Gee thanks I'm blushing lol the truth is I only gave some advice and encouragement you could've ignored this but I think deep down you knew what to do. You came here seeking refuge and comfort and found that through like minded souls but the truth is your a tough cookie and once you accepted your weakness you had already beaten it. It's still early days for both our recoveries but I ain't going back there and I know you ain't! You have a great family and bf around you,enjoy your weekend 🙂
So tired but can't sleep, reading through posts on here and it's really devastating, people in thousands of pounds of debt, loosing partners, children, family, jobs, friendships, people that have attempted to end their lives because of this horrible addiction hanging over them, it makes me sad, and without sounding judgemental I would hate to be in that position, I'm glad I've turned my life around now, without debt or ruining a family home. I have so much sympathy for people in those positions, and pray that they see the light and keep on a steady road and get the support and guidance they need, I just think I'm in a reflective mood tonight, which I think Is a good thing, a little self reflection can really make you open your eyes.
10 days gamble free, 10 days into a new life and I'm feeling great! Today I got up early instead of lying in bed till mid afternoon which I used to normally do because I just felt so deflated, I went out for a walk and got some bits to make a cake, and also sorted out a savings account, now to spend some time with the boyfriend baking and then a family takeaway and film nigh tonight! Today is going to be another great gamble free day!
Had a good day, chilled now watching x-factor with a glass of wine and some chocolate cake that I made earlier! Been thinking back on the past year and the money I could of saved (not a clever move I know), it makes me sad but I know money can be re-made and saved, it's not the end of the world, worst things happen and I have a good job and now I'm excited to save save save! And hopefully next year move out with my boyfriend, that would be what I'm aiming for and I've never wanted something so bad! Onwards and upwards, no looking back only forwards!
So nearing the end of the day, I've had a really great weekend! Woken up early every day and been productive! I'm feeling great, even my mum said she's seen such a positive change in my mood over the last 11 days, back to work tomorrow morning, a lovely 12 hour shift but I'm sure the ward will keep me busy! Been reading through so diarys today and the support going round is great! Here's to another gamble free day tomorrow! Now for a glass of prosecco and a chill infront of the tv for some x-factor!
Had the worst day ever at work, non stop for 12 hours with no break, no time for a drink or a bite to eat or to even wee! I'm worn out and over worked, but 12 days gamble free and still going strong, I'm making plans, keeping busy and looking forward to life!
14 days down, feeling great. I love the feeling of not worrying about money and making plans for the end of the month ( which I would never ever do before because I never had money by the end of the month!!), I'm having a rubbish time at work which means I would normally turn to gambling, but I'm not I'm focusing on actually fixing the problems at work and not running and hiding on slots! Totally new outlook on life, happy happy happy!
Well done! It's nice to see that you've changed your train of thought. Many of us use problems in life as an excuse to gamble I know I did in the past but the effective solution is to tackle your problems and deal with things this helps with your recovery and continued abstinence. When I had a rough day or was arguing or had bills etc I'd find comfort in the fobts but now I realise this was like pouring petrol on a fire! Crazy I know but that's what we do eh or that's what we did! It's nice to see you updating your diary as it helps you jot down stuff but also it can show people that this addiction can be beaten. Get the mental attitude right and the gf days will follow. Well done 🙂
2 weeks hie time flys. You will have up and down days but they become less and you learn to deal with them.
Keep going the way you are posting and reading it helps.
KTF
Day 17... still going strong, I've had some better days at work which is great. The other morning my boyfriend started questioning me about money and I got mad, I didn't mean too but I'm so proud of myself at the moment with my recovery and money it just felt like he was putting me down, but I know full well he's just worried about me and he has his own doubts, were okay now though, he said he belives and trusts me and I know this is gunna be a long road and trust needs to be rebuilt. I love him so much and don't want to let him down. Tomorrow I'm off work and going out for dinner with some friends and then I'm on some positive reinforcement training this week for challenging behaviors and I'm looking forward to it! Onwards and upwards through everything good or bad.
Tonight was a good night until about 5 mins ago, my boyfriend was talking to his best friend and his friend asked if he was still living with me and my boyfriend said yeh, so I asked why he asked that question and he said he told his bestfriend all about my gambling.... this put me in an instant low mood, I understand he needed someone to talk to, but his friends got a big mouth, and it wasn't his problem/secret to share... I dunno I understand on his side he needed that support from somebody, but I don't know I suppose ita just the shame of somebody else knowing, maybe somebody who does not understand the addiction, pretty sure that more people than him probably know now and I can't bare the thought of being somebody's joke... I dunno, the tears are coming, the guilt and anxiety is flowing and I need to put on a strong face. Still gamble free, still enjoy it, just this point was a low one.
I can understand your feelings about your boyfriend talking to his mate...like you said though....he needs support as well
Let's hope he's a decent mate and respects that he has been confidded in...
For me ...as my days mounted up and I started to understand more I was able to talk to more people about my addiction. ...the guilt does ease...and now for me it's gone....all your emotions will take a while to settle love
As for trust....yes that takes a while....hence why total transparency is needed....my hubby can look at bank account...online history whenever he wants... gives him peace of mind....your doing great love....keep plodding on x
28 days gamble free. This has been far too easy so far, which scares me because is the worst part coming?
Firstly. ..well done on the 28 days...that's great ..
You said " it's been easy...is there worse to come " ?
Jeez. ..that's a hard one...
I've no idea love...urges can come from know where....you've only got to read diaries from people who relapse after long periods to see that as compulsive gamblers we can never let out guard down. ...Will it happen to you ?
Let's hope not...
I was very aware in my early days that the raw pain from it all ....kept me safe....that actually the thought of playing made me feel sick....however. ...I would just say....keep those barriers high...and the triangle broke.....just in case ....I'm sure some more experienced posters will advise you soon x
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