Who am I?

Welcome Jellybean and a happy new year to you!

You've come to the right place to sort yourself out. I'm also a fairly new poster on these forums and I've found them to be a massive help.

I'm also starting today at Day 1 after a mini session yesterday afternoon so maybe we can go on this journey through 2017 together.

2016 was a disasterous year for me gambling wise, but I'm determined as hell to make 2017 a gambling free year.

We owe it to ourselves and our loved ones.

I've downloaded a cool app which tells you how many days/hours/minutes etc I've managed to not gamble. It's quite good to keep referring to that to see how well I'm doing. My last attempt was 10 days but I know I'm going to smash that in my next attempt. And so will you!

You can do it!

Keep posting regularly, especially if you have any urges to gamble.

Good luck Jellybean, we're here with you all the way.

Moorey x

Hi Moorey,

Thank you for your support it helps so much as I cannot talk to anybody about it. I'm yet to tell my parents or husband about my latest debt through gambling so I'm using this as my support to stop.

I will have a look for that app you mentioned. We can do this, like you say we owe it to ourselves. We are better then this

X

Here is the best place to start dealing with it. There are so many people on here that are all in the same boat as yourself. So you're certainly not in the minority.

There's so many success stories to take inspiration from and that's what we must do! Be one of those success stories.

Let's make history for ourselves.

With regards to telling your parents/husband, if you can do it, then that would ease the burden on you further. The more people that know, the better you'll feel and the more support you'll feel that you have...x

it would but I cannot handle the upset it would cause. The last time I told them it was awful, really awful. I'm sure soon enough I will but for now I just cannot find the words.

Why do we do it to ourselves and the people we love? I know it's wrong and the feeling is unbearable when I loose and I'm chasing the money back. Iv been the lowest I ever thought I could be and yet still let it consume me. The shame is terrible. I hate myself for doing it. I will stop, I have to before I loose everything I have.

Let's start this year as we mean to go on.

X

Well this is where it all changes, for the both of us! Day by day, it WILL get better and better.

As each minute passes by, we're getting further and further away from our last gamble.

It'll soon become a distant memory.

I really hope you can overcome this and set yourself up for a bright future ahead.

There is no need to gamble. I keep telling myself this.

Absolutely nothing to gain and EVERYTHING to lose.

We shall do this!

If you can't find the words how about writing a letter? Coming clean isn't easy or pleasant for anyone involved but I can't think of anyone who's done it who hasn't spoken of the relief at the secret coming to light. Your family are going to find out anyway. Telling them now puts you in control of how it happens and has the added benefit of making it much, much harder for you to gamble unobserved possibly racking up even more debt when the urge strikes.

Your right, I know you are. But even the thought of it makes me physically sick. This would have to be the third time Iv had that conversation with them, telling them this time is different and that I promise I won't do it again. I think what I'm hoping for is to get some gamble free weeks before I tell them so I have something to back up my promises this time. Has anybody used any blocking apps?

Hi again

Words won't mean much to them. It's action that will count. Putting it off means you're only accountable to you and the addiction is more than capable of justifying action in the meantime. Rather than just telling them this time is different and hoping to show them an indeterminate number of weeks gf, how about showing them with concrete action? Ask them to take control of your finances, sit and watch you self exclude permanently from your accounts, set passwords for blockers. Show them you've investigated GA meetings, counselling (Gamcare offer a free service) and debt management strategies. These (among others) are things you can do immediately which will eliminate your access to gambling and show your family you mean business.

Jellybean if you don't feel able to tell family yet speak to gamcare about counselling. Make sure you have no easy access to cash/cards. Put blocking software on your computer...if not family, do you have a friend that you can ask to do this for you? You have to take action, words and will power alone are not enough.

Thank you all for your advice. Know I had to tell them, I'm just terrified of the reaction. It was bad enough last time. I have a friend I can confide in and she is helping me take action with passwords for blockers etc. I will tell my family it's just finding the words...

Telling them is always the hardest part, particularly if you've been through all that before.

The most important thing now is to clock up some gf days under your belt. Let's make it a big, big number!

Yes, Moorey's right, it's the actions that you take that will impress your loved ones. You can do it this time! All the best, jellybean.

How are you doing Jellybean?

Hi Rhoda,

Not bad, back to work today so no time for slots. I have cancelled all my accounts and looking at which blocker to use. I feel sick when I think about what I have done, I'm pretty low. But I have to be positive to get over this and move on.

How are you doing Moorey?

X