The start of my road to recovery!!

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I have read your post and am wondering what barriers you can put in place to stop this happening again. Willpower on its own is never quite enough and if certain obstacles are in the way it makes it more difficult to gamble.

People often mention the time, money, location triangle. Drop one and you cannot gamble.

You don't mention what your gambling vice was so here are a few pointers.

Online via computer/laptop - download blocking software, get someone else to set the password and don't let them say what it is.

Phone - trade in for a non internet version.

Bookies - self exclude

Can someone else.look after your finances?

If you go out don't take any cash?

Not all of these may help you or in fact apply to you but by putting a barrier or two in place it will help you reach your end goal.

Have you thought of 121 counselling provided by gamcare?

Have you found the location of your local GA meeting and are going to attend.

The support and advice on here is fantastic and you seem very determined with an end goal. Take things one day at a time. Look for difficult times (payday etc). Every day you don't gamble is a bonus.

Keep reading, keep posting, we are all learning and continue to learn on a daily basis.

You recovery rests with you.

Best wishes

I used to gamble online and only ever bet on sports, I have self excluded from all sites. I have stopped taking cash out when I go out to stop me playing on the fruit machines. These are the 2 things I have done to help me stop or try to help. I have considered 121 help but I'm going to see how I get on with these forums and the barriers I have put in place first. I have lost so much up to now money and loved ones and that is one of the main reasons I am pushing so hard and so determined. Having the thought of winning my fiancee back is a major part of my will to stop. A big part will be when I get payed and that is going to be the major hurdle, hearing other people's stories makes me sick about how I have become the same and when I feel sick it turns me off wanting to gamble! It sounds so easy but I know it's going to be a hard long road but I will get through it and hope to try and help others too!

Morning all, so I feel a sense of achievement, first pay day in over a year I didn't gamble, it didn't even cross my mind! I kept myself occupied thinking of Xmas presents, browsing the net getting some deals on cyber Monday, in a sense I was gambling to find the best deals by comparing websites! Trying to beat the retailers and to be fair I think I won 🙂 feeling positive and strong! Here's to another week and feeling the festive spirit!!

Hi, Russ,

Glad you hear that you're surviving pay day...but the money is still in your current account? Move it out of harm's way BEFORE you get hit by an urge. As Balvaird says, you can't rely on will power - read the forum, numerous stories of pay day lapses.

If the money isn't in your current account, you can't deposit with it. Pay what you need to pay ASAP and ask someone you trust to keep the rest and drip feed it to you. Otherwise, open an instant saver account urgently and set up DDs from your current account to come out on pay day, to pay the essentials and to move the excess into your instant saver. IS accounts are cash card only, no visa, no deposit.

If you actually do this, rather than think about it, it will help.

BW,

CW

I have someone in charge of my money which is also a big help! But I know what you mean 12 months down the line and I have been stung by the pay day feeling! Out tonight on an Xmas party another hurdle to over come! Feeling strong and moving on, it's good to hear from you all and helping massively! Thank you all and here's to us all being better people from this all!!

2 weeks down and going strong! Had a pretty bad weekend emotionally and remained strong having barriers in place to stop me clearly worked this weekend as there was no way I could gamble not that I tried but if there wasn't these barriers it could have been a different story! Moving forward and feeling much better for it! Hope you all have had a successful weekend and also moving forward! Keep up the good work team and stay strong!!

That's why sone of us call recovery a rollercoaster...Not always enjoying it but definitely don't want to get off 🙂

A massive congratulations on your 1st fortnight & a big welcome to recovery 🙂

Barriers sound solid which is great for those weak moments but just wondering if your loved ones are aware there is help here for them if they need it! I'm guessing by your suggestion of getting them back that there is hope for a future with them? Maybe now you're head isn't clouded in the gambling fog you have some extra time for your 'daughter' - step child or otherwise, you are a role model to her & time is a precious gift for a child!

If the emotions continue to batter you, no harm in picking up the phone! Although it feels like it @ the time, this addiction isn't just about money & sounding off to a stranger may help make sense of some of it.

Keep fighting - ODAAT

They are aware of the help and my ex fiancee series advice when it all came to light! Something I wish I had done earlier but hind sight is a wonderful thing! I am still holding hope for there being a future but that's the thing about the weekend things changed and I'm not sure what's going on, but still I have to prove to them that I can do this and will continue to fight for them, if it fails I know I will be in a much better happier place financially and emotionally! I am really appreciative of the help that's here just hearing from people on these blogs help massively but I know there is further help should it come to it! For now it's time to hit my next target of 1 month and keep fighting through these emotional days and nights that occur! I'm enjoying this 'roller coaster' I'm riding right now, it's a challenging ride but it is full of lots of surprises and achievements!!

Once again many thanks for all your comments it's the best thing I did and your all very helpful!

Russ

3 weeks done, and feeling positive it can remain this way! Still a long way off I know but I know I'm strong enough to do it!

Happy Xmas to you all and here's to a fresh start for us all in 2016 and a better life style away from this addiction!!

Russ

Just reading my original posts from 5 years ago - if only I had taken the extra support and advice back then - I thought I knew better but clearly the addiction beat me! 

Just over 12 months ago I finally admitted I had a major problem, £60k of debt and not knowing how to stop! I opened up to my wife and told her everything, she was devastated, heartbroken, she felt cheated! She had bailed me out financially twice before and I promised I would stop! We had then only just brought a house, I was lucky to not lose my home my life my wife and my job! I started my road to recovery again, after a few days she came around and offered to support me through it all - last Saturday she brought a little gift bag into me and said happy 1 year - there was a card saying I’m so proud of you, a few little gifts and she is taking me away to a lodge for a short break next week!

she believed in me, she never left me, she supported me and she has pushed me to continue with all my sessions, group chats and keeping all the blocks in place and continuously reviewing them to ensure they are still out of reach! I don’t want to return to gambling my life is much better - the transparency, honesty and open talking with my wife has made our relationship so much better and stronger and I am great full for the support I have received from GamCare and fellow addicts over the last 12 months to get me to where I am today! 

if you take away anything from my update it is - talking about your problem and being open and transparent is one thing that I found the key to my success so far!