Worry and Regret

Another great post.... and a realistic over view of what a gambling free life is like with all its ups and downs.

Who needs the gym when ya got the great outdoors?

Well done on gamble free time

S.A 🙂

That makes good reading.

We all need a focus.. Seems like you have one ?‍♀️?️‍♀️?️‍♀️?️‍♀️?️‍♀️

Stay strong

Boo ?

I’ve got a good day lined up. Me and the oldest boy are going to Parkrun at half nine. Straight after, youngest boy is playing football a few miles away which I’ll dart to although I will miss the first five minutes. After that, both get taken to a lovely little traditional cafe for a nice cake and then home. Going to try to squeeze in a gym visit then boys and daughter and me going to watch our team today at 3pm in big game.

Busy day. Moving quickly from one event to the next. Things getting back to normal.

Tonight is movie night with massive Dairy Milk for everyone to share. Nice.

RR

I forgot to mention yesterday that I’ve signed up for a marathon which is in May 2022. I’ve got plenty of time to train for it. I’ve only ran one marathon before now which was a good few years ago. I was younger, fitter and stronger back then but I’m going to beat that time. It’s definitely achievable. I just need to train properly, make myself lighter, eat better and have the discipline to do speed training. I run a lot but focus on mileage whereas I need to do far more speed training. Speed training is awful for someone who was once fast but no so anymore. Its hard and it hurts but thats what I need and if I want to beat my time I just need to cowboy up and get on with it. I’ve got plenty of time to train. Exciting stuff. I have a goal. Let the battles commence.

My two boys filled me with enormous pride and happiness yesterday. I always encourage them in their sporting activities and my message to them has always been that their minimum requirement is to try their best - to put in the effort. I believe you get out what you put in. Well yesterday, they were both outstanding and their effort and talent shone very brightly.

My oldest son who is just 12 beat his 5k time (battered it to be more precise). His fastest pace was just over 6 minute miles. He always had endurance and an incredible attitude to improvement but he wasn’t naturally quick. He’s trained hard in Covid times and he’s getting fast. I was so happy for him at the finish line. He’s not one to make a big fuss but I am. He was brilliant yesterday. He’s a great boy.

My other boy got very harshly criticised by me last week after his football match. Poor soul was just returning from Covid which had sort of slipped my mind. I usually always encourage with a little constructive criticism if required but last week I slaughtered him. Doesn’t often happen. Well yesterday he certainly responded. He was magnificent. Stand out man of the match, two great goals and two brilliant assists and his workrate and running in the game was incredible. He was absolutely buzzing afterwards and for the rest of the day. 

Every parent will get enjoyment out of seeing their kids do well obviously but its the attitude and desire to work hard that fills me with happiness. That ability, in my opinion, is what will see them do well. Similar to gambling recovery - the minimum requirement is to try your hardest. In life, with anything important often only your best effort brings success.

Yesterday was a good day.

P.S. Not going to talk about my team ? I’m pretending that wasn’t yesterday ?

RR

Your getting me motivated to run a marathon too! I think have done 6 in my life time but my favourite and quickest time is one that also runs in May, through the villages of Dorset. Am thinking of signing myself up. I would be a 50th birthday present to myself. If I could make it my quickest that would be fab. Like you say its just a question of training. 

When I was marathon training before, at the end of my long runs i'd have a final section of hill work when my legs were really tired. It was a circuit that i'd go round as many times as possible to include this steep uphill and down hill section. Good for stamina. Another suggestion is back to back long runs. Go running late evening for say 2 hours plus and then get up really early and do the same again ie just a few hours in between. It kind of simulates the marathon without actually running the full marathon in one session... which is never really recommended as part of training.

Regards, S.A

Go go go RR. I havent got a marathon in me but i did manage the Great north run on sunday. 

I feel proper pleased, with myself.

Take care, boo ?

I’ve been torturing myself for a while now. I once trained for a marathon by getting up at 0530 hrs midweek to run before work and it was great but now I can’t seem to do it. It sounds brutal to some but there’s something special about leaving for work knowing you’ve had a run. You feel happy all day. You get to relax at night. It creates time elsewhere in the day. I can’t seem to get my lazy b**t out of bed to do it. Now I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I’m struggling to get out at night consistently to run because I’m out at kids clubs every night of the midweek. I need to sort this little dilemma out. It’s only 3 days - Tues, Wed and Thurs. I work from home Friday and off every weekend and rest day Monday. Tomorrow morning I’m leaving the alarm at the door.

Ive been reading a few new diaries all linked to roulette issues. I feel for the poor souls. Roulette is a real killer. Vast amounts can be lost. Today, I’m grateful that I no longer play roulette. When all else is bad I remind myself of this.

P.S. I will become a morning runner once again. Get out of bed lazy.

RR

Thanks for your reply. Yes it was, a hsppy weekend added to the fact of seeing friends and the seaside at whitley bay. 

Now come on.. I want you leaping into that training plan if yours..

My friend runs London in a week or so. I dont know where her strength comes from.

You will smash it ?️‍♀️

Boo ?

Thanks for the message Boo.

So, I have climbed out of bed at 0520 hrs on both Wednesday and Thursday morning for a run. Now I’m sitting on the couch in my jammies watching some TV knowing that I can relax. Its good. I’m weird like that. Longish lie tomorrow and looking forward to a nice long weekend.

RR

So, yesterday my 12 years old son came 11th in the parkrun out of 191 runners and I came  19th. It’s official - he’s better than me now ? He pulled away just after the second mile the little rascal and for the life of me I couldn’t get it back ?‍♀️ My brain was telling my body to go faster and my body was trying to not die. I was gubbed afterwards- my fastest ever Parkrun time was not enough. I’ve warned him I’m not finished yet ?

Today is two years gamble free and my life is far different to the chaos of two years ago. I was a broken man back then. Recovery starts as soon as we stop. When stopped things get better by default.

Going to football today. Not a big fan of Sunday football but looking forward to the game and a nice day off tomorrow.

RR

Big wows.. ?‍♀️?️‍♀️ What a strong team you make.

Keep it going...

Best of wishes, 

Boo ?

Good... ya gotta beat him next time! .... do it!!! 😉

Two years gamble free... fantastic! 

Thank you for this post. I have been a compulsive online gambler for four years and I'm over 50k in debt. Tonight I signed up for gamstop and I feel like this could be the answer for me. Your post gives me hope 🙂 

Ref above post from HelpMe - I have been looking out for your diary but I can’t find anything. I hope you start one soon. I wish you well.

I have been reading some diaries today and yesterday and there is a lot of pain in the words that I read. It is heartbreaking to read the struggles of some. Sometimes I wish this forum was more. I wish I could pick up the phone and call these people. I wish I could take them out for a coffee and have a long chat, to listen and give them the biggest cuddle they ever received.

Addiction truly is a lonely battle sometimes often by choice. I was bad for this. I wouldn’t open up or let anyone in. And the impatience- crikey the impatience is a killer. We want forgiveness from others even when we cannot forgive ourselves. We want change even when we continue doing the same daily damage. We lose all trust and cannot trust ourselves yet for me trust is where it begins. Trusting in the process that when we stop gambling things improve be default. When we see and feel the improvements it snowballs and we make more changes which brings with it more improvements to the point where things just get better and better and we get healthier and happier. It starts with stopping. How do you get an addict in turmoil to believe in the process and to have the patience to see it through. I wish I knew the answer to that.

Today, I’m going to run and I’m going to lift weights in the gym. Later I’m going to the cinema with my wife to watch new Sopranos film. I’m going to try to eat healthy and I’m going to get to bed at a decent time. I’m going to be calm and happy and I’m going to enjoy my day off. 

RR