Time to get my life back

My suggestion to you gem is just keep busy and eat something! Sounds simple enough lol your bf or ex or whatever were calling him is still feeling hurt and that's understandable. You lied to him and promised no more,he's hurt but like you said earlier you just need to focus on you and take those positive steps to beat this. Once the dust settles the lines of communication may open and you can point out the steps you've taken and the progress you've made however if he doesn't want to come back then that's his choice just stay strong and keep up with your recovery. I wish you well

Thankyou all, your kind words are so supportive and eye opening, I think I'm just a big ball of emotions at the moment, one minute I'm fine the next I'm crying, i think its all the sudden realization of what I've done, my heart aches and my head hurts but I'm trying to keep my smile

It's a tough time Hun, things will work themselves out one way or another. One thing for sure is gambling won't make it any better. The simplest way I think about it is if u don't place that 1st bet the 2nd and 3rd will never come.

So put as many blocks in place to avoid the first one use the support you now have and consider outside support like counselling and GA.

Keep sharing and reading on here it does help.

KTF

so nearing the end of the day, no urges, the thought makes me sick, no contact with the ex but he did post a picture of us both on social media, I'm not sure if it's a 'I'm here thinking about you but don't wanna talk right now' post or a kinda last post to end a erea, either way I'll be thinking way too much into it! My family have been great today, I've spent a lot of time with them, time I've missed out of by isolating myself to my bedroom , now gunna sit with a glass of wine and chill with my family infront on the tv! It's the nights I dread the most, the sleepless nights and bad dreams, but hopefully they will pass, I ate lunch and dinner today so that's positive, not hungry but I ate, one step at a time! Lots of support, love and emotional chats over cups of tea but I'm finally seeing the light :)!

Ok here's a small tip. Look at your last post compared to where j met you on the chat room? You've came a long way in a short space of time and it's for the best! Every step you make is for the best. You need to get better for you. I think your ex still loves you but he's still hurting,why don't you tell him to read stuff on here? Gamcare is for gamblers and those effected. Your doing well gem just keep going 🙂

Thankyou new, you've really made me feel good about my progress, it sounds silly but it's a nice thing to hear that somebody else is praising you, even though I'm doing this myself. It's bedtime now, my eyes are getting heavy and my brain is overthinking and making me feel sick, I should go up to bed but the thought of being in it alone when I've shared it with somebody for so long hurts. I will defiantly tell him to look on here if we start talking again, but for now this is my sanctuary where I feel safe and supported. Hopefully tomorrow the company about my counseling contacts me so I can start that off, I'm feeling really excited about that really. ( I know sounds ridiculous) but I can't wait to just vent to somebody who's not family or loved one, but for now, I'm tired. I plan to turn my phone off and read my book until I fall asleep. Let's hope for a goods night sleep in preporation for a gamble free day tomorrow! Night night all!

So... The sleep last night wasn't great, late night early wake up, but oh well. This morning it's been me and my mum in the house and she's been telling me about how my dad liked to gamble, my nan and grandad liked to gamble and lost a lot, and how my younger brother was also caught gambling but said he's spending too much to stopped, and we had a great discussion about addition and the chemicals being hereditary. I've spoken to my boyfriend (yes boyfriend!!) and he's coming home today, we've had a good chat and I've promised to be honest, he just wanted to be away from me this weekend to show me what I could loose, and boy did it work. I've cut up my debit card and applied for a new one with a different code on the back, this shall be kept in my mums purse and if I want to do some shopping online she shall enter the details, goodbye PayPal account also! I'm feeling great today, gamble free, not interested, don't want to be that person! Going to start my day off with some healthy breakfast, catching up with Telly and then if the weather picks up hopefully go out for a walk- leaving the phone at home!

Like I said just a blip on the road 🙂 glad to hear things are moving in a more positive direction.Recovery is a long journey and it's one that we are on for life but we all have to start somewhere and you sound like your doing not to bad already. Enjoy your walk and let's get those gf days up! 🙂

I'm so happy for you! Hopefully it continues to go well. Try not to be complacent and keep on going! #:)

Thankyou both! I think I'm just on abit of a high at the moment, but ofcourse I understand this is a long and difficult process, I just feel so relived within myself!

That’s good news and i dont want to put a downer on your day but i have to say this.

I had several last chance, seperated for a few days like you was warned don’t it again or that’s it, i did it again and got another last chance and another you get the picture, eventually the chances ran out, I arrived back home to the black bin bags with all my stuff in them, had to say goodbye to my son and went knocking on my parents door. They took me in but wasn’t happy I’m still there nearly a year on, I do see my son regularly but it’s not the same.

I guess what I’m trying to say is heed the warning eventually your luck will run out in life if you keep trying your luck with gambling

KTF

Ahhhh no I completely understand where you are coming from, I know how easy it is for me to say at this point in time this is it! Never again! As I have stopped and gone back before, but I don't know, this time feels different now people around me know. I know how easy it is to slip back in and lie but overal I'm in a better frame of mind and I'm happier generally in life than what I was before. I'm focusing on positives rather than negatives, focusing on right now, a day at a time, and it seems to be helping.

Today has been a good day, supportive boyfriend and family, time to spend some quality time and I'm feeling like I'm going to sleep well tonight!

Good night! Hopefully you wake up tomorrow with the same spirit

Good morning! And that's what it is a good morning, I've woken up after an amazing sleep feeling great. Today is a busy day, got shopping to do and a doctors appointment to have a minor surgery!!!! The company contacted about myself getting a councilor haven't contacted me as of yet, but that's okay I was told it may take a few days, I'm not worried though. My boyfriends just left for work after some morning cuddles, I'm about to jump in the shower and get my day started! This addiction will not beat me, I'm up strong and fighting, no urges today, still not interested, this is my money and those blood sucking online casino's won't take it from me! Back to work tomorrow after having a week off, a long 12 hour shift, excited to go back! Now to get ready for the day.... Keep the fight up guys, stay strong. Xo