Today is day dot, a new beginning.

Hi

from acorns grow mighty oaks.

you have taken the first step,my advice embrace recovery,you cannot win back your loses but you can live a life with the self gifted reward of gifting yourself recovery.

unlike gambling which will take all you have to offer,recovery cost's nothing but a great deal of commitment.

use this amazing forum to replace the buzz,it's full of like minded folk who share the same goal

to put and end to the self gifted misery and destruction gambling brings.

To start the advice gifted to me on my first days recovery

there is a triangle

Time-money-location

take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible.

we are by and large not bad people we are all addicts,addiction reaps havoc upon our lives and that of those we hold dear.

today you took your first step.

be kind to yourself.

enjoy it.

honesty is a gift that recovery will gift you,again embrace it.

there is no shame on admitting your addiction,the shame would be not using the power your own honesty brings.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Great advice from a forum Master there katefrankie!

Welcome to recovery 🙂

If you search NT, he has a thread of tips to keep busy!

It is a difficult path to stay on with the addiction trying every which way to claw us back but the rewards are worth every fight! One Day At A Time, this battle can be won! You have already started taking steps & you may find more useful advice on here! You can do this - ODAAT

Day 2 - Kinda really only day 1 of not gambling.... well so far i've felt so anxious and down, been awake since about 5am, kept dreaming of both my investigation, being charged with fraud and the usual BJ table dreams, awful! So I didnt sleep well to say the least, and my 2 year old practically sleeping on my head didnt help.

Im now sat going through any active accounts and self excluding, I hate how some make you email, they dont make it easy for you! I have already done this for most online companies in the past, around 5 are still active, i maybe use 2/3 actively, i struggling to bring myself to close the WH account, its been open the longest and the only one i feel i ever get a fair game (i know im wrong) however i know (hope) by the end of the day i will have done it, i'd look into the software to stop me, but, my OH likes the odd footy bet and i feel i cant tell him just yet. So, the first one i've accessed has a free bet credit.... what to do, what to do?!! Im gonna have to use it, the mind battle has started already!.... I'm now worried about where from there, what if I win?!!

I just need the old me back, I sat looking through old photos being out with friends, having fun, seems a distant memory, i dont even know who i am anymore.

Hi kf,

That last line strikes a chord with me too. I know that the more prolonged a period of gambling i.e. week/months/year, the more distant I become with my friends, collegues and family. Conversely and happily the opposite is true - stay away from gambling and you will find yourself again and the friendships will rekindle.

Stay strong!

Hi kf, this addication most defo isolates you, i have spent last 72 hours trying to be on my own, thats where the shame pushes you, not healthy , so abstaining in time must help ................ I hope so for me and you.

Day 2 update... my free bet with B*********s ended up with me depositing £5, i had in my head that was it, that was my last ever deposit.... i hope i can stick to it, i since have successfully self excluded from all the sites i use. Im not sure how i feel really, i know im gonna need to find something to keep myself busy, so i'd say for day 2 i havent done so bad, im just awaiting my call from GA about first counselling session.

Read through a lot of your comments/posts, its so sad that this happens to so many people, i feel like its an untold addiction sort of speak, everyone hides away, which is exactly what i have done to myself, and its so so secretive, i feel so ashamed of myself and embarrassed that i have got myself into this mess, i feel like no one understands, especially me being a girl, i made my friend come to a casino a few month back and she was in absolute shock, she was disgusted that people go to these places, i remember her face, she lost £10 and was nearly in tears. I wish i could be like that, i just hope im strong enough to get through this for the sake on my son and my family, i have been through a lot in life already, but this has really got me in a state. Looking forward to updating my 'last gambled' date, that will be tomorrows task! Tomorrow will be tough, i usually have a number of football bets on.

I hope you all have success in this and come out the other side happier, healthier people, there is a lot of supportive people on here, im gonna make a deal with myself that everytime i would usually go onto a betting/casino site, i come to here instead, even if i note down my feelings and update this diary, im hopeful in the long run if i was to read back i'd be proud of how i'd overcome this problem.... thats the plan anyway, fingers crossed 🙂

My REAL day 1 starts today!! I feel actually quite excited, today will be the first day i dont gamble in a long, long time! I've closed/self-ex and removed deposit limits from all online accounts. I'm meeting with family later and i'm thiking about telling them about my troubles (maybe) either way i have woke up feeling possitive that i can do this, i have so many things i want to do with my life i am NOT gonna let this horrible thing get in the way of me making a better life for my family and I, i have plenty of time to right my wrongs, and i need to become me again. I plan on studying soon, i've found a coure which is perfect for me and im looking forward to starting it then hopefully going onto university next year, thats my plan.

Fingers crossed I can control this, i know its gonna be a tough ride.

xx

Hi katefrankie,

I just wanted to say good luck if you do decide to tell your family today. I know everybody can react differently but in my experience the feeling of relief about being honest is amazing.

Take care and be kind to yourself.

Dave X

Hiya, well, i decided to tell my aunt i was going to go for counselling, didnt have the bottle to tell her i gamble, but its a step in the right direction, as i usually tell them nothing! I'm so pleased to say i have NOT gambled 1 single penny today, i have checked the footall results and it didnt make me feel like i should of/needed to put money on so thats a start, so happy for day one, just kept myself busy 🙂 xx

Okay, so... half way through day 3!! Found these few days very very hard, i think mainly due to a flare up in online abuse towards me due to the ongoing investigation. Yesterday was horrendous, an effected 'party' set up an online 'charity' funding page basically slating me that i had scammed them and askign for members of the public via social media to share thier story, aiming it at celebs/businesses, this has obviously got me very down and depressed. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?!?! As my OH has bit his tongue for months through the abuse and threats i get he finally flipped and responded to one girls comments after she'd called me every C*** & B****** under the sun, shortly after we had a visit from the police, she'd made a report that he was indimidating her a she is a witness against me, so this is probably gonna look worse for me in the long run, I just want it all over with. Really starting to worry about it all, i honestly do not know what i'd do if i was charged with fraud. But i didnt gamble, tomorrows going to be a challenge as i know i have spare funds, i just need to be strong.

So far so good anyway 🙂