Trying to get my life back again

Day #20

Been super busy at work, at home (trying not to vent or angry at my inlaws) and my own folks.

Sorting their pension as since im the oldest and my other siblings are passing the bucks and are too busy dealing with their own 'stuff' - i have to do all this..

Just paid for another items off my list and was amazed i got £500 spare cash - which mostly goes to my husband trip and then straight towards credit card.

Feel weird. I try not to look back and upset me. This week been though but am strong. I wish i was mentality was that strong last year. That way I wouldn't have being stupid and gambled my money away.

Really hard thinking is it my fault why we can't have a house or we decided to move in with my in laws.

My husband is working late again tonight and i feel like a single parent living in a place i hate.

Right enough of me moaning.. 10 more days and my first milestone aimed. I am happy and just need to keep up my mentality up and keep at it and SAVE SAVE SAVE to get out of this sugar hole lol.

Lucy x

Hi Lucy,

Fantastic work hitting 20 days. Like yourself I am at the same stage in recovery as you (day 19) so you are one ahead. 😉

Keep on fighting you are doing really great. You will get to 30 days and beyond.

Thanks Lordlucan - lol love the name. I will do - i HAVE to for the sake of my child and my husband. He just came home and i feel so bad for him. He done so much for me ie household wise as he feel bad his folks made a mess. Used to he let me doing all the household work lol.

He went straight to bed and im thinking and planning what to do tomorrow with my daughter as got limited fund so need to find somewhere free lol.

I am loving this 'Gamcare' family - and reading the posts - really keeping my spirit up.

Lucy x

3 weeks of winning today Lucy, well done you.

Suzanne xx

How are you, Lucy?

Day #028

Hi Cynical Wife,

I'm fine - its just been super busy with work, my parents and my own family - really didn't have time to chill out and log on to see how everybody progress.

Its day 28 - i can say - i don't have the urges at all. I think my mind is much healthier aka over the whole stupid idea of gambling is making money and really focusing on what i need to do.

Husband is away for his trip and i am trying dealing how i try not to get angry with my father in law and his useless son. Have spend few nights at my mum - which is like a holiday. My brother helping with my daughter and seeing her happy really make my heart melt.

Need to focus on myself. I really have let myself go which is one of the trigger why i was so depressed - i did not like who i am or look like.

So next week i am trying to eat healty and loose 2 stones. That is going to be major.

Have spend a night with my best chum - both opening up and see check how mentally i am. really enjoyed the talk over bottle wine and fine dessert lol.

Few more nights and my husband is home.

Few night i was really down as i am no where near saving a deposit for a house nor be able to get a mortgage - i felt like a looser but no point looking back. I need to figure out what i need to do.

My folks situation is really keeping me busy - what i am scared is - this is going to be keep me sooo busy i got no time to think then when it stopped my head gets into overdrive and i am super low - low that i am depressed. Don't think i will turn to gambling as my willpower is pretty strong just scared i shut myself off or no energy do anything.

Ach will crossed that bridge when it comes.

Right off wee wonder to see how everybody is - really looking forward to see some positive numbers.

Lucy x

PS: 2 MORE DAYS AND I ACHIEVED MY FIRST TARGET!!!!!

PS: 2 MORE DAYS AND I ACHIEVED MY FIRST TARGET!!!!!

Hi, Lucy,

Sympathies about the two stone, I'm bigger than I should be, I lost it and put it back. But you can't do everything, focus on staying gamble free. Improved finances follow on from it.

Could you get a GP's appt about the depression? Might be another source of help.

Take care,

CW

Good luck with the abstaining and the diet / exercise. I also set myself weight loss targets. Running is great as it's free, it takes up time, it makes you feel good, it relieves stress and it's good for your health. I wish you the best in both journeys.

Thank you for support and kind words. I am planning to see my gp again and get new prescription as there were days i feel im struggling to cope but i has too because of my daughter.

I gained 2 stone after birth and before i was not atletic but still kept myself fit. After birth i had complication with my c section and kept getting infected. Both our family cant help with baby sitting and its not their job...itsy child ...so whenever i got free time i relax instead of thinking excercise. I kept house clean and food on table for my husband. Few of my chums made comments that after certain time i should have lost all my babt weight....really hurt my feelings. Unlike them, they have help: got cleaners, take 2 days off to exercise and passed their child to their family too look after while they excercise, party and have me time. Im old fashion....and yes i wish im lucky as them but im not. So instead those words give me encouragement it made me less loving myself. At the end if the day - if i loose weights its on my term n time and for me ! Not for them!!!

Next week i will start. I try fit half an hr lunch gym and focus on myself. Since i manage put little money aside this month i might book myself some pampering session.

Lucy x

Day #030,

I have done it. My first milestone of 30 days gamble free. Still early to tell but i can positively say i have no urges nor thinking of relapse.

The only thing on my mind is now to get the hell out of the place im living, get out of this depression and loose this 2 stone or 2 dress sizes....

Bring on next month and hope i manage loose some weight and more money in my pocket.

Lucy x

Well done, Lucy, here's to the next milestone.

CW

Well done Lucy!! 🙂 xx

Well done you 31 days of starving it, and winning now.

Keep strong and keep going.

Suzanne xxx