why,why,why!!!!!!!

Lol lol, Cheryl, it's all about the bras, ohhh HB day indeed.

Sxxxxxxxxx

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for dropping by on my diary and your kind words. Not sure what to say lol, i guess i need a little more time to get my head round recent events...but dear soldier, anything is possible if you believe that. Never forget that every single day you abstain you're a little closer to getting your life back. It is simply worth it! You are doing it hun and am more than proud of you!
Slowly slowly catchy monkey, keep up good work 😉

Sandra x

Day 123
Typical the day I start nights again and awoke at 5.15am!!!!!
Two major priority debts all paid and as Michael Buble puts it " I'm feeling good"!!
Still things going on re house but I am still here at present.
My brother who is loaded decided this year he will not be giving birthday presents so I am upset for my youngest who turned 18, 2 weeks ago, she got a card at least. Life is and always be unfair but as I told her, never expect anything then you don't get disappointed. Still annoyed though as he gave my eldest a sum of money on her birthday. Due to not gambling I too was able to give her cash, which is what she wanted, and fund a party, so another Michael Buble moment.
Downside is I gave £1000 to my friend who passed away for safe keeping for my daughter's birthday so will now need to give it to her in instalments as we didn't write anything down so can't ask her mother for it as it feels wrong.
I now have enough alcohol in the house to be drunk for 2 months lol.
Tis still weird that I get the thoughts that I could gamble and double my money but then my brain kicks in and says NOOOOГ’OO!
All thanks to the support and advice on this site.
Anyway am off browsing for bras so I can have HB's
Onwards and upwards
Cheryl xxx

Ha ha glad to see your searching for the right support so to speak! HBs indeed lol

Morning Cheryl,

HBs indeed, and doesn't it feel good when we can see progress with our lives, and paying those debts off is truly a HD feeling.

Yes that 1000 is not good, but you did not waste it on gambling.

You will get thoughts especially as your cash flow is getting better, just keep saying NO and carry on winning.

You have done fantasticly well keep strong and keep going because we know we cannot just have one small bet, we would not stop.

Yes my job is fine thanks, it's not stressful like my last one and it's less hours, that was another change I made to make my life better HDs

Take care

Sxxxxxxxx

Hi Cheryl,

Such a lovely and honest post.
You are right telling your daughter about not expecting anything so no dissapointment is present, still it Sucks that your brother is like that 🙁 ...either way, you being there for her on her big day with your body and soul is the best prezzie ever 🙂 the fog has truly lifted and you should b proud of yourself! Good job on saying NO to mr G, he is nothing but lier my friend, don't fall in for those...Recovery is the only way forward and you're doing more than amazing job!

Now..onto serious business....how come ya offering me tea and biscuits when ya are loaded with drink for two months!? ;-)...good in a way cause so far in my book alcohol led to gambling 🙁 ...oh dear....i guess some changes has to be made 🙂

You take care and put yourself, your family and recovery first! Be proud and keep winning my friend

Sandra xx

Oh Cheryl, how I feel for you coveting that one item 😉 HB indeed, there's nothing more comforting than a pretty, well fitting bra...You boyz will never understand!

This run of sorrow must surely end soon...I am so sorry to hear about your friend, I hope you have some support with this loss! More money woes too but I'm sure your baby will understand!

As long as your brain keeps telling Mr Gamble NOOOO, you will get through this - ODAAT

Day 125
Have woken from my comatose sleep following nights.
Feel alive, refreshed and full of bulls##t ha ha.
Tiredness and sarcasm go hand in hand with moi,
So will keep it short and no urges for a few days and actually haven't thought of it at all since being on nights, mind you we are kept going pretty much the whole 12 hours.
Am off for a cold shower and rub down with a french masseuse so see ya all laters.......
Maybe need the cold shower afterwards!?!?@
Onwards and upwards
Cheryl xxx

Morning Cheryl,

126 days Ohh HDs indeed well done .

Did you get a cold shower afterwards Ohh lol.

Have a lovely gambling and stressfree Easter Sunday.

Sxxxxxxx

Day 127

Housework done, washing done, ironing done.
I would have spent a day like today spinning slots, losing money and feeling dreadful afterwards.
I do miss the buzz but am finding that is diminishing, but I don't miss the awful feeling after the inevitable large loss.
Money is tight but it's now spent on the right things and one payday loan has been written off so a silver lining there.
Hope you are all enjoying the bank holidays
Onwards and upwards
Cheryl xxx

brutus123C wrote: Day 127 Housework done, washing done, ironing done. I would have spent a day like today spinning slots, losing money and feeling dreadful afterwards. I do miss the buzz but am finding that is diminishing, but I don't miss the awful feeling after the inevitable large loss. Money is tight but it's now spent on the right things and one payday loan has been written off so a silver lining there. Hope you are all enjoying the bank holidays Onwards and upwards Cheryl xxx

That's a great silver lining Cheryl

Well done tri

129 days am seriously amazed at myself.
Had a great family Easter and have been working the past 2 days.
Medicine seems now to have started to work and having more positive thoughts.
Onwards and upwards
Cheryl xxx

Havnt checked in with you in a while Cheryl. Glad to see your doing great. Be proud.

Dan x

130 days today, you should be seriously amazed with yourself and very proud of yourself.

Am sooo pleased that your meds have kicked in, BRING ON more POSITIVTY, you deserve all the gifts that being in recovery gives you my friend. Keep going for it recovery is an amazing journey.

Sxxxxxxxx

Hey there my friend 🙂

Whoop whoop on your great achievement! Very proud of you! So proud i might jump in my car and come round with fresh cakes and a cuppa lol (unless ya still got that stash of "percentage" somewhere )

Not bk to work till next week, but will defo be there will all the balloons when we finally find that spare minute out of our jobs 🙂

Be proud! You're doing amazing!

One day at a time

S x