why,why,why!!!!!!!

Day 40

Onwards and upwards.
Time to kick this addiction where it hurts for 2015. Wouldn't it be nice to see the gaming industry struggle as we do but with all the ads on TV, search engines, radio and the like for each one of us abstaining they probably attract 2 newbies.
Gosh how I remember when I could control this rather than it me!!!
Well at least they won't be getting my hard earned cash for this day, week dare I say month.
To all of you I wish you a safe and gamble free day

Cheryl xxx

Morning Cheryl,

It's so good to read your strong and positive post, and 40 days gamble free, well done for your persistence to remain gamblng free

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Day 41

What a windy day!!
No gambling and no urges yesterday to fight, have enough else to think about.
Have realised that in my worst/highest depositing periods I was always losing, so back to the chasing losses.
There are many excuses as to why I gambled and I personally don't think greed was part of it in the last few weeks/months I never got far above my deposit then crashed and burned.
So mine was the ridiculousness of loss chasing.
Never is this good.
I remember being on a well known site early ish in my addiction and someone won over 1 million on a slot game. That spurred me on in my naivety to deposit much more!!!!
Apparently it was the usual in that it was their first week on the site and supposedly only deposited £30 plus a cash match.
In 20/20 hindsight I have seen that so often on a sites big winners list.
So greed maybe but hope to win big also, definitely.
Well Mr online slot no more naivety I can't win because I can't stop feeding the thing.
So 41 days is good, I am sorting a small amount of the fall out but again for today you will not get my money.
So onwards and upwards

Cheryl xxx

Morning Cheryl,

I can totally relate to the bigger deposits the less we won, and so therefore chased and chased,,utter madness my friend.

41 days of not spending even one single penny on any form of gambling well done, very proud of you.

It's good to see you posting more often again too.

Onwards and upwards is the only way to go forwards and you are doing it.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Lol Cheryl,

Half way through putting shopping on the belt, he wanted the toilet desperately, and much to the disgust of impatient customers behind me, I had no choice but to take him, as he is out of nappies now Hurray, (for the nappy bit lol) but the customers had to wait for us to come back from the loo, to continue my shopping experience lol.

Xxx

After years of being abused sorry(subjected to bt customers) it felt bloody good to make them wait, all my packing was done by the time we hot back as well, but I still meticously checked it (as I know too well how easy mistakes are made lol) Even if OH won the lottery now, my brain had been retrained to pick out the cheapest bargains and thst is a good positive to now have, Have blushed for the first time in years today,,and that is because of what Stephen said, but do you know Cheryl, it meansI,am alive again and I luv that man to bits like you,,don't know either of you but I am here for both of you unconditionally

Suzanne xxxx

You are doing so well with you choices

thanks for all your support too

means a lot

tri

To those of you who support me thanks it means so much.
Today will not be a day of gambling, so onwards and upwards

Cheryl xxx

To those of you who support me thanks it means so much.
Today will not be a day of gambling, so onwards and upwards

Cheryl xxx

Hi Cheryl, not 'spoken' before but I just wanted to comment that you have made it onto my 'Big Winners' list!

Welcome to Day 42 & beating these demons - ODAAT

Hi Cheryl,

42 days of abstaining and maintaining, am proud of you, -as for triggers, I honestly don't/ and probably never will know what triggered me into becoming a CG, all I know is what started as harmless online bingo, very quickly turned into,obsessive uncontrollable gambling on on line slots, and I could not see it happening.

Anyway you are doing just great.

Have a good gambling free Sunday.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Cheryl, thanks for dropping by! It matters not where we are on our journey, only that we all stay on the same path & continue to walk it 🙂

I was posting when you put your daily update on today so did not read it until now! I appreciate that I am sometimes very judgmental & I apologise if any of my posts have ever offended you, I never have that as my intention but I do say what I see & I understand it can seem harsh sometimes! Rest assured, I have nothing but support for what you are achieving, coming back into recovery after a nasty slip proves you will never give up giving up! I really do hope you find the strength you need to stay safe along this journey - ODAAT

Thanks for dropping by again 🙂

I'm glad I haven't offended you (wasn't sure if you were typing as I was too so hadn't noticed me on here), it may not have been directed @ me but it was a timely reminder to me in any case so thank-you!

Stay strong - ODAAT

Day 43

Woke up far too early very much on edge for some reason!!!
Horrible feeling but no desire to gamble although can't say no thoughts. But this is a New year and for today I will not gamble.
Think the havoc, pain and hurt I have caused with this darn addiction is reminder enough not to do it again. But will take it one day at a time.
We are currently both unable to drive so saving some money on petrol. Small change really but as a well known supermarket says " every little helps "!!
Physically, emotionally and morally this addiction has done all it is going to do to me. Time for me to take back control.
Onwards and upwards
Cheryl xxx
Hope it's not too little too late! !!!

Morning Cheryl,

WOW 43 days, of winning, well done.

These feelings will pass, just push through them, it is part of the process in recovery, you are doing soooo well, very proud of you

Take care

Suzanne xxx