It's all b********

Interesting read Mole,just have a feeling it will get edited in many parts... (language man 😉 )
Please allow me to put my 5 cent worth. I partly agree with you.
Firstly, us CG need all the support possible from every direction while we are "active". Handing ur finances over to someone you trust is essential in my eyes...still, i think this should be until the trust is earned back or both parts are ready to give their best shot in recovery. Everyone is different, we cannot measure recovery and the pace we are moving. Some ppl canot trust themselves at all and feel comfortable enough to be "on the lead" with finances...some however works hard and proves their loved ones that they're commited to the change. This only works if CG is honest about their feelings, that if feeling wobbly, (we do time to time) asks for that help again, being open and getting their head down without putting a brave mask on while struggling deep inside...plus, as you say, we all need to look at ourselves and the reasons we started gambling in the first place. Trust has to be earned, respect will come alongside it. It is work in progress also.
Still, some people are soooo hurt they think they will never trust the person again..or just are scared of another betrayal..affair with the worst enemy - destructive addiction.

As i said, it is individual battle, and everyone has to find the balance working for them.

Well done on ur 5yrs! It can be done ☺

Sandra

Hi mole,

An interesting perspective on things.

You say "your woman taking control of your bank account really isn't the answer"

Sorry mole but for this soldier it was ONE of the solutions that stopped my addiction and allowed me to begin the journey into recovery.

Which at the end of the day is all that matters at the moment.

Each of us on here makes choices whether to gamble or not.

Each of us on here makes choices as to what direction our individual recovery takes.

You say you are gamble free for 5 years which is a magnificent achievment. Any tips would be very well received.

Best wishes

Hello Molehole,

This summer you did post some very positive and constructive comments on the usefulness of limiting your access to money:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/something-ive-been-thinking-hope-its-useful-others-too

Many of our forum users have found that placing limits on their access to money has helped them to abstain from gambling.

Many of our forum users will also agree with your view that it is helpful to understand why you are gambling.

Kind regards,

Forum Admin.

Your never boring to listen to Molehole. Keep your recovery up.

Tri

Thanks guys for responses. I was just trying to get a debate going. NONE of my comments were aimed at anyone specifically. Honestly.

I reached a point in 2009 where I'd nearly destroyed my life through gambling (and in a pretty short space of time too - only ever really getting sucked in around 2004).

I think there really is such a thing as a predisposition towards addictive behaviour. I'm still drinking far too much when I drink. I drink maybe once a week now, but when I do I'll drink till I metaphorically strip naked on my roof in a lightening storm and try to create new life like Frankenstein, etc.

The reason I can't gamble is because "once a week" drinking leaves me with a hangover but a release of necessary pressure, but "once a week gambling" would leave my bank account completely empty because I can't stop.

I realised this, so I stopped gambling. But I have to have SOMETHING to release the pressure once in a while - and those who advocate a gentle power walk or cross-stitching a picture of the virgin mary's face, healthy diet and warm thoughts, have obviously never felt that level of stress.

Why? Because I currently hate my life, and have done for ten years.

Is this the human condition?

Is this just me being a weak bloke?

I honestly don't know.

But gambling in itself is not an illness - what it IS is a symptom of a deeper unhappiness in your life. Understand that, and the need to gamble becomes easier to handle.

Why am I posting this in "Success Stories"? Well, because I guess I'm a "Success" in that I'm no longer destroying my life with throwing money away on websites in the hope of a cheap buzz/chasing a lie.

But I'm not a "Success" in my life, so I still feel a fraud - and will always replace gambling with something else to kill the pain/boredom/disappointment/fear, until I fix the root causes of my unhappiness.

Anyway, hope some of what I said connects with you and helps.

All the best,

Mole x

Deleted

real x

Hi Molehole I've been reading through some of your posts. Just thought I'd drop by to say I like the way you write and what you say. -wcid

Thanks WCID, I appreciate you saying that. I get a bit worried sometimes as I only post here these days when I've had a skinful - booze was always my gambling trigger. So, when I still (thankfully very rarely now) get that d**n roulette itch, I come on here instead and vent instead of scratching it.

I wake up the next day, still getting that familiar gamblers' sinking feeling with the hangover - "christ how much did I do last night?", but now thank god it's only "christ I hope I wasn't too real on Gamcare last night!!"

Hope you're doing good.

Mx

Interesting stuff, Molehole.

Plenty of food for thought.

Thanks

Hi mole

I did the same thing i gave my mother and girlfriends over many years my bank cards I could not trust my self with them !! it did work eventually I have my cards back I seem to have got over the worse . The addiction Gambling made me homeless for a few months and bad credit , family helped in the end . Gambling is a sin it has its links with religion over 2000 years ago I think we are victims not a free will choice as its a temptation rather than a desire ? your views please .