Uphill struggle

Your doing so well Little miss finding herself. Very proud of your progress and full of gratitude for your kind words on my diary.

It means a lot to me that we are all together, arm in arm, going forward. Knowing my GamCare friends are with me will strengthen my resolve whenever temptation comes along. Take care. Stephen x

Hi lml just popping by to say thank you for your posts on my diary it really has helped. I too appreciate your honesty I don’t deny either that the little voice or rather big voice to sit watching those spinning reels is just so strong and I don’t understand the strength of the addiction on me when like you I know logically it’s a bad idea and everything I should do, done to break the cycle. Me too keep having breaks then going back to it, why??? We are intelligent women and men and don’t want to be a slave to this addiction so why? I’ve come to a decision that I’ll never probably know why just it’s an awful addiction and I can’t fight it by sheer willpower alone cos it always gets me otherwise. I’m having hard time too coming to terms with my (as I see it) stupidity and the sheer amount I’ve lost over the years. I hold myself totally responsible for my actions but they sure don’t make it easy to avoid do they? Advert after advert, emails etc etc it’s soul destroying at times. I’ve rang the Samaritans too. I’m still in that process of trying to change my mindset about gambling getting rid of the idea I’ll ‘make’ money, never ever will I make money gambling but it’s more than that isn’t it, the buzz, the rush, the escape etc etc no wonder it’s so hard but together we will do it Xxx

Thanks for your concern Stephen, lovely surprise to get your message. Hope you are feeling a little stronger today.
Fortunately i can deal with things not going to plan a little bit better when I'm not throwing money away on the slots.
Abstainer, thank you for your kind words. We are all in this together and it personally helps me to be able to share with fellow posters who understand.
Your 'little miss finding herself' was a lovely, thoughtful touch and made me smile.
Lulu, I sent you a message on your diary before reading this post.
Two peas in a pod comes to mind when I think of us. It's time we took control and made a better life for ourselves. I look forward to sharing our journey x

How you doing LML? Hope you are ok.

Hi Chris,
I'm good thanks.
Still aware that I'm having to battle the demons but I'm coming out on top.
Breaking the triangle, which in my case, is not being able to use my card online is a massive help.
My brain is still throwing all sorts of stupid pictures and thoughts at me usually involving bonus's coming up on slots. Fortunately, I'm managing to counteract them with memories of losses and facts on the ridiculously low odds of getting big wins which I've read previously on here.
When I see the adverts on telly showing everyone with smiles on their faces gambling in one form or another I want to throw something at the telly and scream 'Stop making it look fantastic when you've ruined my life.' I can mentally picture all the people in the advert their smiles disappearing, one by one they crumble before my eyes and have a breakdown. I then sit for the next few minutes kicking myself, feeling like a first class idiot for being fooled, sucked in and basically brainwashed by these robbing ********.
Sorry, I can't think why I suddenly went into that rant but I'll leave it in, it's obviously something that I wanted to get off my chest!
Maybe it's because it's 5am in the morning and I'm laid awake, once again evaluating my life.
Anyway, all I know is, the road I've been travelling for the last 6 years has been a tough one. There must be a reason for me having to walk it, whether in my warped mind it's payback/karma for the past wrong doings in my life or whether it's God's way of toughening me up to cope with future upsets - who knows. What I do know is that I need to keep looking ahead, avoid that hole in the road, walk to the other side and look for that juction that will get me back onto the right track.
Love and strength to all who need it. Remember you are not alone and we can all beat this. We've just got to want it enough x

Hi Lml, interesting last post...probably a couple of times a week I wakevup and think why? Over and over. I'm not looking for sympathy but sometimes I feel it either myself or something stops me from being truely happy. Also that maybe I gambled for so long as a form of mental self harm, you know it will end badly but you do it anyway.So I'll take a leaf from your book and keep looking ahead. Take care my friend Sx

I hate the adverts because they are very sneaky and they crowbar them inbetween a lot of the daytime shows and now they have moved onto most reality shows and prime time TV, so they snare the new "how can £10 hurt they are 1p games and I could win £10,000" they have your mobile and e-mail and now the puppet master will intice you in, it's not nice, evil infact but who can stop these massive corporations, not us, it tricked us, we fell for the money for nothing trap and now a lot of us have to pay massively for it, but for now like The Survivors we are out for now and have to stay focused on never getting tricked like that again.

Thank you so much for my birthday wishes, you made me smile x

Hi Little Miss. How are you doing. Your input on the forum is amazing and I'm sure everyone appreciates your caring nature. I know that you have personally given so much of your time and help to many on here. Gambling, slots, casinos. We don't need them. You know the facts, you know the odds. You understand the rigours of the gambling industry and that gives you the strength to say 'no more'. Well done Little Miss. You are a true role model.

Wow, kind words indeed - thank you!
I must confess though whilst I hope my words help others on this site, I try to give back because I know how grateful I have been in the past to receive the odd message but I also want to stress how much it has helped me just coming on here and having an outlet, where I am able to discuss the emotions of gambling without being judged or made to feel unworthy.
Good wishes to all x

Thanks Little Miss Lot for checking in with me and for your support. I hope you enjoyed your weekend and are looking forward to another gamble free week. Let's all enjoy Christmas this year, we deserve happiness like anyone else.

Take care. Wilsy x

Hi Little Miss Lost ..... Thanks for the encouraging post on my Diary, really does help me knowing that i am not alone fighting this addiction and gives me a lift when people like yourself take the time to post. You are doing great and i wish you well in your own recovery keep up the good work and thanks again.

Hi lml

Thank you for the post. Not to worry, you can say anything on these pages... that's why we are here. Talk, went, share, suggest, advice, support..

I am fine, I am being kind to myself and these feelings I had earlier (& until now) will pass. I must of scratched a raw wound.

I am good, I have GC and my lil girl by my side ..it is enough to see another day ☺

Hope you're well yourself.

Stay safe and calm. Take a good care of you.

Take care

S&B xx

Thanks wilsy, Chartom and SJB for the above posts and kind words.
It's been just over 2 months now since I last threw my money away.
I wish Mr Gamble would just jog on. Get out of my life and stay out!
I'm doing OK though. Just for now I'm loving the fact that I'm in such a better place this Christmas, mentally if not monetary.
Reading this site truly helps me, I'd like to thank all who post. It helps to read the messages. It means that I have a place to go where others understand. Invaluable when you feel like the way we do sometimes.
I will not, and cannot ruin all that I have. Strength to all x

Evening Little miss magnificent and congratulations on your wonderful progress. Just spent 30 mins looking at your diary and very impressed with your courage and desire to be free of the addiction.

We are all together heading for a christmas and a new year free from the misery of gambling.

We can do this....stephen