I thought I'd start a new diary as my old one was full of relapses and negativity from myself.
I've been living a secret life, nobody knew about my problems and I kept trying to beat it on my own.without success unsurprisingly. Things basically reached a point where I wanted to kill myself. I had an overwhelming desire to die. So I cried out for help. I've told my family. I thought they would dis own me but they've stood by me. My wonderful girlfriend has stood by me too. I have handed control of all my finances to her so I can't gamble even if I wanted to. Which I have honestly no desire to do. It was a real eye opener to see the pain I've caused the people who loved me. I know now that I don't have a choice. The gambling has to stop forever. I can't live with the guilt of causing everyone so much stress and worry.
I'm on to day 3 now. I'm absolutely skint and in an obscene amount of debt. I'm losing my home and I'm also suffering terribly with depression (but finally seeking help). I suppose the only way is up from here though. I hit rock bottom and reached a point where I felt I had to end my life or turn it around completely. Thankfully I chose to try and turn it around. I have no choice but yo succeed this time.
You have made the best choice possible, well done.
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Time is so precious and yet as gamblers we do not value it.
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