Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel

Oh Jean.....I'm so so sorry! You could be me....I do exactly the same....I feel the same....gamble,win,withdraw,cancel withdrawal,gamble,lose. The circle is unending! Please start your recovery again and REMEMBER those awful feelings you have will ultimately lead you to your FULL recovery! BE STRONG.... keep posting and reading. Helen. X

Hi Jean, really feel for you....have been there and know how awful those feelings are.

I slipped yesterday after being gambling free for a while...the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach today, I thought I would never allow myself to experience again after last time.

I have had huge losses and did the same as you have mentioned here...won big and put it all back.

I am slowly but surely realising that there are no winners in this game....I am realising I cannot ever gamble because I cannot stop and so I cannot win. I am realising that my head is wrecked from it and my mood altered and my physical appearance even alters when I gamble not to mention what it could be doing to my health!

Still when all is said and done I also realise how hard it is to abstain...it's an addiction. We can do it though! I have seen how others came back and have abstained and so we can too!

Keep strong and grab at all the support you can get which is what I intend to do.

Nothing can buy us that feeling of being free from the depths of despair that gambling does to us.

All the best x

Hi jean

I do feel for you and I can relate to every word

Wanting family to go so we can chase and chase After winning then losing doing it sneakily and feeling totally sick and yet compelled til every last penny has gone

You are not on your own

Well done on for your honesty cos I know it's painful

I do hope this is your time now to turn things around

You can do this take one day at a time and and let the losses go

Stay strong and take.

Suzanne xx

Hey Jean....where are you? Hope you're ok? Don't be afraid of posting .... Whatever you're feeling. Everyone here to help. Helen. X

Thank you thankyou all for your support. I have had a few really bad days, crying at work, crying at home. I think I have finally reached my rock bottom. Having no one to share with is so hard, but it is impossible for me to do this with my husband, this forum is the only place I can share and is a lifesaver. I go to my first proper counselling session this afternoon and hopefully with that and the support I receive here I will beat this addiction, which causes me to self destruct. I will keep posting and baring my soul on here, as that is how I can get through this.

Jean

Well went for my first counselling session after attending initial assessment a couple of weeks ago. The counsellor was excellent, drawing out my thoughts and feelings on a whole range of issues. I know that I need this and the support on this forum for me to abstain and understand why I gamble. I feel much more positive,

I will not gamble today as I want to be a winner.

Good luck to all who are facing their own difficulties in achieving a gamble free life.

Jean Ramsdale

Hi Jean

Well done

Keep positive and stay strong

Suzanne xx