Time to change

I’m gradually growing up, learning to say no, starting to let go of the past. I’m starting to believe I can live the life of a non gambler. Having more isn’t always better. You don’t really need much money to live an exciting and fulfilling life. It’s best to cherish the things you have and anything else is a bonus.

The happiest people do not have the best of everything they make the best of everything.

Hi Westsider,

U r doing brilliant, wot a gr8 post about the watch. It's the little things, sometimes I think things do really happen 4 a reason. I love the quote on ur last post. So true 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Westsider,

Just popping in2 check u r ok?

Have a gr8 wknd 🙂

It's been a while.

But I'm back and thankfully still gamble free! It been nearly 4 months (which is pretty good for me.) However my life has become a bit topsy turvy. I'm starting to stagnate and fall back into my old lazy ways. Too many lazy days.

I clicked onto a gambling site today at work and some feelings came rushing back; luckily I closed it down before any damage could be done. I've been down this rabbit hole before and believe me it doesn't lead to wonderland.

So back to the diary and a new start of sorts. Still the same regulars on the forum all doing well, which is nice to see. I wish everyone a great weekend & I'll be back next week, with renewed vigour.

5 things I like about my life.

I have a great family and lots of friends.

I'm healthy.

I enjoy my job.

I still have time to achieve my dreams.

I haven't gambled for 121 days.

great to see your still going strong westsider and even better to see that your more aware of what stagnating can bring, Use your diary read lots of newcomers posts I find it really helps me keep focused and I can get something back by giving them support.

That list of things you like about your life will just keep growing if you keep adding to those gamble free days.

Well done

Blondie

I’m getting some strong thoughts about gambling today. So I’m doing the right thing and posting here! I have given up for extended amounts of time in the past but always seem to go back.

My social life is buzzing at the moment, I’ve probably been out 10 times this month and It’s great to have the funds to do that. I can function quite happily in the world after a big night out.

It’s the days after a gambling binge I use to hate. Going to work after barely sleeping. Constantly mulling things over and over in my mind. It’s horrible and not worth going back to. Gambling made me fill sick. Gambling is a sickness and I won’t go back.

I didn't make it all the way to the beach to drown in the sand.

I'm at that point in my recovery where the pain has faded. My last gambling fix seems like a long time ago & there is a little piece of me that thinks it will be OK to go back.

I know deep down that I can't just have one bet or 1 hour of poker. If I start again, who knows where I will end up, all I know is that it won't be pretty. It could take a few days or even a few months but eventually I will find the pain and have to start the recovery process all over again, racked with feelings of guilt and self loathing.

I think I have grown as a person. I have more will power than before and I know myself. I've been in his position many times before and caved in. Today I will be strong. You have to live your life day by day and Today I won't gamble.

Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.

142 days gamble free and counting

HI Westsider,

You know deep down you cant have one bet keep hold of that thought because like me that one bet dragged me back into the madness so many times before.

We are stronger and wiser now and although the memories and the pain fades of the damage we do when we gamble the reality is the result will always be the same.

Your doing great still, keep building that resilience and that willpower to keep heading in the right direction, as far away from gambling as possible.

Well done on the 142 days.

Blondie

I'm back again making my 100th post. I guess that is some sort of mile stone!

Sadly I'm not back with great news. I have had a couple of slips over the last month or so. In the scheme of things nothing that serious but I'm still disappointed with myself.

I got complacent and started playing poker again. It seems to be my nemesis, my evil mistress (I'm going to write a poem about her, starting with that line.)

I've had a disjointed day my minds been all over the place. I Felt pretty down for the first time in a long time.

Didn't sleep last night. I've just woken from a few hours shut eye and I've got my composure back.

I have actually had a really good Christmas. I was more generous this year. I've caught up with old friends. Paid off an overdraft and I still have a little bit of money left for the rest of the month.

I'm always going to be a compulsive gambler in recovery. Yet nothing will ever destroy my hope. I will never stop believing I can beat this vice. This is going to be a great year. With a little more discipline and commitment to the cause I can ditch this evil mistress for good.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

I've had a lovely day. I'm feeling happy and focused. I just had a read back through my diary and I must come across as some sort of madman. I'm constantly vowing to never gamble again & then a couple of months later I'm back on it.

However each time I go back the ferocity of the gambling doesn't seem to be as intense as yester year. I realize I'm not in control sooner and I stop before I do anything really detrimental to my future.

I'm gradually learning my lesson. I'm getting better. I'm growing, I'm positive about beating this. My first goal is 6 months. Its a good mark to aim for because I haven't made it past half a year before.

Each mistake teaches you something new about yourself. There is no failure, remember, except in no longer trying. It is the courage to continue that counts.

Blocks. Blocks. Blocks.

Get them in!

Together, we will all beat the stupid, pointless gambling madness.

NT

As NT says get them blocks in place that'll help massively. Well done for coming back on here and it's great that your positive about the year to come. Thank you for your post and I look forward to following your progress. 6 months would be amazing but I'd start small try and get to a month then three months then on to 6. 3 months is a massive milestone I know GA speak about it as a big thing. Stay positive and keep making the right choices and you will get there but I must say get some self exclusions on those accounts. If you really want to quit then that'll help big time. At the very least get a deposit limit on there so at least the damage can be limited but if your sure you want to stop exclude yourself. If your like me it'll feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Good luck buddy and thanks for your post always love reading some kind words.

I did have blocks in place but some how I found a way around them. I'm going to bar my card from the poker site I always use. It's a good statement of intent.

I didn't really think about gambling much today. I talked about it with a few friends and everyone one agrees I should leave it alone. Yet it's weird to think if someone I was playing cards against hadn't hit a flush on the river then I'd probably still be at it. I guess everything happens for a reason.

Been on a new health kick recently and I'm so unfit compared to how I used to be (before gambling.) I need to channel my addictive personality into something positive. like getting into shape.

Health is the greatest of all possessions; a pale cobbler is better than a sick king.

Today I have called up and self excluded my account, The only on-line account I have. A lot of people talk about having as many blocks in place as possible, which I agree with but if I really wanted to gamble I could find a way.

Yes blocks are helpful but Its down to your will power and discipline. I haven't conquered the part of me that wants to gamble, but I am gradually winning the battles to finally win the war. I'm a stronger person since I first started posting on this forum and I am getting stronger.

I have never had a problem with bookmakers. I haven't been in one for about a year. There are no casinos near where I live. My main problem is on-line been poker because I like to believe I'm quite good at it. Well "I AM NOT!" I've lost so much money and time to it. I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED. Good bye and good riddance.

This is my definitive goodbye, I have no aptitude for this. If I held on, my hands would soon only clutch at emptiness.

I had a great time last night going out with my friends and I didn't spend any money. usually I would spend at least £40 getting liqueur'd up. When I have money I have to spend it or waste it. Never really been a saver.

Had a conversation with a mate about are financial situations and we came to the conclusion we can't live hedonistic life styles any more. I have gone through life pretty much doing what I want when I want. Its been fun, a mad roller-coaster but mixed in with that there has been some horrible moments, usually associated with gambling. As my thread states its time to change.

Not just to stop the gambling but also to address other issues in my life like alcohol and general fitness. Things have been going well since my last slip. Just got to keep on going.

The arrogance of success is to think that what we did yesterday is good enough for tomorrow