Thought I'd start a diary...

All the best on your journey through recovery and well done for coming here and sharing.

I too gambled compulsively for the last 8 yrs although without many breaks was pretty hard at it on the roulette. I lost a lot of money via taking out a pay day loan on 30/05/14...

Something changed after that though and I finally admitted i was beaten by this addiction and couldnt carry on living this shameful life anymore.

Today is 27 days without a bet my advice would be to take it one day at a time as that is the only day we can control the present and if you can put as much effort into stopping as we do into gambling then the chance of recovery is great.

I have found that deep down I really want to stop this time and stay stopped and that is motivating me to continue.

Going for walks, running, being involved in sport playing 5 a side and working plenty of hours as also provided some distractions from the temptations and urges which may be something you could try!

Good luck on your journey!

Cheers for the reply Garthcrooks. Good to hear from people in a similar situation.

Today is day 3 for me, trying to keep myself busy and avoid temptation. Playing 5 a side later at 8 o clock actually so that will entertain me for a while.

I knew I had a massive problem when I managed to turn 10 into 1400 recently. Withdrawing those winnings and what I would spend it on never entered my mind however. It was just more gambling tokens and meant I could play for longer. Worrying

When you're sat playing roulette for hours on end and you're not bothered whether you win or lose, but just want to play, it's time to seek help I think.

Good luck to you too, and well done reaching 27 days

I can relate to the online thing. I've always loved slots and arcades, but my gambling only really became a problem (ie I began losing control) when I started in online casinos. I've had many a credit card ran up to its limit, and overdrafts too. Followed by loans to consolidate. I'd be fine for months and the cycle would start over. It's so easy to click a button and not care or consider what you're doing or spending.

Well done on facing your problem and coming here.

Take all the help and support you can.

Me? After a few slips. I've told the bank to not allow me online access to loans or overdrafts and to swap my debit card for an ATM only card. Now I cannot gamble online. Phew. Even tonight, on day ten, I'm having urges when I see those bingo ads on tv. If I could've, I think maybe I would've. Scary. Cos we all know what this awful compulsion destroys.

Good luck on your journey. And if I've learned anything it's to not beat yourself up over past losses and slips. Pick yourself up and focus on the wonderful future you can have x

Thanks for taking the time to post Pinky, appreciated. I've been reading about how gambling effects the brain this afternoon. Interesting.

I think in the past I used it as a means of escaping problems in my life (unhealthy relationship, unhappy in my job). Now, I suspect I've been drawn back to it as I must subconciously miss the buzz you get from playing. Im going to spend some time finding things which may replace that, hobbies etc

Onwards and upwards

So day 4 today, no temptations as of yet, and I do have money available in the bank. Have spent this morning installing free K9 software onto the home computers, and set the password as complete gibberish which I cant even remember already! Have checked and it blocks all gambling sites, so hopefully will prove to be a handy safeguard.

Not at work until Monday nightshift now, so that's a lot of time where temptation could creep in. Going to do some housework and exercise and then read a book I've had for ages but never had time (spent free time playing roulette!). Homage to Catolonia by George Orwell.

Feel better just for not having gambled for four days! I'm also finding that writing this diary is both theraputic and strengthening my reslove.

Andy

Well done Andy on your four days of freedom.

Good that you have installed K9 - it works very well for me.

The George Orwell book is good. If it whets your appetite for more on the Spanish Civil War I recommend "As I walked out one midsummer morning" by Laurie Lee - a lovely coming of age book. Isn't it nice to be able to have time now to pursue other things rather than stupid roulette wheels and slots?

Take care,

Joanna

Thanks for the post Joanna, and also for the book recommendation. I love reading, especially books about history, I'll give that one a read when I've finished this one. I read a brilliant one about 6 months ago called Alone in Berlin by Hans Fallada, if you've never read it, it's excellent.

You're right, it feels good to be able to spend time doing more productive things rather than sitting at a computer watching a wheel spin round, followed by that awful feeling of self-loathing.

Feeling positive today

Andy

Hi Longshot

Just wanted to say well done on 4 days and how positive and determined you sound

Keep going and keep strong

Best wishes

Suzanne x

So, day 5 today. Yet to have any temptation to gamble, still feeling positive and determined.

Had a good day yesterday, went out running, cleaned the house, read, and then a couple of friends came round for a few beers, which was nice.

I am finding that posting on this forum and talking about things really does help. Looking forward to the world cup games later on, Brazil v Chile should be a great game.

Anyway, have a nice Saturday everyone

Andy

Another day gone, onto day 6 today. No temptations yesterday, feeling good. Each day that passes, the stronger I feel, I'm really determined this time.

I'm finding that keeping busy is helping, probably my biggest enemy and cause of temptation is boredom. Especially on a day like today when the other half is at work all day. However I'm off to see my mam for a few hours this afternoon, who I've not seen for a a while due to me being on holiday and then her being away.

Enjoyed those world cup games last night, that Brazil v Chile match was fantastic.

Have a good day everyone

Andy

I've reached day 7! A week. Still yet to have any temptations, think largely as I've been keeping busy, and I've accepted that the money I've lost is gone. Every day that passes feels like a win, like 0 coming in on the roulette table!

Just logged into my online banking. That awful feeling when you see all of the online casino deposits, usually all in the space of one day. 100, 80, 70 etc all in a flurry, really shameful. Extremely determined not to feel like that anymore, almost checking my bank balance with my hands over my eyes!

Anyway a week done, and feeling pretty good.

Andy

Hi LS

Very well done on reaching one whole week free from gambling

Yes it is very shameful to see all the transactions on the bank statement but it is a great feeling when the next months have none whatsoever

Keep feeling good and stay strong and positive

Suzanne x

Thanks Suzanne. You're right, next months should make better reading!

Day 8. Still going strong! Feeling good, well as good as you can feel when you're one shift into a stint of five nightshifts!

Haven't even been tempted yet, despite the constant e mails from online casinos!