Never thought I’d be writing this

Well done mate i hope your doing well, can u share share any tips trick which has helped you do one of the main issues i find is urges and gambling thoughts how have u combat them are u doing anything differently 

@tazman I’m fortunate in that all my gambling was online slots and I wouldn’t dream of going into a casino or bookies and piling in the money i did online. So I feel it’s made slightly easier in that I put blocks in place so I couldn’t access the sites or sign up to new ones. Although this didn’t stop me relapsing using my husbands details to sign up but I’m not sure what it was the last few years, I don’t have the urges I once did. Maybe a time will come when I’ll be tested, I don’t doubt it. Reading these forums helped a lot too. I would read peoples stories to remind myself of the dark love it was at rock bottom. Sorry I wish I could offer more advice. If the gambling you do is online then blocks are a must and also if you have another half- I felt telling him was a turning point for me too as he was the first person I’d told 

A huge well done to you! And thank you so much for sharing some success as this gives me hope for my partner who is a month gamble free and currently only really just beginning his journey. I will share your story with him 🙂

@kf91 the reason why i was asking im actually in the same boat i started gambling in 2004 and it becoming a problem around 2006 it got worse from 2007-2012 where nothing helped i was self excluded from all land based casino whivh helped and i was excluded from bookies but i still managed to find another bookie this went on till 2016 aftee that i managed with help of Ga to become gamble free for few month at a time i kept having relapses but i wasent has bad as i was before my last relpase i managed to be GF for over 2 and half years i had forgotten about gambling and assumed it was all past it until i had a family tradegy usually when i gamblied i wanted to win back my past losses and when that did happen i wasent able to keep it and ended up in a loss each time im nearly 2 month GF now but for some reason i believe i have cracked as i have accepted its a life long illness and could drive me back at any time, i was wondering if u feel the same way, ive been told by GA to hand over cards etc to prevent me gambling but i do now i dont have any intention to do it again as my last relpase wasent about the money and im already prepared myself before hand to get emotional support in case something does happen in life i was wondering if you are doing the same as u feel very content

@cockapoolover yeah please do. I remember being where he was. That’s good that he has confided in you and has your support through his journey. I was already about a year in to the trust deed before I spoke to my husband about it and it was a massive weight off my shoulders- I wish I had done it sooner and that feels like just yesterday. Now coming out my trust deed I’m not debt free when my debt amount before it was horrendous (doesn’t let you post amounts on here) however I never saw myself coming out the other end of it and now I can start to build my credit up. 

that’s amazing that he has managed a month so far. That un itself is condemnable, every single day is! ?

@tazman it’s a tricky one to describe. I started gambling back in 2008/2009 and it progressively became a bigger problem over the years but would never affect my “essential bills” I called them- like phone payment and car payment and rent. Then it started to affect them, then before I knew it I was getting my pay in my bank at midnight and depositing however much at a time until the dreaded error message came up saying I couldn’t deposit and I’d look in my bank and there wouldn’t be funds left, and I’d sit there in the middle of the night crying my eyes out and applying to credit cards in the hope I’d get accepted to cover my bills. Then eventually my credit was so bad and I had so much debt that I wasn’t getting approved for those either. Plus the amount I was paying each month in just minimum payments was more than half my rent. 

after each of these times I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again and I did this promise to myself gosh knows how many times over the year, until I had an extra wee bit of money and thought I’ll deposit that and I would win and that would be me for the next few days, infact there was one time I deposited and then got a big win that completely paid off two of the credit cards and I left with that and that was enough for a few days until I went back and lost that full amount plus all my bank money and was then taking another card out. It was extremely  dark times, I get emotional sitting thinking about it now- it’s like PTSD. It’s horrendous. Eventually I put blocking software in place but I’d found a way round that using my husbands details and that was a year into my trust deed. 

I’m three years gamble free and no cravings but I can’t guarantee it will stay that way, however all I can have is hope and I think that’s the same with you. Don’t look at it as you WILL relapse again when something happens. Try your hardest to say you won’t and remind yourself of the darkest places you’ve been in. I paid for somehting that put a block on my phone so even if I Google the word gamble then it will block it. I believe you can do it, one day at a time! You can do it for yourself because you don’t deserve to be sucked into those dark places again. 

@kf91 infact their another member in a similar situation should got a diary on here she was too so well and everything was going so well everything was going until until the partner left, i can see the temption to gamble again is strong as life is full of twist and turns the q is how she could deal with this issue and move forward something similar happened to me i was over 2 and half years and could have still been GF i had a family tradegy which caused me to relapse i believe if my life carried on the same i would not have gambled again it was a sudden tradegy which hasent happened before i wasent expecting it, i believe triggere should be talked about more and how to deal with mental health when you need it most, im not worried about these issues as i accepted its a life long illness and i have made changes to my life to prepare myself early, im using the same principle as running a business you always need a plan b/c/d otherwise you can never come back from it, im only 2 month GF but i feel much stronger when i did 2 half years am alot wiser now

@tazman yeah that’s brilliant that you’ve realised what triggers you and putting techniques in to place to try to manage that the next time something should potentially happen. Your right that unfortunately tragedies and hard times are all a part of life as much as good times are. I’ve had lots of tragedies such as testing positive for huntingtons disease but also seeing my gran deteriorate daily from it and also my mum, hard times with alcoholics in the family, break ups etc .. perhaps there was a link to those times and relapses, I can’t say I was aware of it but also my eyes weren’t open to me having a problem. I probably most definitely gambled due to the emotional part of those two and maybe didn’t put two and two together. 

im not saying I’m free of this, I also agree it’s a lifelong thing and I will do doubt be tested at some point again and again as far as gambling and relapsing goes. There’s unfortunately only so much you can put in place as far as bans from websites etc. plus times are hard with money just now and cost of living. We are going down to statuatory maternity pay next month and it’s hard. Financially I’m the best I’ve been for years with paying off the trust deed and managing to save some money when I was pregnant- I’ve never had savings before. I’m not rolling in money by any means but im in the best position I’ve been in a long time however I’m still anxious about money day in and day out and I don’t think that will ever go away and that’s stemmed from the gambling too. 

@kf91 Hi, your story is very similar to mine. Well done to you. Just under four years ago I was in the depths of despair with gambling. I racked up a huge amount of debt and somehow managed to hide it. After about a year I then confided in a good friend mainly because I needed money. Massive relief because then it becomes real. Once I’d admitted to myself I had a major problem, I put all blocks in place which is a major help to not being able to gamble online. I haven’t gambled for over 2 years.  I have paid off all of my debts, which was probably about a years salary. I have never once had an urge since, but there’s always the worry that I may. I honestly never thought I’d be in this position of being debt free and that constant feeling of financial anxiety is all gone. Any one who is in that horrible place, speak to someone. 

@kf91 so glad I came across this post and thread.

For years I have paid the essentials, rent, council tax ect but the blow the remaining overdraft on gambling.

Then I would go over the permitted overdraft to pay for expenses, fuel, food ect.  I would get hit by high interest each month.  Then apply for loans or/and credit cards desperately hoping I could get my hands on some cash. 

I even withdrew from a credit card at an atm to get cash to top up my bank account so I could bring it into the overdraft and avoid charges and  fuel my car to take the family on holiday.  High interest, cash withdrawal fee... Crazy

PTSD I am so there.  And I did it to myself.

But I always paid the minimum payment so my credit score improved.  Some of my credit cards have a over £10,000 limit which is ridiculous given I don't have a great paying job.

All my money goes on minimum payments and essential bills.  I am well into the overdraft one week after payday.  But I pretend everything is okay to everyone around me.

I'm waiting for the house of cards to fall down. I have stopped gambling for the past 3 weeks and that is a massive achievement. But I don't know how long I can maintain the illusion that I can support my family with this debt.

I am just about holding it together right now.  Threads like this keep me going.

@92z48gpiok so good to hear your story. Gives me hope!

@thebean Yeah it’s like reading about my past with what you posted there. I did all of those things you spoke about in that reply. 

I entered a trust deed which I’m now out of. The downside of a trust deed is that it completely blacklists your credit. It basically puts all your debt in to one payment and wipes all the debt and you basically start building it up from scratch.  I mean,although I personally got to the point I wasn’t getting accepted with any credit, I was just paying the minimum payments so would never clear it in a million years therefore the trust deed was the best option for me and I’m now out the other end of it which feels great. 

i kept getting advice to tell someone, whether it be family or my partner, about my gambling and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. However my dad kept asking why we rent and why we don’t go for a mortgage appointment and I kept brushing it off as that both myself and my husband have bad credit so wouldn’t get accepted but he kept saying about going to a mortgage appointment anyways. He was getting a bit confused as to why we wouldn’t and why we kept renting so I eventually at that point (3 years ago) told my husband and my dad about my gambling and about the trust deed. It was a huge weight off my shoulders and felt great so I would advice telling someone and letting them be your support. I don’t think the reaction will be half as bad as you think it will be. 

have you got all th blocks in place like Gamban etc? 

@kf91. It is great to know that you are not the only one isn't it!  It makes you feel sane.

I haven't got the courage to tell anyone. I know that there would be a big reaction as being in debt due to gambling is so the opposite of what anyone would expect.  I know it would be okay in time but I'm just not in the headspace to have the conversation.

I tried Gamban, for me it didn't work, my brain saw it as a challenge to remove it and the next step was gambling. 

I have got other blocks in place, gambling transactions stopped by bank, Gamstop etc. But I think I have actually knocked the gambling on the head.  I genuinely don't want to gamble.  I don't think I ever will again.  The thought literally makes me feel sick when I consider the hell I have put myself through.

I do have a massive anxiety about the debt.  It has been quite overwhelming the past 48h as I wake up in my life to see the damage that I have done.

I wouldn't want to ruin my credit file for 6 years so it's matter of working 2 jobs and spending nothing except debt.  But at least I have stopped gambling!

@thebean Honestly, there is always a way out, a solution. I never thought I would get out of those dark, horrible days where everything is overwhelming around money. But I did, I’ve done it and every time I think back it makes feel sick and disgusted with myself. You can do this, you really can.