To a happier and debt free life...

Day 25

Mini milestone today with 25 days, just a small step to where I want to be but a great start.

Day 26

Today I've paid off more debt, paid my semester fee for my studies and bought some clothes for my son.

Feels good to use my money wisely not like an absolute idiot.

My longest stint being free from gambling was around 60 days then I stopped posting and you can guess what happened next.

My is goal is to get to Xmas then I can really enjoy the festive period with family and friends.

breakfree

Thanks for the post on my diary breakfree, much appreciated. You seem really up for it so wishing you well, christmas is a great goal and only just around the corner, the fat cat bookmakers will just have to get by without your cash.

Going to include your name in my music selection tomorrow so get the vacuum cleaner out !

Hi Breakfree

Thanks for your comments on my diary. I am always encouraged by others reading it and taken a little bit from it for their own journey.

May I ask, have you told your GF about your problems? If you read my diary you will know I kept mine a secret for 15 years plus and maybe the biggest part of my recovery was letting my secrets finally out of the very big bag they had been kept in. The relief and response from my friends overwhelmed me. I no longer carry the shame that gambling brings to the table. No more secrets or lies that gambling inevitably brings.

I also went to councelling which really set me on my path to freedom, maybe something you should consider. We all gamble for a reason whether we know it or not, getting to the route cause is a big step in recovery.

Well done on your 26 days, next up a whole month gamble free. Enjoy it and I wish you all the very best in your continued recovery.

Matt

Day 28

4 weeks GF 🙂

Thanks Matt and Abstainer for your comments, yes my missus does know the extent of my gambling but not the latest blowout.

I can't deal with it right now so I plan just to work hard and earn some honest money.

I'm off into town to buy my son a fireman Sam toy, he's obsessed with him!

I've been feeling guilty this week when reflecting on how much money I've lost over the years.

Normally on a day like today(Friday) I would load my account with a couple of hundred quid.

It is a relief not doing this anymore and buying my son some toys for 40-50 quid instead.

Maybe I shouldn't be buying toys but it feels good watching his face, maybe it could be seen as a replacement for gambling but I'm fine with that!
I know which scenario is better.

Have a good weekend everyone:-)

Day 29

Good morning!

Spoke with my missus about my gambling this morning, something feels different this time and I really want to knock it all on the head.

Next target for me is 50 days which will be some achievement for me.

Here is a list of things that have improved and feelinga/emotions since I've stopped gambling.

* Better communication and relationship with the GF
* Spend more quality time with my son
* No mood swings
* Far more relaxed and no shirt fuse
* Realising what I want from my future
* Less greedy, sick of chasing money.
* Having money to travel, this is super important for me as I love travelling and visiting new countries.
* Debt reducing each month
* More disposable cash each month.
* Having time back on my side

I feel like I could just keep writing and writing but I feel that us enough for now.

As you can see I don't need gambling in my life anymore as this list gives me everything I need from life.

Looking back I've been a selfish idiot for many years, I'm 33 now and this is the time to stop.

I've got to step up my game and be the Dad, partner and friend I want to be.

Have a great Saturday everyone 🙂

breakfree

Day 30

Sun is out and I am off to play some golf in a few hours 🙂

Stay strong everyone and keep your money in your pocket.

breakfree

Day 31

Not much to report here, pretty standard Monday.

Work then pick up the boy from pre school and make dinner.

Life is simple at the moment and it does feel like a void without gambling being a part of my daily routine.

I need to keep posting here and grinding away.

I can't win because I can't stop.

breakfree

Day 33

I'm feeling complacent and I need to be my guard.

I can't win because I can't stop.

Your doing great breakfree. Just enjoy day 33 and worry about day 34 tomorrow. Before you know it you'll be enjoying a gamble free christmas without the gambling spoiling it all...stephen

Day 34

I'm finding the tactic of using all spare money I have on my debts is working.

I can see my debts reducing and the urges to gamble are not there due to the lack of funds.

Have a good day everyone.

Day 35

Well let's be honest, this week has been tough and although I still remain free from gambling it's been a test.

I've had a bit of time on my hands this week and I've had the gambling gremlin on my shoulder many times. He's been egging me on to get back in the game and I've said no many times this week.

Now it's Friday and with a full weekend of sport ahead I need to remain strong.

I've gone through many emotions in the past few days, feeling sorry for myself that I'm not gambling(stupid I know), very restless as I can't play golf(damaged by finger at work), bank balance is low making me want to chase that "win".

I've been in this situation before and folded, telling myself it's "ok" to gamble as I have "control" now. Looking back over the years the truth is I have NEVER had control.
This is just an excuse I make to myself so I can deposit and start punting again.

Sorry there is a lot of rambling here but good to get some thoughts down.

I'm taking a deep breath now and an will remain gamble free today.
I can't win because I can't stop.

Breakfree

Day 36

Good morning Gamcare!

Woke up a bit more positive today, going to enjoy the day with my family and watch the sport. Stay strong everyone, weekends are always a test for us so let's remain GF!

breakfree

Keep going breakfree.

You are doing so well. I am at the start of my journey and know that my life will be better for it once I get some more GF days under my belt. Keep inspiring and fighting the good fight. Do not let gambling defeat you. If we do not stop today, when will we ever stop?

Good luck my friend, do it for your son.

Day 37

Just got home from playing 18 holes of golf.

Great to be on the course again, breathing fresh air and getting some exercise. Actually played some ok golf as well!

Golf has saved me a fortune looking back, my advice to anyone reading this is get yourself a hobby.

When you stop gambling feels like you have a lot of dead time so it's healthy to fill that time with something positive and a hobby you enjoy.

Thanks truthful93 for your comments, wish you all the best on your GF journey.