why,why,why!!!!!!!

in the past people have helped me with gambling debt and its only caused more problems

its given me an excuse to gamble again

as to counselling being too late. only time its too late is when you can't change

True words triangle, ty for support. Have borrowed before to pay bills and gambled it first,

Have been reading your diary very inspirational

Cheryl xxx

you too cheryl

keep posting and sharing

tri

Hi Cheryl

Sorry you have had a slip up but you are still here posting and you will get support whether it is day 1 or day 1001. None of us can say, hand on heart, they will not slip up at some time. You have bitten the bullet and come back to say what happened and that is admirable. I think having no money and mistakenly thinking we could win some (assuming we do have a little bit to gamble with) plays a big part in relapsing but we know from past experience that it is not going to be like that. Even if we win a nice amount to get us out of a hole it is more than likely we will continue to gamble until it is all gone again. Then what? The same awful, gut-wrenching feelings we always used to have.

You are back with us, keep focused and keep strong.

You can do this.

Elfie x

I bank with Lloyds and the site allows you to see what you have spent on groups of categories it was extremely scary the amount on gambling. I know some of this is the money won ploughed back in but with what it is I could have cleared most of my debts and had a holiday.

This really is such a mugs game and not sure this has made me feel better but definitely more determined to end this stupidity once and for all.

If I manage to get through the month and definitely through the next 12 days I will try harder than ever not to let this ever happen again.

I realise how the cycle works and the money I was trying to win I actually already had so I may as well have burnt the cash.

Here's hoping I can get through this fortnight to see if my resolve persists

Cheryl xxx

Hi Cheryl

Stay strong and keep thinking positive

Time to let all that money you have lost go

You know you will never ever win back what you have gambled so why add to the losses

Time now for 100% commitment and making the winning choice and that is abstaining and maintaining

Take care

Suzanne xx

Thinking of you Cheryl! Be STRONG and stay SAFE!! Helen. X

Ty Suzanne and Helen,

12hr shift just finished so no chance to gamble and thankfully no inclination and no money.

12hr night tomorrow on overtime to try and raise some cash to help with debts. Still really not sure about next 12 days but will just have to see what happens

Cheryl xxx

Morning Diary,

Well it's truly the end of the road for me. Things financially are SO bad I can't sort it and have no means of borrowing to get me out of the immediate mess I am in. Never ever wanted this outcome and feel like a coward, which I am.

Cheryl

Morning Cheryl

Firstly you are not a coward

I was in this situation at the end I had no where to turn used all borrowing options up

You are not on your own in this mess

I really feel for you as I have been there

Have you told your OH about this awful addiction

Take a step back don't think too far ahead

It's so hard when the realisation sinks in but that is a positive because we can finally move away from the self destructive addiction

Finances can be sorted out but priority is you today don't be too hard on yourself this is not an impossible situation it can be sorted out

Stay strong

Suzanne xx

Ty Suzanne,

But honestly these can't,

Cheryl

Aww Cheryl... am so sorry... You're feeling really bad/hopeless. I agree with Suzanne.... You are the priority right now. So far as creditors go and whoever else you owe money to.....tell them...you have no money and you can't pay but you are sorting it out! If anything like me, I've been there loads of times. I have never told my husband or anyone except those people on this site. You COULD tell Citizens Advice and they will help.... maybe you need someone else to explain to creditors WHY you have no money? LISTEN.....this is 2014! You won't be sent to Bad Debtors Prison and neither will you be shot! Am so sorry if I sound patronising, I know that's the last thing you need. You have a life and you WILL make it better. Right now, look after yourself.....things can only get better! Keep posting. Helen. X

Ty Helen, but hand on heart I can assure you they cannot get better. I have faced this horror and I cannot get through the next few days financially. I have been gambling all of my money until 4 days ago and have priority bills I can't pay. I am probably the most ridiculous gambler ever as most of you at least only gamble money not put aside for bills. I can see no way out and no one can or wishes to help. My brother has said no more help and he doesn't know I gamble. My OH has nothing at all to spare. The car is now off the road and my washing machine has broken.

I expect you to read this and, like me, think she is mad. That's how I feel as though I have totally self destructed and worse of all is the fall out for all around me. I feel like I am waiting for something awful to happen, but for my family it has.

Cheryl

Cheryl....you are no more 'ridiculous' than anyone on this site. You seem to be under the impression that you are the only one gambles the money put aside to pay bills!! WE ALL DO THAT! That's why we're here. Gambling is ruining our lives - it takes everything and drains our self esteem. I've been so "lost" on occasions I have taken to my bed, under the duvet.... pretended I was ill so that someone would have to go shopping!! Is there anyone in authority at work (pay section) you could talk to and help u out for a few days? Helen x

Sorry Helen,

I maybe need a kick up the jacksie to realise I am not exclusive to this predicament. Trying to be honest in my posts so WHEN ( trying some positivity) I get through this I can re read this and realise the complete devastation it causes.

I so do not want to gamble ever again and ty for your continued support.

Cheryl xxx