Time to change

Great post westsider,

Sometimes looking back helps us understand and allows us to look forward.

Your right there is no need to go back ? Why would we ?. Keep moving forward, Keep making plans for your future.

Enjoy your week.

Blondie x

Another grey day, I keep asking why. Whipped up swirls in a candy floss sky. The weather is doing my head in. I need my vitamin D. There has to be light at the end of this gloomy tunnel. To make things worse I have hurt my foot and it's painful to walk at the moment. So if I don't go for my walk today It's down to my injury not lack of will power.

Recently I've been thinking about my where my life is going and I have come up with 3 possible directions. Option one is continuing my work in sport state side (preferably somewhere hot.) Two is making a living from poetry and lyrics and three is starting my own adventure brand business. In an ideal world I would like to do all these things to some extent. It's good to have something to work towards. NO GAMBLING TODAY

You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly

Hiya westsider...

Whipped up swirls in a candy floss sky...i like it!

The weather is a nightmare for sure and glad you are on your Vit D..thats my line of work..including Herbals and superfoods,organics,raw food movement etc ...but I don't wear sandals or eat lentils...lol

Arnica gel for your foot....especially if it feels bruised.

Thinking of your career options here and wondering if you can do both 1 and 2?..not sure where you live but am guessing when you say state sports you want to move to the USA?

Great poetry stuff going on at Londons festival hall right now,..great to see the younger ones getting involved too ..

Hope your day/week picks up....blowing away those clouds for ya ..

Rach and Doo xx

Hi Westsider, thank u 4 ur post on my diary and the quotes. I really enjoyed reading thru them. Thanks 🙂

U r doing brilliant 🙂

I hope u have a gr8 day!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

It would be great to live in the USA one day. I have some friends in California, It's been a long time since I last visited but I love the positivity that exudes from most Americans. The UK seems to be more pessimistic. I also enjoy the attention my accent brings.

My foot is getting better, the swelling is going down, I was itching to go for a long walk today but I think resting It is the best option for now. I should be healed up before I leave for my festival (no pun intended.) I'm also interested in herbology and reflexology. Have you got any tips on how to beat hayfever? The arnica gel will make a good addition to the family medicine cupboard.

I am appreciating life at the moment, counting my blessing. Gradually making peace with myself. When I gambled I was consumed with desire, constantly seeking more. Yet I'm lucky to have what I have; a loving family, great friends, and hundreds of fantastic memories. At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. It's not all about the £££

The best things in life aren't things!

I have finished work for the week and am gearing up for a long long weekend away. I have a bit of money in my account for the first time in a while & I have no urge to gamble with it.

I'm definitely making progress & I feel the reason for this is dedicating myself to my recovery. I post on here everyday. It takes no time at all but reminds me I have a problem and keeps it fresh in my mind. I think my problem before was thinking that my gambling wasn't that bad & I could dip in and out when I wanted. This is why it took me so long to put my blocks in place.

A compulsive gambler can't just dip in and out. Because once I start I find it very hard to stop. It's a no brainer really - don't start in the first place! I have no interest in going back, I know there will probably come a time when I am tempted again but If I keep visiting this website day in day out then I am sure I wont give in.

I'm stronger than I was before and I wouldn't be If my journey up to this point had been different. Everything happens for a reason If I hadn't relapsed the way I did then I wouldn't be sitting here posting for the 14th day in a row. The chain will most likely be broken on Friday because I'm going far away from computers but my willpower will remain.

Willpower is essential to the accomplishment of anything worthwhile.

Hiya Westsider...

Just on the alternative medicine front....anything with an anti histamine effect...some people swear by Vit C high does and Quercetin...

Also on the herbal side there is a complex called Luffa in a tincture....works homoeopathically but with herbs.

Alcohol can aggrivate it as can mucus forming foods like bananas and milk..

Hope that helps...its trial and error with hayfever but those nasal sprays can be steroidal from the docs...but if you have to resort to them then go with it....if only short term.

keep posting hun

Rach and Doo xx

I'm off to a secret garden party tomorrow, all my costumes are pack and I'm ready and raring to go. I had to get a small payday loan to cover the costs but overall I have turned my month around. I've turned my mind around & I wont turn back! I'm going to book a holiday when I get paid and the future is looking bright. A gamble free future,

I probably won't be posting again until Monday but I'm determined to stick with the forum when I get back. A big thank you to everybody who uses this site for giving me inspiration and advice. You'll be hearing (reading) from me very soon.

In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed.

Make sure that you pay back that loan as soon as possible, eh?

Otherwise you will be facing a lot more costs.

NT

I've had a lovely holiday. Went to a great festival and have spent some quality time with my family. Yet I'm back, still gamble free and determined to stay that way!

I have had the opportunity to post the last week or so, but I have been a mixture of lazy and busy. Excuses excuses I know but there you go. I'm trying to change as a person but it's hard to shift all my bad habits at once. Being committed is a trait I'm working on.

I need to get back to where I left off. I think I posted everyday for two weeks. I aim to post 15 times in the next 14 days & beat my record. I have paid off my little loan, booked a holiday to Columbia and I'm starting a mini detox.

I've had a few flickering urges since pay day but I've batted them off like pesky flies. It's also good to know block are in place. Anyhow heres to a new start of sorts.

If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves.

Lacking some inspiration at the moment. Life is a little dull and so is the weather. NO gambling but I need to spice things up a little bit, yet there are very few free activities around these part that will get my juices flowing.

At the moment It feels like I need constant stimulation. I want to buzz but everything that gets me high is bad for me. I'm getting a belly from the drink a cough from the smoke. In fact I need to give up smoking, It's pointless. I'm getting back on my E-cigs

One day I'm spiritual the next day I'm crazy then lazy then hyper then reserved then confident. I'm a miss match of different personally all fighting for position in my head. I have a good side and a dark side & it feels like a constant battle between the two. Sometimes its confusing being human. Maybe I just need to sleep more and walk more, post more..

Just having a muzzlejubed moment. needed to get it out. This evening an extra long meditation is required. My natural state is quite tranquil but my minds like an ocean; sometimes it gets whipped up. Storms can be dangerous by they subside. My waves are calming, calmer, calmed.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Had fun at the Olympics yesterday; a little too much fun, got blatoed and have been lazing around all day recovering. MUST STOP WASTING DAYS. Gotsta post to keep to my quota, gunna type out a longer entry later. No Gambling, I wont go back. Need a detox!

Saints are sinners who kept on going.

Yo,

I can totally relate to your last couple of posts .

I think demotivation is all part of this recovery journey .

I went through a stage when I could not be asrsed to do anything other than work and the bare minimum.

I have read of others on here going through the same , Flagg and Castle to name but 2 .

Eventually you come out the other side . It maybe our brains and bodies needing a rest after everything our addiction put us through . It maybe missing the buzz or extreme high or lows. Everything in my life when I was gambling was very up or very down.

Now I believe I have found my middle . It does not give me the adrenaline rush gambling did , nor dies it give me the sleepless night and constant worry I had before .

Sort of been in my middle a while now , do not crave that extreme life back . Just get up everyday and get on with living as I suppose the rest of the world does.

It takes time , but I hope you can regain your equilibrium .

Shiny xxxxx

I have regained my equilibrium for now. Still no gambling, I'm over the first month barrier. I was really inspired yesterday watching the athletics last night. I got really choked up, the buzz you must get from having 80,000 people cheering every stride. ELECTRIC!

I know I’m not going to reach the Olympics but sport has always been a big part of my life. It was my life until about 16 when the naughty stuff started taking over. I'm a competent sportsman, good with a racket and in the pool. I also work at one of the best sports facilities in the country & everything is free for me to use. I really need to get active.

One of the best buzzes you can get is from working really hard in a race or in training; your heart is racing, your alive, exhausted but alive. I will start real slow maybe a swim and a few little workouts next week and take it from there.

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

The Watch & the Dragonfly.

It sounds like a crazy title to a book, yet it’s the story of my life over the last couple of days. I’ll start with the watch, my granddads watch, he is sadly no longer with us. It’s a basic gold coloured watch not really worth anything but I selected it from his collection after he died a couple of years back. About a year ago almost to the day after a mad gambling binge I took it to a pawn shop because I was desperate for some stake. The woman took it off of me and was about to give me some cash for it, but her manger stopped her because it wasn’t real gold and gave back.

At the beginning of last month I sold it on *******, I send it off in a brown envelope with a first class stamp, trying and make some extra money out of the postage. It was send back to me last week because it had been held up in the post, the bidder wasn’t happy about paying the extra postage and it wasn’t gold. It was like it didn’t want to leave me. The battery has run out and there is a small *** in the screen. On Saturday night the night of the gold medal rush during the Olympics, I set the hands to 11:11:11 in remembrance of my granddad and put it on my wrist at exactly that time.

My parent were at the Olympic stadium that night and when my mum returned the next day and without realising I had the watch on told me that my Granddad had told her to go to the Olympic before he died & it felt like he was watching. A coincidence maybe, but a good story nether the less and I have been wearing the watch ever since. It’s reminder not to gamble. Sometimes things that may not be worth much can turn out to have a special significance.

My Nan who is also no longer with us collected broaches and had many dragonflies in her collection. I was walking down to the river a few days ago, thinking about animals and what my power animal might be and a small swam of vibrant dragonflies started following me on my journey. It felt something stur inside and realised that they were my sacred animal. I later found out that the dragonfly inhabits two realms, air and water. The first two years of their life dragonflies live in the water, on the bottom of ponds and streams. As they age they go through metamorphosis and take to the air. As water represents the emotional body and air represents the mental, those with this power animal will frequently find themselves trying to maintain balance between their thoughts and emotions.

I’m a stereotypical Aquarian. We will soon to be entering the age of Aquarius. Its an air sign but the symbol associated with it is the water bearer. Dragonflies are always flying around and into things from different angles; they challenge rigid awareness and prompt the energy of change. This power animal is especially helpful for those who feel stuck, or are unable to grow spiritually and for those who feel blocked in their creativity. Dragonflies helps us remember that 'ordinary, every day' physical reality isn't all that is available to us. Its rainbow wings remind us we live in a world of magic.

I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.