The start of my new life

Thursday. Work, uni and gym.

Work was fine, not too busy, just getting prepared for a stock take next week which thankfully I will not be there for (they are not fun at all).

Was leaving to go to uni when I received a call which got me in a panic, thought there was something wrong with my ex but turns out her phone just decided to ring me by itself! Panic over went to uni for my last session of the term before my exams.

Went down the gym from uni and had a good couple of hours workout running, cycling, rowing and lots of weights machines. Left feeling rejuvenated if not a little sore, sure I'll be even more sore tomorrow however. The way I see it though the harder I work now the easier my runs will be in the future. Also by filling my days, which can be very long I don't have time to think about gambling let alone actually gamble.

Not a bad day and another gamble free.

Friday. Went to work, was rather hard getting out of bed after going to the gym the night before. All of my muscles ached but was in luck as it was a rather quiet day.

My son was supposed to be meeting me at work so we could jump on the train which goes a few minutes after I finish. Called him just before I was due to finish and found out he was still sitting at home with one of his mates and so had to wait around and missed our train!

Got back to my nans to get a phone call from my son's mother as he'd left all the lights on in the house, the telly, messed the place up and numerous other things that she wasn't happy with.

After giving him a good talking to enjoyed a nice evening with him in front of the tv.

No thoughts or opportunities to gamble.

Saturday. Decided to go to the gym in the morning before watching the Arsenal game in the afternoon, however it was a testing morning. Left to get the train which I saw pulling away as I walked up to the station. Waited 20 minutes for the next one and decided to get off that and onto the faster train which ended up being 20 minutes late. Now 40 minutes behind got to the gym and only had about half the time I'd anticipated. Left the gym to get the train back before the football started and missed that as well! Ended getting back half way through the first half and wasn't pleased.

After watching the game was happier due to Arsenal winning andthen went over the park with my son, uncle and one of my cousins for a little kick about.

Didn't really do anything else for the rest of the day. My Nan was kept in at the hospital after going to get some antibiotics which was worrying. Also is a little frustrating every time I watch a game of football and have to see the continuous ads from betting firms especially when watching with family as feel a little awkward.

Sunday. Had been looking forward to the day as was spending it with both the kids and my ex and the day was supposed to be lovely but didn't go very well at all.

Went and watched my boy play rugby in the morning and after the recent good performances he was back to messing about notreally putting the effort in. This is partly to do with the fact his uncle was down and he always plays up when he's about. Anyway when actually putting the effort in he didn't do bad. Went back to the rugby club to meet my ex and her son and within the first couple of minutes of seeing them something was said that I didn't like and basically that was it the day was ruined. Having been looking forward to it I then acted like an idiot being sharp with her and not enjoying what I'd been looking forward to. Then had another deep talk, said more things I later regretted, same old story. Rather than biting my tongue and giving myself time I keep on effectively cutting my nose off to spite my face. I really do need to learn to just count to ten and be rational, it would make my life so much easier and I wouldn't feel so bad afterwards. Oh well next thing to work on.

I'm creating so much drama in my life at the moment but at least I'm not gambling anymore. I suppose one thing at a time but definitely need to sort out the irrational outbursts because they do me no good whatsoever. I'm so much happier at the moment but then I do or say something stupid which makes me feel like cr**. Think first you stupid boy.

Monday. Worked and relaxed in the evening.

Preparing for stock take still so was a busy day. Went back to my Nans and just relaxed, watched some t.v., something I don't do much of now. Spoke to my Nan who's still in hospital but she was in good spirits so that's good.

Uneventful day but another without the pain of gambling, all good.

Tuesday. Worked and then got very drunk in the evening watching the Arsenal game at home.

Same old at work, busy, busy.

Went and got a few beers from the supermarket on the way home only to get asked for I.D. which made me laugh seeing I'll be 31 injust over a month, did put a smile on my face though. What can I say it's my boyish good looks!

Watched the Arsenal game or tried to as by half way through the second half was having to try and focus on the t.v. with one eye shut was that drunk. Also had a phone call from my ex asking for her strengths and weaknesses before going to a work interview the next day. Not the easiest thing to do whilst half cut! Then to top it off managed to flood the kitchen.

Another day without gambling so all in all quite a good day, just a pity Arsenal didn't win!

Tuesday. Worked and then got very drunk in the evening watching the Arsenal game at home.

Same old at work, busy, busy.

Went and got a few beers from the supermarket on the way home only to get asked for I.D. which made me laugh seeing I'll be 31 injust over a month, did put a smile on my face though. What can I say it's my boyish good looks!

Watched the Arsenal game or tried to as by half way through the second half was having to try and focus on the t.v. with one eye shut was that drunk. Also had a phone call from my ex asking for her strengths and weaknesses before going to a work interview the next day. Not the easiest thing to do whilst half cut! Then to top it off managed to flood the kitchen.

Another day without gambling so all in all quite a good day, just a pity Arsenal didn't win!

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Didn't do much apart from studying hard for an exam on Monday evening.

A few things of note I did do during this time included spending Wednesday with the kids which is a joy recently, although they can be hard work! Saturday had a break from studying and went for a walk along the canal in the beautiful sunshine with my ex stopping off at a number of pubs along the way. A lovely day with excellent company and a few drinks chucked in for good measure, so that was nice to get away from the stress of studying. Also Sunday morning saw my sister and her husband having just got back from south Africa. Got to look at their holiday snaps which made rather envious.

Most importantly during this time though didn't gamble. A good little period even if rather stressful.

Monday. Got up early and was at uni just after 9am in preparation for my exam at 6pm. Was dreading this as massively under prepared due to everything that's been happening in my life recently. Studied hard all day and got to my exam on time, sat down and started it to find to my relief that I knew a lot more of the questions than may have been. Finished feeling relatively happy all things considered.

Obviously no gambling time in this day and an exam I'd been fearing out of the way. The exam gods had been smiling down onme!

Tuesday, worked. Went to work and met the new guy who had started whilst I'd been off for my exams, Greg. Seems a nice enough bloke, young and pretty eager. Not a particularly busy day at work especially with an extra pair of hands. We'd been a member of staff down for over four months so things should be easier day to day at work from now on. Went home and watched a bit of tv in the evening, a rather uneventful day.

Gamble free.

Wednesday. Got up early to do a bit of shopping, had to go and pick up a pair of trainers for my son's birthday which should havebeen delivered to the store I'd bought them from. However this wasn't the case. Basically they couldn't get them as they'd sold out but rather than informing me had just left me waiting to receive an email from them which was never going to arrive! After having a few words with the manager, managed to get a different pair heavily discounted so not all bad.

Picked up my ex's son from school and went back to hers where my son came round for the evening. Both of them spent most thenight on the Xbox, nothing unusual. Watched some tv with my ex before leaving to go back to my nans.

Nothing special but a nice chilled day and another without going near a fruit machine so positive.

Thursday, worked. Was due to stay at my ex's to look after the dog whilst she went away for the evening to see her mum.

So lugged a couple of heavy bags on the train to work as I had an evening meeting people from different accounting standards bodies the next night at my university and so needed to look smart and didn't have enough time to get back the following evening before it started after work. Bit of a pain in the backside having different clothes at different locations, carrying stuff from here to there and back again constantly. Anyway got a call from my ex early to say she was going to have to come back as she now had a job interview set up for Friday morning, good news at least. Finished work and went back to my ex's to sort the dog out before she got home. Watched a bit of tv and had a few beers before getting the train home after she'd got back from her mum's.

Bit of pain carrying everything about all day but for a good reason at least. Another day without any thoughts of gambling so a good one.

Friday, worked and then an evening at uni meeting different accounting standards bodies and "networking".

Spoke to my ex during the day and unfortunately her interview went well but the job wasn't really suitable due to the hours. A pity because I'd really like to see her get a good job and get her life back on track. I know things have been difficult for her recently, especially due to me.

Finished work and headed back to my ex's where I'd left my clothes the night before to get washed up. Got to the university and the evening went really well, learned a few things and was very informative. The hard part was the socializing bit which really isn't a strong area for me with people I don't know. After a few glasses of wine inside me it wasn't too bad and managed to chat with a few people, so that was good.

Quite a good day altogether and my Nan even got out of hospital finally. Gamble free again.