Why did I lie, can I live my life without lying to myself and to other people today.

Hi

On walking in to the recovery program over 50 years ago I could not understand my self or my lies.

I am a non religious person.

I can say that the recovery program helped me get more honest with myself.

And being honest is not about beating ourself up.

My lies just indicated how much pain and fear I was living at at that time.

Pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

When my therapies were not being I was trying to protect the hurt inner child in me.

My conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values.

People will have many excuses why they lie and will justify it to them self.

For me telling lies was fear and pain based.

For me telling lies also indicated my lack of healthy emotional intimacy with myself and with other people.

On walking in to the recovery program could I be completely honest with myself.

On walking in to the recovery program did I think I could stop myself from gambling or other unhealthy habits.

Then by finding a deep therapy based meeting that was where deep honesty grew in the meetings.

That is also where my fears reduced and I became more aware of myself and aware of my hurt inner child.

Why did my physical age and my emotional age not match up.

Why was I not able to articulate what my feelings and my emotions were.

At what time in my recovery would I give such deep therapies that my hurt inner child no longer lived in fear of exposing him self to other people.

By finding a deep therapy based meeting that was where my emotional intimacy grew in the room.

Then my emotional intimacy grew with in my family.

We often think that in our relationships that we were the only ones hurt in our childhood.

The like minded people in the recovery program took recovery very seriously, giving up and facing their fears, understanding that our anger and guilt told us we were not healing our pains.

The recovery program helped me understand that the word recovery means healing.

If I was not healing my pains I would still react in some very unhealthy angry aggressive ways.

The recovery program helped me understand that if I did the work in my recovery I would find inner peace and healing by putting time and great effort in to my work.

Meetings after meetings were very powerful.

There has been many hours spent standing outside meetings after they closed which helped me so much.

The recovery program helped me help myself.

The recovery program helped me overcome a huge procrastination.

They say that honesty is the best policy but what do they know.

Healing love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham