Hi
On walking in to the recovery program over 50 years ago I could not understand my self or my lies.
I am a non religious person.
I can say that the recovery program helped me get more honest with myself.
And being honest is not about beating ourself up.
My lies just indicated how much pain and fear I was living at at that time.
Pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.
When my therapies were not being I was trying to protect the hurt inner child in me.
My conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values.
People will have many excuses why they lie and will justify it to them self.
For me telling lies was fear and pain based.
For me telling lies also indicated my lack of healthy emotional intimacy with myself and with other people.
On walking in to the recovery program could I be completely honest with myself.
On walking in to the recovery program did I think I could stop myself from gambling or other unhealthy habits.
Then by finding a deep therapy based meeting that was where deep honesty grew in the meetings.
That is also where my fears reduced and I became more aware of myself and aware of my hurt inner child.
Why did my physical age and my emotional age not match up.
Why was I not able to articulate what my feelings and my emotions were.
At what time in my recovery would I give such deep therapies that my hurt inner child no longer lived in fear of exposing him self to other people.
By finding a deep therapy based meeting that was where my emotional intimacy grew in the room.
Then my emotional intimacy grew with in my family.
We often think that in our relationships that we were the only ones hurt in our childhood.
The like minded people in the recovery program took recovery very seriously, giving up and facing their fears, understanding that our anger and guilt told us we were not healing our pains.
The recovery program helped me understand that the word recovery means healing.
If I was not healing my pains I would still react in some very unhealthy angry aggressive ways.
The recovery program helped me understand that if I did the work in my recovery I would find inner peace and healing by putting time and great effort in to my work.
Meetings after meetings were very powerful.
There has been many hours spent standing outside meetings after they closed which helped me so much.
The recovery program helped me help myself.
The recovery program helped me overcome a huge procrastination.
They say that honesty is the best policy but what do they know.
Healing love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Hi Dave of Beckenham,
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Just wanted to pop over and say thank you for taking the time to reach out last week, I really appreciate it. I am truly determined and I’m hoping that the peer support and one to one sessions which start next week push my forward again.
It sounds like the recovery program meetings really helped you along in your journey to find inner peace.Â
take care
Â
Martin
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@martin_b_1 Hi Martin The recovery program helped me abstain from addictions and obsessions.
Then once I got in to therapies at meetings then the healing starts to kick in.
Pains in my life caused many fears in me that I di dnot understand.
I have been in the recovery program over 50 years now.
Yet I am 32 years clean of my Gambling addiction.
Only once I gave up talking about money lost of being action only the I could get in to deep therapies.
The more time and effort put into a healthy recovery then our life changes from unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions .
Invest in yourself you are well worth it.
Dave L
@q86r2ugj5p do you mind me asking, what meetings these were? Your posts come across very honest, and humble, they are nice to read and do offer hope which is lovelyÂ
@cem9p15y4k Hi
Because of pains in the earlier part of my life I learned to live in fear and was protecting the hurt inner child in me.
I use to go to the old meeting place in Barnet which was very raw yet very exposing of the pains people were in.
It was not just honesty it was also about being able to articulate myself.
For sure I was a victim in many ways yet got to understand being a victim is due to the fact we are not able to speak out for our self from a place of inner peace.
I also go to understand that everything that was done to me that was very unhealthy made me a very restricted survivor.
Most people step four because it asks us to be honest.
As a chill when ever I was asked to be honest I was punished in painful ways.
So I grew up thinking that being honest was painful.
In the healthy open meetings the more fears I faced the more emotional intimacy there was.
And in time emotional intimacy was the part of the healthy healing process for me.
Thank you for your comments please let me know if there is more I can talk to you about or answer.
Dave L
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