why,why,why!!!!!!!

Hi Cheryl! Hope everything going well for you....as Suzanne says....a bit of extra cash is dangerous....it has always been the case for me!! Be VERY careful and remember how miserable you have been over the past couple of weeks!! STAY STRONG AND DONT GAMBLE! Helen. X

Hi Diary

Day 20, no gambling for me and have my blocks in place. Have had urges but money is either gone to start paying endless debts and rest in partners account. He can give me cash but have said no more than 10 a time to get necessities. Can't say it's pain free but the feelings are too bad when gambling and lose that I will not want the feelings of despair again.

The amount owed is still mamouth but I do not wish to add to that.

Ty to everyone for your support it means so much

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Should really be asleep but can't!

Hi Cheryl

Thanks for your kind words

20 days is brilliant it will be 3 weeks tomorrow

That you have WON

You are coming across with determination now and that is sooo positive for you

Stay strong and keep going

Suzanne xx

Day 22

Nights over am off to bed to sleep, wish it could be for a week as so tired. No gambling and some urges but I soon got rid of those.

I am amazed at how different life looks minus gambling and it makes me realise just how much I have ignored, neglected. Friends, house and of course my family who have obviously got used to me being absent, so to speak.

So I have some work to do

Night night

Cheryl xxx

Hi Cheryl

Thanks for your ongoing support, it is much appreciated

22 days is fantastic, you are doing it girl

You are seeing things in a different light now, which a very very positive road to be on now

You really are doing well, gambling consumes us totally

We think of nothing else when in the oblivion of it, once we let go and realise gambling has beaten us we can really move forward

Be very proud of yourself because you are doing it

One day at a time still small steps Nd each day you abstain you will get stronger and kicking those those urges right out of the window

Well done Cheryl

Suzanne xx

Very odd day today, really tearful and low maybe just overtired but think the magnitude of the effects of this blasted addiction have really hit me. No urges in fact, for today, it repulses me. But everything I do to shake it off is not working at present. Maybe just a phase as it feels like I am waiting for something awful to happen. Really unsettling and felt every action during the day drained me.

Reading through some diaries there are some amazing, strong people on here, so am sorry for sounding off but need to write/say it somewhere.

Nearly 23 days so at least my resolve has not left me even if my mind has! !

Cheryl xxx

Morning Cheryl

It part of the process of abstaining, feeling low and waiting for something awful to happen, it does not last long.

I also have feelings that I have done something wrong but I have not,I think it's partly guilt of what we have done

It is unsettling but it does goes away quite quickly Nd you feel even more determined and stronger to keep abstaining

I had these feelings over the weekend on and off but feel stronger and wiser for overcoming them

23 days today very well done keep gong taking one day at a time

Suzanne xx

Hi Cheryl

Sorry you've had a bad day, I do some days but I try to live by the motto "even a bad day in recovery is better than a good day gambling".

Mr G (our old gambling friend) was a false friend, one who promises you a good time only to leave you crying and broken in a gutter somewhere, all alone. We don't need friends like that, if we had actual friends who behaved like that we would get rid of them. Not in a hire a hit man and take them out kind of way, that would be drastic, but we would cut them from our lives. And that is exactly what we have done to Mr G.

Of course Mr G comes calling sometimes and wants to go out and play but I have replaced him now with Mr N (normal and nice), Mr S (safe but skint) and Mr B (boring but better). Hmm, all my friends seem to be male! As time goes on they will be joined by Ms M (motivated and masterful), Mrs L (lucky and loving live) and Miss H (happy and healthy). A much better choice of real, true friends.

You are doing so well, my friend, don't let it get you down.

Elfie x

Hi Diary

Day 24 I think, lost a few days being on nights! !

Ty Elfie and Suzanne for you kind and funny words very much appreciated. Not much time to think of anything as been on 12hr day today. Still no gambling and no urges. So so tired

Cheryl xxx

Day 26

Can't say no urges but no money so no chance although I don't want to waste another pay day on gambling so am keeping my guard up. Pay day is next Thursday and need to sort it so I don't get complacent although I have so many blocks in place I can't, but want to start believing in myself again. Life is going to be challenging for a bit but that's OK

Cheryl xxx

well done on day 26

just be careful

not going to spell it out if you don't get it but no money doesn't necessarily mean no gambling

its always possible to gamble.

That being said i love you keep your guard up and are helping so many others on here

keep the inspiration up

tri

Hi Cheryl

You are really doing well 26 days is great

Pleased you are keeping your guard up and don't forget that you are winning every day and that is a great big fat positive

Well done

Suzanne xx

Day 27

Nearly 4 whole weeks and No gambling, this has emotionally and physically drained me but is well worth the effort. Have days full of urges and other days where it repulses me. The rollercoaster is perpetual but my resolve to stay on is great

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

congrats Cheryl you are doing so well

big high five from me

keep up the vigilance

tri

Hi. Cheryl

27 days and 4 whole weeks tomorrow.

You are doing brill riding through the highs and lows

Keep going stay determined and positive.

Well done

Suzanne xx