Anyone else heard from our cheryl?
You are missed xx
triangle wrote:
[quote=brutus123C]
Day 189 Had car accident and been in hospial for 10days. Back home last 5 days and starting to feel human again, just quite immobile.
No chance or inclination to gamble and now must stay strong
bye for now
Cheryl xx
Should we be worried for you? Nothing untoward happen? Tri x
fingers crossed cheryl xxx
Super to hear from you! Stay safe and in recovery. Tri x
Who am I kidding now,
Rock bottom and no way up now,
Self inflicted stupidity so now have to face the music....
brutus123C wrote: Who am I kidding now, Rock bottom and no way up now, Self inflicted stupidity so now have to face the music....
Welcome back. Tell us a bit more. Have you plugged back into any of the support / help? tri
Hi there!!
Just read all your diary. I hope you are ok. please reach out and let us know you are ok xx
Hi please come back and let us know your ok, if you have relapsed you can get support and the help you need x
Well it's 3 years ago since I joined and I have no strength as some do as still gambling.
So here's what's been happening since I last posted my partner left 10 weeks ago and the house was already under threat of repossesion. He had previously left and we reconciled more's the pity.
I hope what I am now going to write may spur some of you on to make better choices and show more commitment to quitting this ugly addiction than I have.
I ended up with an eviction date of the 24th and desperately tried to sell to one of those companies who buy quick but it meant a trip to court to ask for a stay of eviction as had a buyer, but true to form I couldn't as didn't have the £250 to do this due to gambling my money away.
No one knew of my situation and on the night of the 23rd I tried to cut 3 different places wrist, elbow and groin in the hope of ending it before the bailiffs threw me out at 10am.
Well clearly I failed as still here and my shame was out for all to see.
I was in such a state as they told me I had 15 minutes to pack a bag and leave. With open wounds I had to wake my 20 year old and tell her the same. She was obviously shocked and confused but started packing. It was then she notic3d the cuts, quite deep , and started to cry. That was the point I felt the woest mother on earth. I went to pack mine and the female bailiff came to speak to me and also saw the wounds and blood all over my bed. She left and then came back a few minutes later to say I could stay but needed to try and sort something out with my lender. They have given me 2 weeks and it was my worst and best moment.
I have things in place now and am in the proc3ss of putting it up for sale.
All this is due to my ridiculous addiction to throwing my money away.
I really have buried my head and realised how desperate and depressed this addiction has made me.
If nothing else I hope someone who was as low as me can read this and it spurs them to make a positive change for good.
My daughter is so wonderful and fully supports all of the current choices and decisions I am now making and I truly don't deserve her she is absolutely an amazing young lady.
I don't intend to post again so wish you all make good choices and positivity in those dark times we all have.
Hi... just stumbled across your post. Thoughts are with you. Glad youve now got things in place after that horrendous day with eviction and the bailiffs. What an awful addiction this is... how it makes us feel and the consequences. Your thoughts remind me of some of my real real low moments. I cut my wrist back in 2004... cry for help really... ended up in A & E chatting with psychiatrist in middle of night. Currently am unemployed with 10k of debt to service.. which aint gonna happen of course... eviction could come my way if i don't get my finger out and keep doing positive things and not gamble of course!!
I notice in the past you have done long stretches gamble free... so you can do it again, just as i can. We can surrender at any point. gambling has got us beat.
All the best going forward... you can change your mind about posting at any point.
Day 110 of no gambling but the onward effects are still with me. I am so committed to not gambling ever again but keep my guard up constantly. My brother has been a rock and my savious as have my 2 daughters and for the first time in years I feel I am a person who can be loved. I have been fighting a lot of demons with support from a mental health service who I actually work for!!!!!
One thing I have learnt from my 10 year addiction is never give it time to breathe. If thoughts of gambling enter my head now I just try some distraction therapy and wait for the thoughts to get suffocated.
My life looks positive now and I have good things to look forward too instead of the constant thoughts of my next fix.
Take Care all
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