165 Days gamble free thanks to Counselling and support of people around me.
Have not gambled for 165 days and for me thats something i am quite proud of i have been at my lowest point in my life the last few weeks as have long struggled with depression and anxiety i was due to have a real break down so to speak.
165 days ago i faced the truth of my gambling and i watched as it broke my wifes heart that i could of done this to her to our family. If i could say something to myself back then it would be dont worry it will get easier its not over yet. I didnt think i could have a future where my wife would be able to look at me the same but its a journey she still has moments where she thinks about it i am sure but we have managed to pull through it.
I started counselling ashamed and the person who helped me was kind hearted i spent the first session watching the clock wanting it done and thinking of reasons not to come back but i have and he has helped me to change my life around. He didnt judge me or put unrealistic expectations on what i should do instead he put points across to make me see different. I work in retail so i would always have a scratchcard here and there i agreed to go cold turkey not a single thing no lottery no nothing. The support he has given goes beyond the gambling he helps me to understand myself there is still times i look back and am full of regret for what i have done but i can also look in the mirror and not hate the person i see. There is good days there is bad days how i got through it and continue to is.
1. My wife took control of my acounts to be honest this made me feel imasculated as i thought i was being treated like a child. Proberly the best thing she could of done i can still spend my money but i know i couldnt go on a gambling site without her being aware. She has checked on me without telling me she is doing so which has made me feel independant as well as supported.
2. Learning to live with the problem i can openly tell people i have a gambling problem so they wont invite me to events that could trigger me to relapse so to speak. Worse words i hear is an event that was vegas themed and someone said "its not real money" people dont understand its a way down into what could of done.
3. Gambling was a way to escape boredom i learnt to do more with my kids sit and play enjoy the moments i think of time i did waste and i want to repay that
4. Go easy on yourself its easy to sit and punish yourself for wanting to gamble tell someone how your feeling and why you want to they can help distract you help to bring the mind back
thank you gamcare for giving me myswekf back
Hello tffp11,
Well done for the actions you have taken to abstain from gambling and to change your life for the better.
It sounds like you feel it has been helpful to open up and to use support, as allowing your wife to look at your finances and allowing yourself to use the support of a counsellor, have both made a difference for you. It seems that in opening up to receive that support, you now feel some more self-acceptance and can enjoy more quality time with your family.
If at any point you feel like you would benefit from more support from GamCare, you are welcome to call us on 0808 8020 133.
Thank you for sharing your feedback and for sharing the elements of your approach to recovery.
Take care,
Forum admin.
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