Today is my beginning

Dear diary, I have successfully made it to 51hrs without gambling. Today has been relatively easy as I have been busy with family so haven't had time for urges. I'll login tomorrow for a full update

Day 3

Hi diary, well in 30 minutes I have been 72hrs gf. This is the longest I have spent away from the online slots in 4yrs. 4yrs that I have nearly lost everything and now have £10s k of debt to show for my "fun" . What a joke. I don't feel tempted today, I feel angry at myself for allowing this to get so bad before I got help. Anyway, tomorrow I have my first counselling session which I am looking forward to. I think it will be good to share my feelings with someone as I don't feel ready to tell hubby yet. Will speak tomorrow

Well done on being gamble free. Stick with it and if you get urges come on here or even just think of here if it's not possible to come on. Take one day at a time and you will see this days soon mount up. Good luck

I am feeling good! I am today 97hrs gf and feeling great! No urges today but have kept busy at work. Will write again tomorrow x

Good stuff. Be strong and keep posting on here even if it's more than once a day and especially if you feel any urges..

So today I'm back with my new beginning. Will update more in the morning x

Day 1. After spending all of my wages within 4hrs yesterday, I'm done. I've hit my rock bottom. I cannot live my life like this any more, month after month same old s£*t. I am just about to call the helpline as I desperately need to break this cycle. I'm trapped in an unhappy vicious circle and I need out. If it means posting on here every hour, that's wat I'll do

Hi

You sound a bit lost with all of this but a good idea is to keep looking back over the posts you have written and keep reading the post that said you went "96" hours without gambling. Ok, it is not a lifetime but you should look on that as an achievement and you have shown you have tried to help yourself and you achieved what you wanted - so build on that and be proud of that "96 hours". If you try and stay calm now and start to think carefully you can do that again and add go even further than that 96 days. First of all, you need to get yourself a bit organised. Get a pen and paper and make a list of the following suggestions for you to help yourself - try and carry them out and tick them off as you go and it will be like a little project that will keep you busy!!

1. Ring Gamcare for some support and advice. They will give you moral support and info on debt advisers and self- excluding from sites, casios, bookies etc.

2. Start keeping a diary on here and keep counting the days as you have been doing at the start

3. Before you get paid next time make a budget of what you can put your wages towards and any spare money towards anything other than gambling i.e a treat for your family or a holiday, a meal out, anything. because what you are spending on gambling is denying you all of these really nice things.

4. Look at finding other interests - plenty out there that do not cost a lot of money. Try and remember what you were interested in before you were with your partner or when you were younger.

5. Keep posting or reading threads on here. Don't let the negative ones get you down. Gamcare is a great place to come where you are not judged and you can learn a lot and perhaps gain a little more confidence to ask for help.

I know how hard it is for anyone to tell their family or friends they have a problem like this but it is the secrecy that is enabling you to carry on. Try and be really brave and tell either your hubby or another family member. After all the more debt you get into is going to affect him in the long run and he would probably rather know now before it all gets out of hand. You know him better than anyone and how he may react but if he really cares he will try and support you. I would suggest you ask either him or a family member to moniter your finances and oversee your wages coming in each month. That is such a deterrent and a help with recovery.

Please don't give up and I hope you feel you can try some of the above.

Good luck and hope next payday is a happier story.

Thank you for your advice. I've called the helpline and am in the process of arranging counselling.

I have kept busy since Friday and have started reading literature online and will be going to my first GA meeting on Tuesday. I am 48 hrs into my new beginning, I will not go back.

Thanks for replying. You sound more confident already and be proud of that 48 hours because you have packed a lot into that time in making a good effort to turn your life around. I really hope it all works out well for you and your family. Good luck and keep us posted on how you are getting on or if you need any more support.

Hi diary, well today is day 6 and I'm doing ok. still reading lots of literature and have been to my first meeting. Counselling starts in 2 weeks which I am really scared about, not sure why because walking into GA last night was gut wrenching but I managed it. Day 6 of my new beginning, I don't want to get complacent but am looking forward to adding some 0s to that 6. I can break this crappy cycle

14 whole days!!!! I am so unbelievably proud and can't believe how much I have achieved in such a short time. I have attended GA meetings, seen a counsellor for the first time and generally feel happy for the first time in many years! Well done me, keep with it ODAAT

hi diary. Today I feel tired and drained. Not sure why as I am sleeping really well for the first time in ages. I'll do some mindfulness in a bit to help me realise that IT IS OK TO HAVE DOWN DAYS- every day is an up day when I haven't / don't gamble. Today is day 16 of being gf and I will not return to those slots. Everywhere I turn there are ads on to, radio and newspapers. I will take a nap to quiet my mind. One hour at a time today

Day 16 is good! I lost 2500 to the online slots Wednesday, unbelievable eh. Got 10k of debt to explain away and added another year of payments!! Four years to clear this so long as I stay strong!! Done loads of reading and soul searching. Feel guilty but the money has gone now and a positive is I stopped when I did. Sorry to go on on your diary. d**n the slots, what a bloody trap eh.