why,why,why!!!!!!!

You're welcome Cheryl - you have been so very supportive to us all on this site. We help each other get through this awful time in our lives. WE CAN DO IT!! Be strong! Helen. X

Hi Cheryl

There is no quick fix at all

Only YOU can do this

Nothing changes if nothing changes

As long as you get financial help,as you know deep down you are not paying bills or debts with it you are gambling with it still trying for that MAGIC win

Only you can fix this as I said previously you have to be 100% committed to STOPPING and abstaining and then maintaining, no it's not easy but it sure beats getting into more and more debt

Sadly there is no magic wand for any CG but letting those losses go and coming to terms with what is now today is such an achievement to move forward

YOU WILLNEVER WIN your stakes have gone too high but you will lose more and more unless you let go

Gambling beat me to a pulp I sincerely hope it's your time now to just let go

Even four months on for me it's still tough but if I had not stopped I would not be here now

Be strong you know what you have to do to start getting out of this mess and I wish you all the strength I can send you and am walking along side with you

Do it for you do it for your family because they suffer too and they are the innocent party in all of this S***e

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne, have acknowledged just what the bigger effect of my gambling has done to the family. That is why we all suffer with the guilt of our addiction.

I thought before this relapse I was 100% committed and having read loads of diaries that is what everyone hopes for.

Will take things one day at a time and see what happens.

Ty for your support and wise words they help enormously

Cheryl xxx

Cheryl

One day at a time is good

Sending you positive thoughts and strength

Suzanne xx

Hi Cheryl

Whatever you are feeling now you can get through. One day or even one hour at a time. You are not alone and have our support.

Once the financial issues are sorted (and I hope they are soon for you) you will begin to feel better. Remember, a bad day in recovery is still better than a good day gambling.

Hope things pick up for you soon.

Take care.

Elfie x

Ty Elfie,

Yes true words of wisdom, anything is better than throwing my money away and am slowly taking each day at a time.

The immediate situation with finances is just with me constantly as really don't know what to do. Have tried every avenue I can think of but to no avail.

Never say never I know but this is an incredibly important thing I need to resolve, but I got myself into this I will have to sort it out somehow.

Been on a 12hr night shift so am off to bed soon hoping I can sleep

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Cheryl xxx

Hi Cheryl

Hope you got some sound sleep

Thank you so much for your message

Yes even 128 days on I won't lie, it's tough not so much to gamble Infact that has gone out the window for now

It's all the aftermath of it all and the guilt and shame is still there

None of it is easy but we have to take one day at a time with everything and try not to be too hard on ourselves

Sending you positive and strong thoughts to help you cope with this S***e and my support is unconditional

WHO THE HELL INVENTED ON LINE GAMBLING probably one of the richest people in the world lol

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi

Firstly I slept quite well, secondly despite my current immediate situation, I have truly woken ( today at least ) to the fact I NEVER WANT TO GAMBLE AGAIN .

I also mean no desire, Our car is off road , lack of funds due to my gambling, so I took a bus to work, a usually 10 minute journey took me 1 hr 10 mins as missed the first. Was standing watching the traffic and thought how much time I spend on the internet indoors. My shift was extremely busy but we laughed nearly all the way throughout the shift .

I know I gamble when I am stressed, but also when I am lonely but in reverse the gambling has made me solitary causing loneliness.

Have got forms to fill out for counselling and have a Debt Management plan virtually sorted.

I am still scared but strangely I feel I just want to truly start living again and my OH is much more understanding than I ever thought he would be.

Today I actually feel blessed in my life , I have self excluded from one site which automatically closes down affiliated site and that actually felt empowering.

People on this site have become friends and it's sad we won't ever meet but will be keeping a lot of you in my heart.

I am day 3 but have decided hard work and picking up overtime shifts will help me and feeling sorry for myself will not. Obviously balanced so I don't burn myself out

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Cheryl xxx

Wow Cheryl

That's really good to read

Suzanne xx

Hi Cheryl

A really positive post. You are not letting it beat you. You go girl. As for never meeting, well you never know when paths may cross although probably not in my case as I do live more than a car trip away.

Keep on being positive, life will get better every day.

Elfie x

Day 4

Still trying to keep positive and definitely don't want to gamble. On 2 12hr nights again so no opportunity to either.

Just no luck with immediate issues which is beginning to really scare me.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Thanks Cheryl

12 hour shifts are S***e I hope they go quick for you

Sending you strong and positive thoughts

Suzanne xx

Hi Cheryl, I am Andy, 3 years free after 000's of day 1's ! One thing that really helped me was getting rid of the credit/debit cards and getting an ATM only card. It can only be used at atm's for taking out cash and cannot be used online. I read you bank with Lloyds and they will supply you with one and cancel your other gambling one !

Tell them you have a shopping addiction and just want a standard atm card. And get a standard phone that just makes calls and messages with NO internet access. Wishing you all the best.

Andy

Ty Andy

Will certainly think about the ATM only card sounds a good idea although I do grocery shopping online as I don't always have access to the car.

May have to reconfigure my days off to incorporate taking OH to work at 5.30 to have the car.

We certainly do all have instant Internet access with our smart phones and will have to think really hard about that one. Have self excluded from all sites accessible from my phone now so will give it consideration

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Day 5

Should be asleep but can't, I am just not going to get through this and realise that I am wholeheartedly to blame.

Realisation has struck me that my options are few, it's scary.