Time to live not just Exist

You can! Welcome to recovery mate 🙂

I made it another 7 years before realising that 'recovery is possible' (cheers Ade2 for the phrase)! Not sure what steps you have taken to break your Time-Money-Locatiom triangle but you didn't ask for advice so just dropping in to pledge my support! Great decision to stop chasing those losses, they are only money...You have something far more important in your life - you!

If you do decide to tell your wife, (& this is highly recommended) please know that Gamcare offers support to loved ones as well!

Time to get your life back - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT

Thanks for your post, all advice is welcome of course. i am wrestling with telling my wife, she does know i have had problems in the past and she does know i am in some debt but will have no idea of the extent.

I know it will be hard to do this without her knowing though but i simply don't have the courage at this point

In Truth i have no idea how this is all going to play out, i'm just waiting for that counter to turn to 2 days

You will get to 2...One minute or one second @ a time if need be! Have a look @ Mr Brightside's exit post in the 2014 challenge if you're after a starting point for reading. I expect your wife will know something is up anyway (witches the lot of us) but if you're not ready then who am I to push...Recovery is bespoke & you need to choose the tools that work best for you!

Time to fight - ODAAT

Thanks i'll take a look

Hi,

Well done for starting recovery but a word from the other side which you should NOT allow to put you off. Please do stick with it.

I'm long term married, family growing up. My husband is a CG, he'd been living the lie for over ten years. What's caused me the biggest problem is not the addiction and the loss of money, it's that he didn't ever have the guts to tell me and he let us all find out the hard way. Amongst everything else, I can't even respect him for finally coming clean. For me, his lack of guts makes what would otherwise have been forgivable much more difficult to get over.

I wish you well in your recovery,

CW

Hi never to late to turn things around. Stay strong as the debts will just get bigger if you continue whereas now you have the chance to work out some sort of payment plan. As you say, chasing losses just become bigger losses, think we have all done that. Only you can judge when you feel strong enough to tell your OH. I did eventually and obviously there is always fall out but at the time it was a relief and meant I could make a new start but each of us must cope with our own recovery so just stay strong and take care.

Mary

Good on you for finding the courage to come clean 🙂 I hope your wife & Mum are able to support you on this difficult journey as they will reap the rewards getting their husband/son back...We are so much nicer in recovery! I know you are hurting @ the moment but stand tall & keep fighting, it will get easier, I promise!