your mates and family. They'll understand. And secretly respect you, too. Be strong! Are you a leader or a sheep...? (You know the answer to that!)

If you are serious about stopping for good, from TODAY, then why not join a challenge with like-minded determined souls on here. There are the 2016 and 2107 challenges, in the 'Overcoming Gambling' section of the forum. Or, the 100 day challenge wherever EVERYONE in the group has to stop for 100 days - else the 'team' day counter resets back to 0.

Keep Gambling Free - time to get off the train to hell and choose life over certain misery. Good news - you're getting off the train in time - but only just; you know that.

Thanks Mixer!

You are spot on with everything you say! You're right, I do need to fall back in love with my sports.

As with everything else in my life too, my girlfriend, my friends, my family and the rest.

I'll definitely check out those challenges you've mentioned. It may be just the thing I need to help spur me on!

Amazingly well written there Mixer.

Great insight which will help others.

Hi Moorey, your second post took me back. My problems manifested themselves with football betting. A game I'd loved for as long as I could remember and which I played for almost 30 years. The excitement sitting watching Jeff and the boys on Sky Sports....made even better when in a pub with some mates.....then eventually I didn't have to go to a pub there was just a seemingly non-stop run of football on my own television and then when even that wasn't enough I found myself lying in bed at 3 a.m watching live matches from South America on a tiny 5in x 4 in computer window. Rarely but occasionally I'd have a 'punch the air' moment but I didn't fullly appreciate that all I was celebrating was some more funds to bet with.

As ridiculous as it sounds I found it hard to contemplate a normal day to day life without live football matches on a regular basis BUT in an attempt to control my addiction I effectively cut myself off from professional football for close to a year.

I didn't watch live matches, I didn't watch highlights, I'd ignore sports news websites and although it was hard at first...coupled with adapting to a new lifestyle with no betting...It got easier.

I accepted an invitation to watch the CL final in the May after stopping the previous August and it was okay (I was still nervous beforehand) but I spent so much time just gassing with friends I didn't really notice the football.

I then started going to watch my local team which was a completely different kettle of fish from the slick Premiership model shown on cable tv. I got a season ticket in August and thoroughly enjoy it with absolutely no thoughts of gambling on the result, the number of corners, number of bookings, etc.

I do now feel able to scan the results on a Sunday or watch live matches without any temptation to bet but still tend to restrict it to big matches.

I'm still acutely aware of how helpless I felt when I arrived at this site and of the comfort I took from people who had the same illness and who had managed to take some positive steps. Hopefully my recent experiences can do the same for you or others.

Cheers PK!

Yes, keeping away from the football and the cricket will be incredibly difficult. I remember the days when I used to watch the games for fun, but now I can't do so unless I'm supporting a team to win or hoping for over x amount of corners etc...

I do hope that genuine love for sport does return for me.

I'm a season ticket holder for my local team too, and I found myself betting against them and secretly hoping they'd lose in the hope of winning some money. That's not right!!!

I'm trying to keep away from sport on the television.

does get easier as the days go by, day 1 will soon be day 50, at the beginning just make sure all the blocks are in place, what worked for me was not carrying my debit card with me, taking out enought to get me through the month then putting in a drawer

It is possible to enjoy watching sport without having a bet maybe at the early stage just concentrate on getting through the days but you'll soon be able to enjoy it without having a bet

I could write a book on some of my idiotic sports bets, used to bet on corners, the games flew by & was so gut wrenching when a blatant corner was given as a goal kick, was even once when my team was challenging for the title I was disappointed when the keeper palmed the ball into the net, I wanted a corner, that's what it does you messes with your mind

I eventually moved off sports bets onto blackjack & roulette which are equally doomed to failure

Took me long enough to realise but stopping gambling is best thing I've done in a while, your life will be better without it, the stress & anxiety it brings is not worth it, so many better things to spend our hard earned money on

Good luck

Day 2

No major urges to gamble so far, but I'm constantly clock watching to see how long it's been. That can't be a good sign?

I can only hope that as the days tick by, that will dissappear.

Surprisingly, having read alot of diaries on here, I've not been dwelling too much on the money that I've lost. Though I'm aware that could be because I'm not in any kind of debt.

I am anxious to build up my savings as quickly as possible though because I think my parents think that I have around 3k in the bank. When in reality, I have about £200. They're constantly asking me why I'm not buying certain things for my new house.

I want to build up a steady savings before they twig!

Anyway, on with my day. Hopefully another GF day...

Thanks again for all your replies. They mean so much in times like this!

Good man, Moorey. I can clearly see you're sincere and serious about this. Roll on more GF days, one at a time. I'm confiident you can get control of this, actually.

Thanks Mixer!

Yes, I've never been more serious about giving up. I've tried in the past, but with no real game plan.

I've been very unsettled today but it's not because I've wanted to gamble. It's bizarre!

It's like a big part of my life has been taken away and I'm struggling to find something to replace it with. It makes it even harder the fact that I'm off work for the next couple of weeks.

But I've never wanted to gamble less than I do right now.

This whole experience has been a massive wake up call.

I'm not sure what my motive was to gamble, but I desperately want to build my savings up.

I'm treating each hour that passes by as a win for me. The equivalent of winning a bet, but in a way where I feel like I've worked hard for it and not cheated my way to a quick (lucky) buck.

If that makes sense?

Hi Moorey,

It does make sense and here are a few pointers that you might find useful...

When you are classed as having a compulsive gambler mindset (which you have, and so do I, incidentally), every betting cycle has the same pattern, which is: 1. You may win. 2. You may lose. 3. If you win, then eventually you'll lose more than you win. (In other words, you always lose eventually).

That understood, you know you can't win.

Next, motivation to stop. You want to stop wasting your time/money/reputation on this disastrous course (as you know it will be). You also need to rebuild your savings. Here's what to do. Let your cash build up in your current account. It will, because you're not gambling it. Your 'free spend' will increase quite nicely. Enjoy looking at your bank statements from time to time. When, and only when, it's***t what you need (you talked about £3k?) transfer it into your savings. Meantime, quietly, build up the balance.

And there you have it! I'm taking the time to write this to you, btw, because you're going to do this. The deal is: I'm not wasting my time and you are not going to waste your life - anymore 🙂

Thanks again Mixer for taking the time to write those very useful tips and logic.

I'm looking forward to reaching my 7 day target as I've not gone that long without betting for about 10 years!

The future excites me because of this. I'm so envious of all my mates who seem to have far more money than I do for holidays, nights out etc. The truth is my holiday/night out money is being fed into the roulette wheel and various other sporting bets.

I could have had so many more great experiences in my life.

Thankfully I'm still young enough to claw those opportunities back.

This has been/is the hardest battle I've had to face.

Congratulations Moorey, because your gambling-free future has started; in fact, it started 7 days ago. You are never going to gamble ever again. You are giving yourself the key to the door of a gambling free future, and you unlocked it a week ago.

You are going to make some realisations over the last few days, weeks and months. This is an entirely natural part of the process. You may feel profound regret, and even understand what lead you to gambling in the first place. Don't worry, though, again, these feelings are natural. You will come out stronger the other side. You may feel that counselling helps, or meetings, or phoning Gamcare, or reading and writing on these forums. You may feel like sharing your feelings and issues with your loved ones, but only 'when and if' you think that is the best thing to do.

I have just given you a potted history of the next few stages to help you prepare. Meantime, keep gambling free, day to day, every day.

Importantly, your loved ones and friends will look at you with a new sense of respect. (They really will.)

You'll feel better, act better, look better and be better. Enjoy this epithany and a much better future. It will be hard work, but so, so, worth it. You've stopped, and every day, remind yourself that you are in the gambling-free world. You have chosen life over misery.

Why have I written this in a 'matter of fact' style to you Moorey? Simple. Because you are never going to gamble again!