Today marks a significant turning point in my life. I have been self-excluded using GamStop for five years, but I continued to use local bookmakers and eventually cryptocurrency casinos. Recently, after winning a substantial amount of money, I ended up losing it all. This cycle of telling myself that if I just had the money, I’d quit, only to continue gambling, has been a pattern for the past decade.
In reality, when I did have the money, I didn’t want to spend it. Instead, I kept it aside, only to eventually gamble it all away. Today, I took a step forward by deleting and self-excluding from all my accounts.
As I await the arrival of my first child, I realise I need to take action to break free from this destructive habit before I lose everything. To anyone thinking of going for that last win, remember: it’s never enough. You only end up lending the money back to them eventually.
Hello Dom246,
Thank you for sharing your reflections on here and it’s great to see that you have started a recovery diary to mark this turning point for yourself!
From what you share it seems that you have come to an acceptance that there is a vicious cycle of gambling which you have highlighted as ‘telling myself that if I just had the money, I’d quit, only to continue gambling’. This is a common shared experience that a lot of the people who are on a similar path to yourself go through and can be linked to high emotions you feel at the time when this happens. Due to these emotions, it can be hard to make conscious decisions. Therefore, it is really important you give yourself time to allow yourself to accept that you will lose money when you gamble and it's not always about winning, which seems to be what you are reflecting on and doing currently.
I hope you continue to reflect and share your journey through this diary so other’s on here can also read and reflect with you together.
Best wishes,
Brielle
Forum Admin
Hi Dom,
This is my first day turning too, we in this together brother!
I just lost £1000 online slots around 3 hours ago, I dont gamble every day but when i do I cant stop its like something takes over me. Winning 5 or 10k wouldnt change my life so I generally dont understand why I do it.
Bookmakers slots I will play and spend a few hundred to win what £500 max jackpot? I dont need £500 but still I go to play. I think Bookmakers should have a ID scan to check-in to their stores so gamblers with a problem really can self exclude themselves.
Today it offically ends, I have cut up my bank card so I cannot withdraw funds, instead I will use apple pay for shopping just to be safe.
This is my first time joining a forum or any sort of gambling help, I will set up the blocker and I also read many people join as many casions pages as possible to self exclude so I will do this next too.
Stay focussed, there more to life than winning a few quid for it to go back to them.
Today marks a significant turning point in my life. I have been self-excluded using GamStop for five years, but I continued to use local bookmakers and eventually cryptocurrency casinos. Recently, after winning a substantial amount of money, I ended up losing it all. This cycle of telling myself that if I just had the money, I’d quit, only to continue gambling, has been a pattern for the past decade.
In reality, when I did have the money, I didn’t want to spend it. Instead, I kept it aside, only to eventually gamble it all away. Today, I took a step forward by deleting and self-excluding from all my accounts.
As I await the arrival of my first child, I realise I need to take action to break free from this destructive habit before I lose everything. To anyone thinking of going for that last win, remember: it’s never enough. You only end up lending the money back to them eventually.
Great job making the right decision!!
It's true when people say "there's only 1 winner"... It should be bloody banned itself
@dom246. Well done Dom. I was similar. I used Gamstop but then the drive to gamble was so strong that I went to crypto ect
It was the worst mistake of my life. No amount we win will ever be enough.
I had some big wins but like you I never saw any benefit myself. I just lost it and more.
It is easy to see it so clear when you have experienced a big loss but make sure you have a plan in place when you get the urge.
@v4mebpyd19. Well done on cutting up the cards. Keep us posted on how you feel giving up.
Remember that recovery is an investment and needs attention. It doesn't just happen. Keep the passion about not gambling alive or it can rear up it's ugly head.
@forum-admin Thanks, Brielle.
I’ve used the forum before, mainly to rant about my losses and then try to forget about them. Usually, once I financially recover, I convince myself that it wasn’t that bad. This time, I need a different approach. It’s gone on long enough.
@v4mebpyd19 That sounds very similar to my situation. I was using the bookmaker’s slots a lot, and the maximum £500 win wouldn’t have made any difference to my life. But for years, I kept returning, often losing more than the jackpot in one sitting. I recall winning the jackpot three times, and I was going almost every day for two years.
However, online casinos are much more dangerous. In the shop, you are aware people are around you, whereas online, it is only your own accountability. I actually won around 'X amount', and all I did was let it sit in my bank. I was spending money no differently than when I was in debt, until eventually, I put all the money back in.
You will never win and be content, and like you say, is even a win as big as 'X amount' going to change your life? It’s not whatsoever. Thanks for the message, and stay in touch on your journey. It helps to talk to others in a similar position.
@thebean Hi,
Yes, I’ve been here many times before on my journey to quit. Like you said, it’s easy to see the problem when you’re at rock bottom, but once you rebuild, you forget how bad it can get. I need a plan to make progress and quit for good this time.
Have you found any useful tools to help you stop?
Yes. There have been many steps to get here and different tools I have used.
1) Being honest with myself that I was 100% out of control and was not going to control gambling by myself.
2) Being open and honest with my wife about the issue (this was the hardest).
3) Handing over all finances to someone else. I have no means of using my cards to deposit to any casino.
4) Signing up with Gamstop so I am excluded with all UK casinos.
5) Downloading gamban to my phone so I can't access online casinos.
6) Getting CBT so I can understand why I was so out of control (dopamine) and learning to recognise my triggers.
7) Rewarding myself for non gambling behaviour and replacing the gambling with healthier pursuits.
8) Maintaining active on these forums so I don't forget how bad my mental state got before starting recovery.
I think it is about putting layers between yourself and the gambling. Then developing strategies to maintain your gamble free life. There is no magic one solution, it takes hard work and dedication to recover but it is so very much worth it.
This is my first time following up on a post—I used to only return to the forum months later after hitting rock bottom again. I’m now 32 days gamble-free. While I wish I could say I’m feeling amazing, I’m struggling with low energy and a lack of motivation right now, however continuing on my journey to be gamble free.
This is my first time following up on a post—I used to only return to the forum months later after hitting rock bottom again. I’m now 32 days gamble-free. While I wish I could say I’m feeling amazing, I’m struggling with low energy and a lack of motivation right now, however continuing on my journey to be gamble free.
@dom246 congratulations on getting to 32 days! You should be proud of your achievement it’s extremely hard to do. Hope you’re doing well and best of luck to you!
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