why,why,why!!!!!!!

Ty Ken, Suzanne and Tee Jay,

Have woken in a real state, but ty for your support.

Really feel determined not to gamble although I don't feel positive about much else.

Have let my bills rack up and can, as yet, not find a solution. Maybe I should continue to keep researching but DO need to make some decisions soon.

KEN

Any information would be helpful ty.

I do try to stay positive but I think I also have fear guiding me at the moment.

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

CHERYL xxx

Hi Cheryl

Tough days, I know, but soon the clouds and fear will lift and you will have chance to stand back, assess what you have been through and decide where you are going with a clearness of thought that I guess, you have not had for a long time.

I have dug out some links for you. The first is a 40 minute video from Australia which many in our group thought was very insightful and also helpful. I would say this is a must watch.

The other 3 links include some interesting material finishing with a video lecture, which the general consensus was that it was good, but not as good as the first video.

I hope that this helps in some way. Feel free to ask me any questions, I will do my best to answer them promptly and honestly, drawing on my personal experience. The destination is worth the troubled journey, trust me. xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jd4K-kJkpo

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.php

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/08/19/your_brain_on_gambling/?page=full

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8PLXnqhuNc

There is a short book entitled Q.U.I.T which is a 4 step programme to stop gambling.

Q Question yourself about your gambling. Examine your relationship with gambling and why you gamble the way that you do.

U Understand what the problem is. (I am not sure that this is any different to the first one, but give the guy a break, he is trying to make the acronym work)

I I am the sole decision maker in my decision to stop gambling. It is critical to stop because I want to stop and not because someone else wants me to stop.

T Take control and think positively.

I have written a brief synopsis. Sorry if it is a bit disjointed, but I was scribbling notes as I listened and have not had chance to tidy them up.

All you need is a desire to stop gambling?

It has to be your decision to want to stop gambling. Recognise that you have a gambling addiction. Do you gamble in secret? Do you lie about your gambling? Do you have trouble controlling your gambling?

Gambling addiction is an impulse controlled disorder. You know that your gambling is hurting you or others but you cannot control the impulse to gamble, regardless of the consequences. Gambling is a problem if it is disrupting your life in any way. Many different emotions or situations can trigger your gambling. Stress at work, unpleasant feelings, depression, loneliness. Try to identify triggers that make you want to gamble and find healthier ways to cope with them.

Problem gambling is not just a financial issue, it will affect other aspects of your life, relationships etc.

You are the only person who can make decisions for you in your life. It is important that you take responsibility for your actions and decisions. You have the right to make mistakes, you have the right to say no, you have the right to your opinions, you have the right to change your mind and take a different path.

Stop gambling for you and if you are having trouble remind yourself of the benefits of not gambling. Healthier lifestyle and relationships and you will be better able to cope with what life throws at you.

Take control and think positive. Identify what emotions you feel that make you want to gamble. Allow yourself to feel the emotion. Talk to yourself. Restructure your thinking and set positive goals. If you have a relapse, treat it as a single event that you can learn from. Ask yourself what caused it and how you can prevent it happening again in the future.

Find new hobbies, read books, avoid isolation, make new friends and get support from people who know what you are going through, eg from GA or an online forum.

Enjoy your new found free time, take everything one step at a time, enjoy taking back control of your life, enjoy rebuilding relationships and new pastimes.

At Ga, we often say 'One day at a time' . Some time ago I came across this and sadly I have no idea who wrote it. I like the message.

One Day at a Time

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its blunders, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only; one day - TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - yesterday and tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Ty Ken,

Am having a sort out day, did an online check with payplan who suggest my only route is bankruptcy, something I fear immensely. Have self excluded and feel relieved and , somehow stupidly sad. My impetus was always to make money but never did cos couldn't stop.

Am now going through post I have ignored for too long, will find even more reasons to apply for bankruptcy.

Have checked life insurance incase it all gets too much for me, I fear failure but have to admit, at present that is how I feel.

I know I have been positive in admitting this addiction and trying to stop but also feel I have left it too late.

I have 24,000 equity in house but sale will be slow,

Feel refreshed from what I have achieved, but deeply despondent from what I have discovered.

No gambling today, go me....

Trying some light heartedness as need a bit of respite.

Not sure of outcome and when finished all financial research will look at links Ken, so ty in advance.

Suzanne and Tee jay your support is extremely important and welcomed,

Here goes with the post, what a state to be in, my Gran would be saying

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Normally when I find debt letters it would push me to gamble to win, I didn't even think of it once.

Hope I can sort something out to avoid bankruptcy as am sure my whole family would disown me, but that may be a price I have to pay and maybe they would come around. At least I am finally facing my responsibility, albeit rather late. Feels as though I haven't slept in a week but I know I am doing something positive.

2, 12 hour shifts Thursday/Friday so won't be posting much.

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Hi Cheryl

It's really hard when we have to face our debts which is the damage gambling has left us with and I really feel for you but you are addressing them now so well done

it's absolutely ludicrous that we have let ourselves get to this mess I am slowly paying my debts off but at least I am not increasing them

I really hope you can come to an agreement where you can have a payment plan without going down the bankruptcy line

Its never too late so don't think it is stay strong these days will pass I know it's total s**t at the moment

Take care

Suzanne x

Ty Suzanne,

Have had several emails from payplan saying they can possibly get me on a repayment plan. So will just keep plugging away as really don't think bankruptcy would be a good option.

Here's hoping, again no desire to gamble at the moment so that's a positive

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Cheryl

You have to fight any urges if they come because it will only get you deeper and deeper into the s**t stay strong on that one pleased you may have another option to bankruptcy once finances are sorted you will feel stronger and you will feel tired and sleep just keep going

Suzanne xx

Hi Cheryl

This link will take you to a debt management charity who will be able to give you good, free advice. As I understand it your creditors are obligated to freeze your debts and suspend all interest and charges on them. You should be able to negotiate repayments that allow you to retain much of your salary each month, so that the repayments do you cause you undue stress and allow you to enjoy a decent lifestyle. Try not to cause yourself too much anxiety as the outcome of these negotiations may take a little time, but are generally much better than people imagine is possible. Take care.

Ken xx

Hi Ken,

Sorry no link on my side, ty for all your advice and support. Think some of the fog is lifting or maybe just getting my head out of my ar`e!!!

Think I realise I have a fight on my hands on both sides, gambling and debt.

Am actually going to try to get some sleep for a change

Take care all

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Day 8

Off to work soon so no chance to gamble and, no inclination as yet.

Have fallen twice since started but am more determined than ever to beat this

Hope you all stay strong

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Morning Cheryl

Have a good day at work

Stay strong and safe

Suzanne xx

Hi cheryl

You ARE doing so well!! You are facing your problems head on, it can't/won't be easy but you will get there.

Remember take one day at a time.

Best wishes

Tee jay x

Hi Cheryl

Not sure why the link did not appear. I will try again. Have a good day and if you don't stop trying you will prevail.

http://www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/DMPDebtmanagementplan.aspx

Ty Tee Jay, Suzanne and Ken

Busy day and sooooo hot, thanks for messages and ty Ken for link it is there this time

Too tired for anything so off to bed soon

Keep strong and stay gamble free

Cheryl xxxxx

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING

Day 9

Feel tired and a bit wobbly today, but no wagers, although it was such a stressful day have to seriously try some distraction elsewhere.

I WILL NOT STOP TRYING