why,why,why!!!!!!!

Glad your knee is getting better. It's not until we have mobility problems we realise how fortunate we are and how hard it is to do things. Hope it doesn't rear up again. Lovely to hear the fog is clearing in your head. I have had some iffy days but today hasn't been one of them and we have to accept we are a changeable bunch but each day is a new one to be lived and enjoy. Take care Mary

Hi Cheryl, glad to see you getting back to health 🙂

If I remember rightly Suzanne had some terrible urges around this time too, as armed with the expectation from her diary, I was able to head them off & the pass! Great work for pushing through 🙂 It's crazy that the urges can be so strong after so long without it, (especially knowing everything we know about recovery) but each fight makes us stronger so keep fighting - ODAAT

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for dropping by 🙂
Good to see you feeling better and strong as ever in the battle with this addiction!!
Well done and b proud of yourself

Sorry if made you a little emotional with my last post. Don't be shedding any tears, that's my job :-))))

See you soon girl, those breaks gets kinda boring without a chit chat 😉

Keep on moving forward

S x

180 today girl, very proud of you,

Keep strong and keep winning.

Sxxxxxxx

Day 180 ( in the big brother house lol!!!)
Well one addiction has been replaced by another lol.
This new one is much less expensive and makes me feel good.
Cleaning is my new addiction and oh my how I am getting excited each morning about what I can sort.
8 years of addiction has created a very neglected house. Stained the front door looks like a new one, went to daughters yesterday and sorted/cleared and cleaned her upstairs and outside of her conservatory lol. She was ecstatic and I loved spending 8 hours in her company again.
I have always got bleach in my cupboard so house smells of bleach most of the time.
It is not destructive and costs £10 a week to maintain the addiction so am well off in comparison.
Money is still tight and I do still hate the postman coming but am currently still in my home.
Well off to tidy/clean 2 cupboards so be safe
Cheryl xxx

Hi C,

You are getting my cleaning bug lol, don't forget the windows, HDs indeed,

Sxxxxx

brutus123C wrote: Day 180 ( in the big brother house lol!!!) Well one addiction has been replaced by another lol. This new one is much less expensive and makes me feel good. Cleaning is my new addiction and oh my how I am getting excited each morning about what I can sort. 8 years of addiction has created a very neglected house. Stained the front door looks like a new one, went to daughters yesterday and sorted/cleared and cleaned her upstairs and outside of her conservatory lol. She was ecstatic and I loved spending 8 hours in her company again. I have always got bleach in my cupboard so house smells of bleach most of the time. It is not destructive and costs £10 a week to maintain the addiction so am well off in comparison. Money is still tight and I do still hate the postman coming but am currently still in my home. Well off to tidy/clean 2 cupboards so be safe Cheryl xxx

lol you'll have to start taking bookings

probably be a few people who would love your company

so proud of you Cheryl

Tri

182 today girl, am so proud of you too, keep doing what you are doing, keep committing to 100% recovery, and keep winning your life back, slowly but surely one day at a time lol.

And yep cleaning cleanses us from the self destructive addiction, soooo keep on CLEANING lol HDs indeed.

Sxxxxxxxx

Thanks for your support Cheryl,

OAU we go taking one day at a time, as always lol.

Sxxxxxx

Day 185
Still going strong but massive urges at moment and I still can't seem to get in my thick skull that this is not an easy way to get money. In fact it's a sure fire way of getting into even more s@@t!!!!
Have not given in to the urges as have all my blocks in place, that's not to say I wouldn't have if I could have got access. How daft am I.
Today is a new day but I am full of dread and uneasiness. So I am finding avenues to distract my mind and yes most of it involves cleaning :0) xx
There have been too many positives to let the demon back now and I need to stay strong.

Have a good day
Cheryl xxx

186 today C,

Keep cleaning and cleaning those silly thoughts will go, and as you say there are far too many positives now and they get better and better, as we move OAUs

Have a strong gamb,I got free day.

Sxxxxxxx

Hi Cheryl,

Ohh girl, what's happening with those urges..you know they're only thoughts right..keep fighting them off honey, it's sooo not worth going back..It's very dark and lonely place..you don't need that....
Every day is different and just look how much better you will feel waking up every morning with no regrets of the night before...yep...regrets, cause that's all we get for playing with evil..

Now..into more uplifting stuff...milk & sugar with your coffee? 😉

Stay safe soldier, keep fighting..you're worth it! Your family is worth it..your future is worth all the effort you put in now..it will get easier. You are in control of your actions and i know how much you want your freedom!

Tipu tapu...:-)))))
(Lol..that's small baby steps translated from my language)..keep tipping tapping away girl!

S x

Day 188
Just woke as was late from work and thought I could stay awake all day.
Doing the job I do I see how fragile life is and my decisions HAVE to be fast (on many occasions ), to protect and get timely and appropriate interventions for each situation. Experience, knowledge and intuition are my friends and I always make the right decision.
I come home drained some nights/mornings, we do so all walk that fine line between life and death.
A friend had a baby 4 weeks early and the little mite is fighting for life.
So with all this around me why would I want to destroy any part left for me and mine on this mortal soil.
It can be plucked from us without a second thought.
The urges have lessened, although mainly as I have been on nights.
I definitely will not gamble today and tomorrow we are going to help sort out my late Mother in Laws house as the debtors are making her son homeless!!!!! to pay her debts. She too was a CG.
I have too much to live for, new grandson in September, my family and friends.
K also got invited to go to land bingo in a couple of weeks, had to make excuses not to go.
Just feel fragile of mind at present, I know that will pass with a good night's sleep.
Sorry for rambling on but I have a junk shop for a brain today.
Take care
Cheryl xxxxxxx

Hi C,

Just sending you strong and positive thoughts to get through a tough day.

Take care.

Sxxxxxx

brutus123C wrote: Day 188 Just woke as was late from work and thought I could stay awake all day. Doing the job I do I see how fragile life is and my decisions HAVE to be fast (on many occasions ), to protect and get timely and appropriate interventions for each situation. Experience, knowledge and intuition are my friends and I always make the right decision. I come home drained some nights/mornings, we do so all walk that fine line between life and death. A friend had a baby 4 weeks early and the little mite is fighting for life. So with all this around me why would I want to destroy any part left for me and mine on this mortal soil. It can be plucked from us without a second thought. The urges have lessened, although mainly as I have been on nights. I definitely will not gamble today and tomorrow we are going to help sort out my late Mother in Laws house as the debtors are making her son homeless!!!!! to pay her debts. She too was a CG. I have too much to live for, new grandson in September, my family and friends. K also got invited to go to land bingo in a couple of weeks, had to make excuses not to go. Just feel fragile of mind at present, I know that will pass with a good night's sleep. Sorry for rambling on but I have a junk shop for a brain today. Take care Cheryl xxxxxxx

Your fighting though Cheryl

Proud of you and all the effort your putting in

Keep it up

Tri