Today, I will not gamble

Day 20. 1/12/13

Still going strong. Decided to go on a last minute holiday with my gf and had such a great time and can honestly say I didn't think about gambling once.

Only problem is she paid for everything and it's her birthday this month so will struggle again but hopefully can head into the new year in a strong position emotionally if not financially.

It's only been 20 days but it's clearer now that my life without gambling is great and that time is starting to heal the wound.

Day 21. 2/12/13

Not really thought about gambling all day until I got into bed so thought I'd write my thoughts.

The financial loss still cripples me and it is the want to get the money back that is a big urge. However I think the root of my problem is due more to a desire to be right. I used to bet large amounts on the nfl and I watched a game last night and just 'knew' the outcome before it happened. It made me think that I should put £500 on what I thought was going which would have paid for my holiday and bought a lot for gf birthday and Christmas. I didn't bet, but had I, I would have won £1000 and then would have walked then. (I know this wouldn't be the case). The thing in all of this is it highlighted to me where my problem arises.

When a result comes in that I predicted it would but didn't bet, the lost opportunity would cause me to put a bet returning the same amount on an event I didn't care about simply to gain what I had previously missed out on. It is the feeling of missing a win that still haunts me. Will this feeling ever go away? And I think this is coupled with the lack of financial stability for the foreseeable future which makes me want to gamble.

However I am now a lot wiser as to what gambling does to me and I'm not going to let it beat me again. I haven't been gamble free for 21 days for over a year so i jus need to keep doing the same and slowly but surely I can rebuild both financially and emotionally.

Stu

Day 24. 5/12/13

Such a good day today and haven't thought once about wasting money gambling.

Everyone says it but if you're too busy to gamble then there is no risk.

Now is the time to stay aware though cos I've been here so many times before. I will not let my guard down and just have to keep taking it one day at a time.

Day 30. 11/12/13

Still gamble free and although it has only been a month, my life gambling seems like years ago. I am starting to enjoy sport a lot more again and not have to worry about the outcome. It does still make me twitch though when a team I think will win goes 1-0 down, but I just think because I can't stop I can't win. By remembering this as soon as I get an urge for some reason it makes me stop.

The other thing that is surprisingly working well is thinking about the people I've hurt. As soon as I think about what I've put people through makes me never want to gamble again.

My only real difficulty is that I am unable to let go the £20k plus that I have lost. To think I could own a house or just be financially stable is devastating.

But I want to look back and think I turned my life around, so for day 31 I will not gamble.

Hi Stuart,

Well done for reaching a month g free!!

Don't look back at the losses, money will not come back.

Look at today and tomorrow, you started changing your life around, you got a platform for the better future.

Keep fighting the urges, progress you are having is amazing, so just keep going and making right choice each day.

Take care

Sandra x

Wel done Stu,glad to see your still going strong.

I did come to close to having a bet on the cricket earlier,i find it the hardest thing to resist.

Losing the toss each time has cost us dearly i rkn,-safe to say i would definetly have lost a few quid if i was betting on the ashes.

keep strong stu

Day 35. 16/12/13

Sandra thanks for the positivity it really does help and exactly the same Robby. Last night was the closest I've been to slipping back and tbh I resisted quite easily in the end.

As I've said previously nfl is where I placed a lot of bets in the past 12 months and have prob lost £5k in that time. There was a big opportunity bet and I ignored it only for the result to come in. This is the hardest situation to face as I feel I have lost out, not just on a lot of money but on being right.

So I nearly went on this morning to bet on the cricket, but I just keep thinking it's not worth it. I will never e able to make one bet, win and walk away. It saddens me to say it but that's not my personality.

So I will continue to be strong - biggest target in my head atm is 100 days. I'd like to write that on here and then to push on and before I know it I'll be where I want to be.

For tomorrow, I will be gamble free

Stu

Well done stu.

It really is a question of reminding ourselves of past losses and pain that gambling has caused us.

You've overcome another urgr,stepped another ring up that ladder.

I've got up to watch the cricket,not bothered about not having a wager on it,gona enjoy and hope the impossible happens!

I'm glad I gave up when I did,xmas looming,ashes series about to start,if I get thro these days it will only make me stronger.

Keep fighting stu.

Day 40. 21/12/13

Can't believe I've managed 40 days gamble free, it did seem a long way off when I couldn't go a few hours.

Can now actually go a day without thinking of gambling at all and just enjoying life. The problem comes when I look at my bank balance and this is when I get an urge, but I know it will only ever grow by not gambling.

Not dropping my guard in the slightest but over the last few days it has really felt like I can beat this addiction.

Stu

Hi Stu, great positive post. Have a great Christmas 🙂

Day 46 - 27/12/13

Thanks last chance - hope you had a great Christmas.

I've been going really well up until yesterday, but I did not gamble. However I'm a united fan and when they went 2-0 down I saw an angle. They were 10-1 and I was thinking if I was back gambling id put £300 on them to win. Obviously they won and I feel cheated out of £3,300.

How do I stop myself from feeling like I've missed an opportunity? I know that the obvious answer is that if I started then I wouldn't stop but I'd like to think I could have started at day 1 again but with an extra £3k in the bank.

It's extremely frustrating that I can no longer just watch my team win and be happy. Now I feel like gambling to get the £3k I could have had.

Cheers

Stu

try to steer clear of the odds and watch less games this is only for a period of time till you can handle it.

Cheers for the post stu.

Glad you avoided the gamble yesterday,it would all ended in tears in the end,no way u could bank the 3 grand and start day 1 again. Were compulsive gamblers,it doesn't work like that,you have only got to remind yourself of your past track record,year after year of losses. I rkn the bookies would have you and me at 1/50 on having a losing 2014!

It is a hard time of year,money short and if your like me- more time on my hands to just flick through the cr** on tv,our minds are bound to wonder.

I've got the same habit as you,placing fantasy bets,you just gota keep reminding yourself winning was always more dangerous than losing. Your 3 grand would of been lost in a month with how much more on top?

Keep abstaining stu,life maybe not as exciting whilst were not gambling,but its certain to bring was more health,wealth and hapiness!

Day 47 - 28/12/13

Still gamble free and I've been able to let go yesterday's antics. Perfectly summed up Robby there is no way Id walk away with a big win, the old track record proves that.

Were going to defy those odds Robby and remain gamble free for 2014. If I manage that, it ll be the first gamble free year since 2006.

One day at a time, and 3 days till 50. Next milestone 100 days on 19th feb.

Stu

Day 50 - 31/12/13

I now feel that I can remain gamble free for the long term. Over the past couple of weeks the urges have returned and don't get me wrong I was close to betting a couple of times but I know what gambling does to me and those around me and therefore I'm not going to let it back into my life.

NY resolution has been made easy this year but I'm going to give everything I have to write day 415 on here this time next year.

Slowly but surely I am turning my life back around.